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A few months ago a (newer) coach asked what he should cover at a parent meeting beyond going over the handbook. I can’t find that post, but I just had the BEST parent-coach meeting that I ever went to, and I thought I’d share some of the things that this coach did. This was a coach talking to parents of L5/L6 girls fast-tracked (I use the term lightly - really it's just girls identified to have the potential to go to Optionals in the next couple of years) who are 7-10 years old. We are all new to her team although not new to the gym.
I hope this is useful to coaches who plan talks with their new teams.
- She talked about her background. Now, I’ve had other coaches do this, but it always came off sort of braggy (e.g., “I was almost an elite gymnast”). This coach was very straight forward about her years of experience but also talked about why she coaches the levels she does and what she brings to it.
- She complimented every single girl on the team during her talk. I don’t know if she planned this out, but she just worked it into the conversation. For example, she’d say something like “A is extremely flexible which is going to be great for her when we work on ….”
- She made her expectations to the parents clear and gave specific examples from her experience. Most importantly she talked about what 8-10 year olds will not always share with their coach, even when they should. For example, she told a story of a girl who was normally a really hard worker who was just not doing her best. Finally she snapped “what is wrong with you today?” and the girl explained that her dog had died the night before. She said how girls will sometimes not talk about this because they don’t want their coach to think they are shirking, but the parent should email to help the conversation.
- She talked about her own kids and family. Not too much, but enough so that I could related to her as a mother.
- She talked about her goals for the team. She made it clear that if they give it their all, their scores should be in a certain range and showed a general roadmap of when they should be acquiring skills.
- She talked about the need for balance in their lives and gave some specific examples of what will over tax a child vs. what will give a child a good time outside of the gym.
- She talked at length about injuries and injury prevention. Even saying things like “if your child is limping at home, email me so that I watch them at the next practice.”
- She talked about what we should expect as our children get older, both the good and the more difficult. She gave actual statistics about how many graduating seniors go on to 4-year colleges (not for gymnastics –just to study) and how girls who stay in the program stay out of trouble.
- Most importantly, she actually asked us (as parents) what our goals were. That is, what do we hope our kids gets out of the hundreds of dollars a month we shell out. I just about fell out of my chair with shock.
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My daughter is on pre-team right now at our gym and we just had a meeting with the coach and all the parents of the pre-team. They gave a year's heads up on costs for level 4 and told us what to expect in case we wanted to go ahead with the commitment or not. It was so nice knowing so far in advance about what to expect and the costs. Also they ask that if your daughter wants to be on team that you commit to it and sign a contract so no one can decide later that they don't want to do it and then all the other parents fees go up again because they have to cover the cost of that child. We also talked about when they would be testing and when they will tell us if our child will be ready to move up to level 4 or continue working on their skills in pre-team. It was so nice hearing stories and listening. It helped out so much.
Also wanted to add that they talked to the parents about how to act at meet, don't come out onto the gym floor, don't call your kids over to you during a competition, always cheer for the other teams, never yell at a judge, and etc. It was all helpful information. There is probably a lot more that I am missing but you get the Jiff of it all. I loved the meeting and look forward to more.
Wow, that was a great meeting, Thanks for sharing.
Our Gym does't do anything like that. I sure wish that they did. The more time that I spend on this board (although I know that I don't post as often as I probably should) the more I see how closed and "secrectative" our Gym is. It is really opening my eyes.
These are very interesting thoughts I was just talking to one of our HC yesterday about this very subject.
We are trying plan ahead as things have been handeled poorly for awhile, parents left in the dark about things coming up and team commitment. It is not intentional on the gyms part but, rather a lack of planning ahead. This is where good office staff is essential. They need to knkow about team and help manage it. Unfortunaly our office staff is poor at this and it will not change because they are owners family. So our Booster club is stepping up to help organize this stuff. In the end it benifits team also.
I will be printing these posts and saving them for the january/february prep-team parent meeting. I have found that parents begin to plan summer aboutthen here in MN seems carzy but it is what happens.
Thanks for sharing these things. I have found a few coach/ team parent meetings through out the year help to defray manyof the issues that come up.
My dd left her previous gym because there was no communication. That coach is really tuned in to what parents need to know. We are not only spending the money, but giving up a lot of time with our children, and I need to know that the coach is going to have a plan and share it with me.
I would love to attend a meeting like that!
It’s funny because just a few months ago I was here posting how I was afraid to bring up issues or make waves at my gym. That was before my daughter moved up to this incredibly experienced and talented coach. Some takeaways for newer coaches here who are reading this:
The stories and examples are really great. I definitely have the type of kid who would not tell her coach that her dog died. So to have the coach say “it is part of your job to tell me these things…” made me think about communications differently. This was far more effective than her just saying “email me if something is going on” without personalizing it.
Also, I have never once had anyone ask me as a parent “what is it you want out of this…” We did it in a group situation and it led to a really great (short) discussion about our kids and families. For example, once child is just incredibly bouncy and physical and they want her to have this outlet. My child, on the other hand, is very shy and socially awkward but just comes alive in the gym. Another parent talked about the importance of team sports. It was very productive.
Finally, everyone loves to hear their child complimented. So, her saying just one nice thing about each girl in the course of the meeting warmed us all.
Thank you for posting this. My family is very, very new to the competitive side of gymnastics. My daughter joined pre-team in June and if it weren't for a few other moms who have been on pre-team (or have older daughters on team) longer than us, I would know nothing. I know the coaches have been getting ready to take the team to camp soon, so I'm hoping that in a few weeks they'll be getting ready for the fall and give us some more information soon.
It is really nice to hear that some coaches communicate well and it is also comforting to note that my gym isn't the only one where the communication is hit or miss.
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Thanks for sharing it!