I don't want to go to practice ever again... help??

[fishchimes]

This is going to be long...

Yesterday at practice we were doing pretty hard conditioning (at least relatively), suicides and then frog jumps and inchworm pushups. I got sent to the back of the line because my pushups weren't deep enough; apparently our chests were supposed to touch the floor. I started to get upset and said that that was impossible (touching your chest makes the pushups archy), but I did better pushups the next time. "See" my coach said. I protested that my chest wasn't touching the ground. She said that she was just looking for something close to that. That annoyed me because I feel she should have just told us to do what she actually wanted in the first place instead of exaggerating.

Then when that was finished, we were going to do 60 elbow leg lifts/v-ups, holding an elbow hollow for a count of 2 between each. I said that I only did 30 during the strength evaluation (and I was trying really hard to get to 30; I was literally vibrating on the last few). I didn't think I was going to be able to do 60, especially not with a hollow hold in between each one. Even so I was ready to just try it, but then my coach said "it was sad how the level 4s were kicking your butts" and it just made me so angry!!! I blurted that they were a lot smaller than the level 5s and she said "that doesn't matter". IT DOES TOO MATTER!! I hate that!! I got so angry I just burst into tears and was sent to the bathroom to calm down.

I was going to just stay there for the remaining 45 minutes of practice too but she sent one of the team members to come get me. When I didn't come out, she came herself to talk to me, but I didn't want discuss it. I just wanted to go home. The first she asked me was if team was harder than I thought it was going to be. What the heck is that supposed to mean?! Is she implying that this is all me being a crybaby?!! I shook my head; I expected team was going to be hard, I guess I just thought it was going to be a good kind of hard. I didn't say anything, even though the question made me even angrier.

Finally, I said that I didn't think it was very nice to compare level 4s and level 5s. She said something about how she was just trying to say that the level 5s should be able to do more conditioning than the level 4s because level 5s do harder skills. But then she said the reason why the level 4s did a lot of reps was because they did more strength since they didn't have as many meets to prepare for. In that case, how is it our fault that we can't do the same strength? When I brought this up she said "but we do a lot of strength". Umm, you just said the level 4s do more...
She continued to say that 60 v ups was supposed to be a challenge. When I said I could only do 30 good ones, she said it was okay if they were a little messed up after 30. I thought that was a really self-contradictory thing to say, since she always yells at people for not doing reps right and threatens to start us over. 60 may be a challenge for some gymnasts, but 30 was already a challenge for me. But I still couldn't think of anything to say.

After that I intended to call my parents to come pick me up, but I forgot my cell phone, and no way was I asking my coach if I could use hers. So I just waited for 30 minutes.

I'm especially upset by that question about team being hard; I feel like she was implying that I was a whiner. I was on team all summer, when we did a lot of hard conditioning, and nothing like this happened. So I don't think the extent of the problem is that I'm just a whiner.

So now I have practice again tomorrow, and I don't want to go because I'm embarrassed that I started crying in front of everyone (which might have been okay if I was the youngest, but since I'm in 9th grade it's probably not) and I'm mad at my coach. What should I do?? I really want to finish the season because I love competing, but at the same time...

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[nevertooold]

Without getting into the specifics of your experience I just want to say that letting an occasional embarrassment prevent you from continuing something you enjoy is something you may regret later.

Most coaches do not like being backtalked. It sounds like you were really frustrated, but your coach may respond better to statements such as "I'm trying my best" or "I'm getting frustrated" or "I'm struggling with this, should I just do as many as I can correctly?" or silence.

In regards to the embarrassment just walk in there with your head held high, no one can make you feel bad but you. If your coach or teammates comment on the situation just say "yeah, I was really frustrated but I feel better now" and leave it at that. All people have embarrassing situation, including coaches! We all do and say things we wish we could take back. Apologize if you feel it is appropriate or necessary to preserve the relationship with your coach and then forget about it and move on.

