WAG How Confidential is a Visit to Another Gym?

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Clover

Proud Parent
We are not seriously considering changing gyms at this time, but there are some things that are making me think we may need to at some point in the near future. There is another gym that may be a good fit for my daughter, but I don't want coaches from our current to find out if we visit there. I'd rather not wait until we HAVE to change to start visiting other gyms, but since I don't know for sure if we will change I don't want to cause issues at our current gym.

Thoughts???

THANKS!
 
Generally, I don't think the gyms will tell, but there is always someone who knows someone, who "might have saw you there"
 
If the gym is crowded and you don't talk to a single soul...no parents, coaches, etc., you may get away with it. Otherwise, gymnastics is a small community, and everyone knows everyone. Last year we went to check out another gym and the head coach/owner already "knew" my DD...told me how she did at states last year, etc. Word most definitely got back to DD's gym. But, if you're willing to take the chance to see what else is out there, go for it!
 
We visited a large gym before Bella made team just to see what all the fuss was about. I didn't broadcast it but a few times it came up in conversation and I just stated in matter-of-factly. Because she wasn't on team yet, it wasn't that big of a deal. Our gym had just been bought by its current owner and there was some uncertainty about her personality and all of the changes she was making.

Three years later and it's another story. Now we have a relationship with the coaches (who we love so leaving is a moot point). We made a different kind of commitment to the gym so now I would handle it differently.

If there was some "issue" making me want to leave, I'd sit down with the coach to see if we could resolve an issue. If it didn't get resolved, I would just be honest and say that I'm not sure the environment was the best for my daughter and then visit another gym. If I loved it, I would tell the staff that we would be leaving at the end of the month/term/season and move on.

Now, I say all of this knowing that our coach is not vindictive nor hateful toward children. If you felt the staff would punish your child for your decision, then I would sign up at the new gym, go to the old gym to get your belongings and say goodbye. Make it a clean break that way because no way do you want to let petty, mean people have access to your child. But I think that those kind of coaches are in the vast minority.
 
If you visit another gym during normal operating hours and its within a 20 minute commute to your house/school, you can expect that you will be seen by someone you or your child knows and word will get out to your home gym. Why are you considering changing gyms?
 
Yeah...I agree it's pretty likely her current coaches will find out. Most likely it would be another parent or gymnast that talks more than the coaches/owner of the different gym. Like a scenario where a girl at the new gym knows a gymnast at the current gym and will say "I saw so and so work out at my gym, do you know her?"...then the girls at current gym all know, and it only takes one of them to say something to or in front of the coach.

Same deal w/ parents who are observing while you're there. Parents tend to know other gym parents at different gyms...there are always several kids who used to train at another gym, so the parents still know each other.

Possibly getting a new gymnast on your team is a exciting news...people naturally just want to talk about it ;).
 
Maybe you could just do the "research" end of things now? Get the HC of the other team to answer your questions via email, get any sort of literature that they have available, talk to parents you know who go there or who have been there in the past. Maybe visit all by yourself at a time when the gym is crowded with lots of other parents just to get a feel for how the coaches interact with the gymnasts. Hold off including your DD in the process for as long as possible. Starting to think about changing gyms is likely to be stressful to her, especially if she's going to her regular gym and not supposed to mention it.

Of course, here on CB, I always read "if you're thinking about changing gyms, then it's probably overdue."
 
There is a mom on our team that decided to take her daughter to visit a gym 25 min down the road, they met with the coach there & talked....turns out that coach called our coach as soon as they walked out the door lol .... So, I'm not sure about your state, but in AL the coaches are all BFF's... It's almost impossible to switch unless you move & your coach calls the new gym to tell they you are coming!!
 
I would say the visit wouldn't be confidential at all. Does this other gym have a pro shop? Maybe you could go there under the guise of "looking for new leos and don't want to pay shipping?" Another thought is to visit 2 or 3 of them and ask about anything from rec to team and say you're doing research "for your niece"?
 
There is a mom on our team that decided to take her daughter to visit a gym 25 min down the road, they met with the coach there & talked....turns out that coach called our coach as soon as they walked out the door lol .... So, I'm not sure about your state, but in AL the coaches are all BFF's... It's almost impossible to switch unless you move & your coach calls the new gym to tell they you are coming!!

Wow...I don't think I'd like that very much. Current gym almost "owns you" when things are like that :/...
 
