Parents Balancing gymnastics with 3 other kids.....

[srsjbs]

This has probably been asked a gazillion times, so sorry in advance for that. How do you handle meet season if you have other children involved in other activities? My husband works a very weird shift work schedule, so while he is off half the month, half the time he isn't, including weekends. This year hasn't been an issue because thankfully my older two children were still young enough that their games happened on weeknights. And when something did conflict, DH was able to take work off to stay home with the other kids. But next year DS will be in middle school and football, basketball, etc. and will have games on Saturdays. I'm already stressing! I in no way want my other children to miss out on their stuff because their sister is a competitive gymnast. On the other hand I commit a LOT of money to gymnastics and there is no way I want her to be missing meets, plus if you are on the competitive team we are required to attend a minimum amount of meets the team is going to unless of injury/illness/etc. DH is already fully aware and willing to use all the vacation hours he needs to and hopefully that will be enough, but if its not.......

How do you all handle it?

 

[GymBeeMom]

This has probably been asked a gazillion times, so sorry in advance for that. How do you handle meet season if you have other children involved in other activities? My husband works a very weird shift work schedule, so while he is off half the month, half the time he isn't, including weekends. This year hasn't been an issue because thankfully my older two children were still young enough that their games happened on weeknights. And when something did conflict, DH was able to take work off to stay home with the other kids. But next year DS will be in middle school and football, basketball, etc. and will have games on Saturdays. I'm already stressing! I in no way want my other children to miss out on their stuff because their sister is a competitive gymnast. On the other hand I commit a LOT of money to gymnastics and there is no way I want her to be missing meets, plus if you are on the competitive team we are required to attend a minimum amount of meets the team is going to unless of injury/illness/etc. DH is already fully aware and willing to use all the vacation hours he needs to and hopefully that will be enough, but if its not.......

How do you all handle it?

It stinks to have to miss meets but my DD has had to go to meets without us on occasion. For out of town meets, she does team travel if we cannot attend. If it is a local meet, she could go with a teammate. Obviously we wish we could go to every meet, and she is only 8 so I want to be at everything, but realistically, we can't be everywhere at once. Sending your DD with a teammate or one of your other kids to their sport with a teammate may be a viable option. Good luck, I only have 2 kids and the balance is a challenge sometimes.

 

[cbifoja]

Would it be possible, if necessary, for your daughter to attend the meets with another family? It would mean that you would miss the meet but at least she could go and compete. Not sure if you'd feel comfortable doing that, but it would be a possibility on some occasions.

 

[cbifoja]

LOL... yeah, what GymBeeMom said.

Bella is an only and I seriously don't know how parents with multiples do it. We have a mom with three girls either on team or developmental track. We have another mom with two girls on different teams. Those poor women run themselves ragged!!!! So much respect for their energy level and commitment to their children.

 

[lhmom]

We have 2 kids and there are times that I've gone to the meet and my husband takes our son. A few times when he's had to work on the weekend, our son stays with his grandparents. So far, it's worked out ok. We've tried to make sure that our son has one of us there for his activities but I feel fortunate that he's not wanted to do a traveling team sport as well. If it were me, I'd be locating others in my group who are in the same situation and take turns helping each other with transportation as needed. Good luck!

 

[srsjbs]

Would it be possible, if necessary, for your daughter to attend the meets with another family? It would mean that you would miss the meet but at least she could go and compete. Not sure if you'd feel comfortable doing that, but it would be a possibility on some occasions.

Yes, I suppose that would be possible. She is only going to be 7 next year, but out of all 4 of my kids she would totally be the one willing to travel with someone else. I just worry, ya know? What if she gets hurt, or if the roads are bad, or if she needs me lol. Most of our meets are at least 4 hours away and require an overnight stay, which doesn't help matters. I am most definitely a worry wart! Maybe with almost a year to prepare myself for it, I will be ready to allow that

 

[krisnkids]

Funny question for me. I'm a single mom with 4 kids and their dad lives 7 hours away. So for me its me, me and me doing the driving and getting to the meets. First because its only me, the kids can only do one sport at a time. I wish I could let them do more but its just not feasible. So far I have had other parents in my son's other sports step up and help. Soon my oldest will be driving so that should help a bit. But for now its stressful.

 

[GymBee97]

That is one of the drawbacks to team gymnastics. When my son was on team my daughter could come with us or go to grandma's or do a sleepover at a friends house. When both were on team my husband went with my son and I went with my daughter when they had conflicting meet schedules (mostly because hubby couldn't do hair). There were times the coach took my son to meets or other families took him. Carpooling is a must for this sport especially if you have other kids. You are only one person and can only be in one place at a time. Sometimes too kids have to understand this. It doesn't mean you love one kid more than the other but you are doing what you have to do. Continue to try to alternate with your hubby to cover the games and meets. And anything you can't change your schedule for usually its easier to get the carpooling in place for the school teams.

Also keep in mind middle school is a big jump and you never know what your kids will stick with when they enter. even if you really want them to be on a team they may not make the cut at tryouts. I know alot of good athletes that parents thought thier kids would make the school teams and then didn't. Also many gymnasts end up not wanting to do team eventhough they seem to be great at it and interested now - a year from now things could change.

A year is along way off and things may change alot between now and then.

 

[gymgal]

we have 3 kids in different year round travel sports and it its a major pain but we make it work. DH and I split the futures most weekends. Rarely, we get to go to the same event. Dh always has the older ds because he coaches the team. So I usually get the other two, unless dh its off that weekend (which is rare because he also works weekends) The two older kids' sports take priority at this point but we try to make all 3 work as much as possible. This season, dd and youngest ds have several conflicting weekends. Thankfully ds (a swimmer) has 2 day meets so usually we can work it so he is able to go at least one day. Not ideal because he is missing out on events he really needs to compete for times but its the best we can do. He has some behavioral issues so we don't feel comfortable having him go without us. And with the potential injuries in gymnastics, I would never feel comfortable having dd go with someone else. (maybe a local meet but all of ours are 2+ hours away).