[gymdog]

I think it is good to learn to work with people in situations that are sometimes frustrating without becoming overly emotional yourself. I would make a plan to "mentally detach" during the conditioning and think things over before responding, asking a question, or trying again. Plan to do your best. Don't be embarassed. Everyone has bad days. But you need to try and do what your coach describes without saying things like "it is impossible." 99% of the time the coach is just looking for you to TRY to get your chest closer to the ground or whatever (which admittedly seems possible to me without a significant arch, though you may need to turn your elbows in more...but maybe I'm misunderstanding your specific concern). Saying things like "this is impossible" is very frustrating and detracts from the group as well. It sounds like the coach is frustrated by the attitude towards conditioning in your group, rather than any specific numbers. I think you should try to be a leader in having a good attitude and making obvious attempts to do the corrections even if you slow down or have to break the sets into lower reps. If your coach sees you do this and is reasonable at all, then they will appreciate the effort. Good luck!

[gymster]

I can understand your frustration with the situation and your feelings of embarassment! Unfortunatly you can not take back any of your actions! However sometimes as coaches it our job to prepare you not only for life inside the gym or on the competition floor but the World that awaits you beyond Gymnastics! People are going to say things in life that you do not agree with! Work task are going to be at times brutual and seem to be unfair and even unproductive but when these task are completed the feelings of accomplishment are much more rewarding than even a gold medal.I promise that people will soon forget about the days events as some other drama will unfold to take its place! as is in life! Sometime you need to just vent your frustrsations! I know!!!!!!! But be a champion put on your leo and go back in that gym and dont let anyone steal your dream! :O) Good Luck!

[Pickle's Mom]

There is so much I want to say to you both as a mom and as a former athlete. But I don’t want to sound preachy.

The first thing is, please, before you do anything else, say these words aloud: “Yesterday was a hard day. Tomorrow will be better.” We all face adversity. We all screw up. We all deal with people who we don’t like. But your life will be so much better if you learn to put that behind you at the end of the day.
Second, your coach sounds like, well, a coach. Sometimes, to motivate kids, they point out that other kids can do it. It doesn’t work for all kids, and it sounds like it really doesn’t work for you. But, this is not the last time this technique will be used on you, so you will have to figure out a way to handle it. And you will have to find a way to handle it wityhout saying things like “but they are smaller…” Because trust me, all coaches (bosses, teachers, parents, etc.) hate that.

Finally, I don’t think there is a single athlete who hasn’t cried at some point in their training. I don’t recommend it, but it happens. When I was swimming I had an injury and was out of the pool for a couple of months. I was so excited to start training again. I had no idea how frustrating the process would be. For the first time, I felt like the clock was my enemy. And I cried a lot (and I was older that you are).

I hope this helps.

[fishchimes]

Thank you for your comments.

"Because trust me, all coaches (bosses, teachers, parents, etc.) hate that."

Even if it's the truth?

[AlexsGymmyMom]

I am sorry that you had such a bad day at the gym. But you just need to shake it off and realize that that was just one day in your life and do not let it dictate the rest!! Hold your head up high and walk back in there like it never happened!!

[coachmolly]

Sorry you had a bad experience, I switched to a new gym when I was 15 with much harder conditioning that the other team members had been doing for years and I was very far behind. So I know how frustrating it can be. I'm also a very emotional person and, on top of that, I can be very intense and anxious which only compounds the problem. If I would have not gone back to the gym after every bad practice, melt down, crying fit, etc., I probably would have quit gym way before I actually did. But I kept going back because I loved gymnastics and wanted to move past those frustrations and get better. Now that I am a coach, I can see that I was probably a nightmare to work with at times, but in life you need to be prepared to work with all kinds of people. I've been able to take the times a coach used methods that were not particularly effective on me, or even downright cruel, and learned from them how not to be as a coach, but also see how what I did was frustrating for the coach at the time. It makes a huge difference when you're able to see things from the other side.
Because I know how hard it is to play catch up with conditioning as you get older, I really do stress strength with all of my younger gymnasts. I keep it within their respective limits, but sometimes they do struggle. In those cases, I just want to see them trying their best. Saying things like "I can't" or "that's impossible" just makes the experience more frustrating for me, especially if I'm already a little frustrated by other aspects of the practice. So in situations where you feel like you can't, or that something is impossible, just give it your best shot. Coaches (at least reasonable ones) do notice little improvements! Especially if making that little step was a struggle for you. Just go into the gym with a good attitude and a willingness to give whatever the coach asks of you your best shot, no complaints, and see where it gets you.
Conditioning is hard and it does take time to build strength, I think your coach realizes this and just wants to see you exerting your best effort to try to get better.