They don't even have to be bffs. The new coach wants to know what kind of gymnast they have coming in, they want to know if you are a cgm, do you owe money to the old gym, why are you leaving etc. As much as gymnastics is a sport for us and our children, its a business and a livelihood for coaches and gym owners. Gymhopping is frowned upon by many coaches and owners because it is confusing to the girls amongst other reasons. I would highly suggest that if you have an issues with your current gym that you bring it up with the coaches/owner, whomever is appropriate and then take it from there.
 
Seems like I almost always hear of a girl visiting another gym before they even announce they are leaving current gym. I bet the coaches always find out as well, before they want them to know. I also agree, it's stressful on the kids, too. It's just so complicated, since it is just such a small world in the gymnastics community.
 
Yup, the coaches will find out. Period. When I my DD switched gyms, she was only 5 and everyone already knew by the time I even made my decision. She was only 5 and it was broadcast news... The gym owners do in fact call each other.
 
While The Fellows was on pre-team, I made a phone call to another gym and left a message. Before I even got a call back from the other gym our HC had me in his office. They will find out, no question.
 
My daughter's best friend had left our gym to go to another gym across town. Several months later I picked my daughter's friend up from her gym for a sleepover. The next day there were rumors that my dd was going to the new gym as well....
 
Maybe I being naive or just oblivious to everything. But over a three year period, we've contacted, went for an evaluation, even had a private lesson with several gyms within a 30 min radius. We were offered spots on their teams and considered switching several times. It was so hard to give up the 5 min drive to her old gym. But this past summer, her old gym moved and the drive was as far as the other better gyms. So we committed to switch. It took months to switch because there were complications with the new gym. We finally switched after 5 months and when we gave my daughter's old gym notice, they were shocked. The head coach of one of the gyms we were considering is even friendly with my daughter's coaches. But it appears to me they kept things quiet per my request. So I feel it can be done discreetly.

That head coach mentioned by Algymmom in my opinion is immature and shows poor character and poor judgement. Her actions does no one any good. If she did not want to take the gymnast because of her friendship with the gymnast's current coach, she should have just said so and turned the gymnast away. I don't know what her motivations are but she does not seem trustworthy and I would not like a coach like that. I don't know but that just does not seem right.
 
I am assuming by reading previous posts that your child's gym, by hook or by crook will find out.
I am curious why this would matter.
 
I am curious why this would matter.

I think it would matter if you are not positive that you want to move to another gym or not. If you just want to see what else is out there "for future reference" it will matter greatly because it may affect what happens to your gymnast at the current gym and how she is treated. If you know that you are for-sure going to move gyms, it's probably less of an issue.

We looked at another gym almost 2 years ago when dd was at the age/level that, at our current gym, she would normally have been shunted to prep-op and given no chance at JO, though she had started gymnastics at age 9 and was close to ready for L5 a year later. The "other gym" was a mile from our house (big draw), but my main issue was our current gym not giving her a chance because of her "advanced age" :) After talking to them and almost deciding to definitely change, I spoke with the owner of our current gym to ask about plans for dd. She said that dd would be given a chance at JO L5 over the summer and see how she did. I've always taken that at face value, but after reading this thread, I'm wondering if my short visit to the "other gym" had anything to do with it! Now I am very glad we didn't leave. Our current gym has been wonderful with dd's anxiety issues, treating every gymnast as an individual, and the coaching has been wonderful (the JO program has much better coaching, part of the reason why I was adamant). She loves it and would never think of leaving, though I joke about "if you went to the other gym, we'd be home by now".
 
I think it would matter if you are not positive that you want to move to another gym or not. If you just want to see what else is out there "for future reference" it will matter greatly because it may affect what happens to your gymnast at the current gym and how she is treated. If you know that you are for-sure going to move gyms, it's probably less of an issue.

We looked at another gym almost 2 years ago when dd was at the age/level that, at our current gym, she would normally have been shunted to prep-op and given no chance at JO, though she had started gymnastics at age 9 and was close to ready for L5 a year later. The "other gym" was a mile from our house (big draw), but my main issue was our current gym not giving her a chance because of her "advanced age" :) After talking to them and almost deciding to definitely change, I spoke with the owner of our current gym to ask about plans for dd. She said that dd would be given a chance at JO L5 over the summer and see how she did. I've always taken that at face value, but after reading this thread, I'm wondering if my short visit to the "other gym" had anything to do with it! Now I am very glad we didn't leave. Our current gym has been wonderful with dd's anxiety issues, treating every gymnast as an individual, and the coaching has been wonderful (the JO program has much better coaching, part of the reason why I was adamant). She loves it and would never think of leaving, though I joke about "if you went to the other gym, we'd be home by now".


I see what you are saying, but the rebel in me just thinks that no matter what, I would pick the best fit for my girl, politics, gossip and opinions be damned!:p
 

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