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[my4buffaloes]

I have 4 kids. We decided a long time ago that we would not make our other kids miss their own sports stuff for dd's gymnastics meets. So we don't all go. Dh and I trade off. And the other kids sometimes have get rides with people. Dh and I also rarely get to both go to the other kids things. Regardless of what the kids do, having 4 of them in sports and other activities means we just can't be at everything and they have had to get used to it. Carpools are great - especially to practices so that hopefully one of you will be at games.

 

[clrmom]

We usually try to split up, so that there is a parent at both kid's events. Occasionally there has been a conflict that has led to one child without a parent at their event (usually my son since he is the oldest) This happened once because dd had a large meet out of the area requiring an overnight stay and so we both went with her. My son had a basketball game, so another family on the team gave him a ride and let him stay at their house while we were gone. We always cross our fingers that dd will get the Sunday time slot, because ds never has events on Sunday, but this doesn't always work out.

My husband works a schedule that isn't always predictable and his hours can last well into the evening. This means that a lot of the time, I am dropping dd off at practice, going to watch ds' games for at least a little bit and then going back to pick up dd from practice and then heading back to get ds. Most of dds meets are close enough to not need staying over so far. This helps. Your situation of always needing to travel for the meets would add an extra scheduling problem.

Do you have family nearby or close friends that you would feel comfortable leaving your older son with while you went to your daughter's meet? Since your husband is home, but just at work, this might be the better option. At least you have a year to get things figured out. Good luck!

 

[emorymom]

Yes, I suppose that would be possible. She is only going to be 7 next year, but out of all 4 of my kids she would totally be the one willing to travel with someone else. I just worry, ya know? What if she gets hurt, or if the roads are bad, or if she needs me lol. Most of our meets are at least 4 hours away and require an overnight stay, which doesn't help matters. I am most definitely a worry wart! Maybe with almost a year to prepare myself for it, I will be ready to allow that

I would definitely try to get used to the idea. And to get your kids used to going with other people. I only have 2 kids but they are very busy and I homeschool them so for my own sanity, if one of my kids can get a ride with someone else for a weekend competition, that is what happens and I go do something with the other one or the other one just gets to have me around. Let's face it, gym meets are not that much parent/child interaction. They would like me to go with them sometimes but I tell them they are not doing this for me and if they are then we've got a major miscommunication!!!

Now if the meets are overnight then if she was not really close to another family, I'd try to get the other kids rides to their stuff for those meets and go with her ...

 

[bookworm]

She's only 7 (will be 8 next year when this all kicks in) so I would plan to travel with her when she had to be out of town overnight, and work your other kids sports around that (as it seems like they are local). I have 3 kids in sports and I have always travelled with my daughter to meets/Ranch unless it was an event that only the coach could go with her. I know people say to hook her up with another family but unless I was very friendly with that family, I wouldn't be comfortable sending my 8 year old off with them. You don't say how long you've been at your current gym but maybe in the next year or so you will get comfortable with some of the moms and feel ok with it but I think 8 is a little young to be travelling overnight without a parent.

I know a lot of people will say that "it's not fair to your other kids" (if you travel with her and don't go to the others' events) but you know what, life isn't fair sometimes and sometimes you have to make choices that just feel right for you as a parent and feel are safe for all. If you could enlist some of your local relatives to go with the kids whose sports are closer by, then that would be helpful too...

 

[Bajanswife]

I can relate - in 2.5 weeks I am putting my 10 year old DD on a flight to another country to compete with her best friend and best friend's mum. It will be hard, but I just don't have a choice. DD doesn't mind one bit, and I know that her best friend's mum will look after her well. I have just never sent my little one off without me before. I suppose it will get easier the more I have to do it.

 

[gymmomtoo]

As others have said--divide and conquer and rely on the help of friends and family. It's rare for Dh and I to be able to both attend a sporting event--we typically split up and last year with 3 kids in sports in the same season (club gymnastics, HS gymnastics and swimming), we had a few times when one child (unfortunately for her--always our oldest since she could drive herself!) was without a parent there entirely.

We had occasionally sent a child with a teammate to a local meet. Haven't had to do any overnight trips, but I trust most of the other gym families at her level to do that, if needed. My in-laws also have gone to meets, so they help out sometimes too. I would do everything I could to avoid telling another child they couldn't do something because of their sister's gymnastics--just seems to a set-up for resentment.

 

[GymGirl's Mom]

I think this is what I struggle with the most. I don't want to make the wants and needs of one child paramount over the health and happiness of the family. Gymnastics training schedules are tough. I try to carve out a few nights a week where we all eat as a family. DH and I alternate who takes whom where and have even had DD skip a practice on occasion to attend something for her sibling. Meets are tough, they take up a whole weekend- often. Thankfully meet season is short where we live (none of this two season stuff some other areas have). It's a balancing act for sure and it doesn't always work out perfectly.

 

[srsjbs]

I can relate - in 2.5 weeks I am putting my 10 year old DD on a flight to another country to compete with her best friend and best friend's mum. It will be hard, but I just don't have a choice. DD doesn't mind one bit, and I know that her best friend's mum will look after her well. I have just never sent my little one off without me before. I suppose it will get easier the more I have to do it.

Wow, good luck to you and your DD. I am sure she will have a great time