Do you think parents can be too pushy?

[Geoffrey Taucer]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dani Do you think that certain parents (maby at your gymn) Can be to pushy and can over push their children. Also what do you think about parents being coaches do you think it adds difficulty or its help the gymnast. Finaly if your a coach and a mom/dad do you coach your own children or get other people to coach them!

Original thread: Do you think parents can be to pushy!


So, can parents be too pushy? Lemme think about thiYES PARENTS CAN BE WAY TOO PUSHY, AND THEY VERY FREQUENTLY ARE.

I coach several girls who I'm positive would be much better gymnasts if their parents would learn to shut up and let the kids enjoy it.

I've said many times before that the duty of pushing a kid forward should fall on the kid and the coach, NOT the parent. The best thing a parent can do is to be unconditionally supportive of their kid.

And a depressing number of parents just don't get this.

As for parents coaching their kids, I'm not really sure. I would avoid it if possible, but it can be done effectively as long as the parent/coach is able to treat the two roles (parent and coach) as being distinct from each other. If you want to coach your kid, you need to treat them as you would any other kid while you're in the gym, and any pressure/pushing you're doing as a coach should cease the moment you walk out the door. In other words, you need to be able to switch between coach mode and parent mode and avoid mixing the two.

This is all based on observation, not experience; I don't have any kids of my own.

[Dani]

Sorry for posting in wrong forum! ^_^

[Geoffrey Taucer]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dani Sorry for posting in wrong forum! ^_^

Oh, no, you didn't post in the wrong forum; I want the thread to be in both places so both parents and coaches can comment on it without it descending into an argument.

[Dani]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Geoffrey Taucer Oh, no, you didn't post in the wrong forum; I want the thread to be in both places so both parents and coaches can comment on it without it descending into an argument.

Oh OK! ^_^

[hammy]

I find a lot of parents are extremly pushy, which, I agree with GT, hinders the child's success. I've seen too many kids come into the gym not caring about what happens, because they're only doing it to make their parents happy.

As far as coaching your own child; well, I just don't know about that one. To me, it's kind of like teaching your own child at school; which, as a future teacher, is something that I don't want to do. I've seen a few coaches coach their own children, and they tended to be even harder on their child than the other kids. I've also seen coaches coach their child and be more lenient with their child.

[CoachLin]

I too have come across a lot of pushy parents. It makes it difficult for both the athlete and the coach. We get parent's that like to come in and tell you how to coach their child, how routine's should look, what music to use.....

As for coaching your own child I have done so and it was an enjoyable experience but not something I wish to do again. It is incredibly difficult to do, and put's a great deal of strain and pressure on yourself. To be able to treat your child no differently than any other child while your are coaching a group is an increddible task! And they don't always like it and often resent it when they are at a young age. Which is why I no longer coach my own. Sometimes it work's and sometime's not.

[audra]

There are pushy parents in all sports and can be one of the most difficult things to deal with as a coach.

As far as coaching my own child, as a parent I would love to say I think it would be great and I have would have no problem separating from coach and parent. But in actuality I'm not sure I would be able to do it. As a coach I expect a lot from students and I would be scared of pushing my own child too hard. Although it will be hard to watch someone else coach them. We will have to see when they get older.

[~JEM~]

Some parents are wayyy too pushy. As a coach I see a lot of pushy parents, I have a particularly bad parent right now who pushes her 7yr old soooo hard! Its sad to watch sometimes, I feel very sorry for the child. On the other hand, sometimes a parent who is right into it is good (right into it rather than pushing their child too hard though), you know they are reliable and will always be at the gym/ at competitions/ willing to do whatever they need to.

As for parents coaching, we have a number of parents as coaches at our gym, 1 of them coaches their own daughters group in the gym and there doesnt seeem to be a problem. The kid seems to work harder when her mom is in the gym I think.

[gracefulone]

Ok wow. I've seen a lot o fparents trying to live through their kids so that is often a problem. One of the moms came to a practice as was coaching all the girls, and she doesn't really know what she's talking about.

[Mac]

Instead of just "yeah, some parents are too pushy," can you define what you mean by that? One extreme is a parent who is forcing their child into a sport the child doesn't want to do. Another extreme is a parent is uninterested in whatever their child does. There's a big range between those two. What does "pushy mean to you, because pushy to one might be reasonable to another.