[gymnastjess]

So now I have practice again tomorrow, and I don't want to go because I'm embarrassed that I started crying in front of everyone (which might have been okay if I was the youngest, but since I'm in 9th grade it's probably not) and I'm mad at my coach. What should I do?? I really want to finish the season because I love competing, but at the same time...

Same thing happened to me, we were doing pit runs (run along our 15m pit through all the foam and back) twice, i whinged about the first pit run because i HATE pit runs with a passion lol but i got in and did it, then she said we had to do another like [FONT=Wingdings][/FONT] but i got in and did it then on the way back i was about 2 m from touching the wall when i saw that the other team was done, i looked up at my team mate who said Toni said we have to do another [FONT=Wingdings][/FONT] i just sat there in the pit- i was so tired after a full week of school, dance and my swimming carnival ect. I was stuffed and i could feel and asthma attack coming on :/, i looked up at my coach and mouthed i can’t do it, then cried well i didn’t burst out into tears but the tears rolled down my face, then i covered my face with foam. All the little kids jumped in trying to pull the foam off my face, but i held it on, i don’t think my coach knew i was crying because she waited a minute before she took action, she walked over to the side of the pit and with foam on my face she called out “JESS” then i looked out and she had her hand there and said “I’ll help you” so i took her hand and she pulled me out of the pit, I’m heavy lol and one of the lil kids said is Jess heavy and Toni said no which i thought was awfully sweet lol but then after i got out of the pit Toni said “thankyou” I’m thinking thank you for what like does she think i was actually ABLE to do it but just didn’t want to? Anyway we didn’t have to do a third pit run because whilst i was sitting in the pit she said once Jess gets out we will go somewhere else, but i just couldn’t get out [FONT=Wingdings][/FONT] lol anyway we were walking over to long tramp when i started to feel an asthma attack really start to come on, i told my team mate Jess that i needed my asthma puffer, she told Toni and Toni said “is it here?” i said “no i left it in the car” like who leaves their asthma puffer in the car :/. Anyway she said ill see if i still have mine (she’s a gymnast too so she went over to her locker) and she found it and dusted off the dirt and gave it to me lol so i had my puffs the first was of pure dirt LOL but i was all good, the girls were soooooo jealous they even stated how jealous they were that i got to use Toni’s special puffer haha i felt pretty Special lol. But all in all i felt weird after practice too for crying because I’m the oldest at 14 the rest of the girls other than my team mate Jess are 7,8 or 9 yrs old :/. What kind of annoyed me also was that my coach stated that it should be easier for us because we have longer legs, trust me if you have seen my legs you would know that they are probably the same height as the 8 yr olds lol but i think it would be easier for 7,8 and 9 yo’s because they have sooo much stamina and its all games even conditioning they do double like wah its so easy for them because they have so much energy, us older kids are stuffed :/ but anyway don’t worry they will forget it just walk in and don’t listen to anything they say, p.s. i just realized that i could have gotten to my point an hour ago meh lol [FONT=Wingdings][/FONT] good luck

[my4buffaloes]

I see girls cry at gymnastics all the time. It is easy to get frustrated at such a difficult sport. You are not the first, nor will you be the last, to cry there. Nothing to be embarrassed about. It sounds as if your coach was trying to figure out what was going on with you. Hopefully by you speaking up she will realize that not everyone can do all of the conditioning perfectly for as many reps as they want and stop making people start over. I really don't like it when they make kids start over, because they are already working their bodies hard and as you mentioned, the more you do the harder it is to maintain good form. Good luck! I am sure it will be fine, everyone has bad days every now and then. No reason to give up something you love.