How do I know if she wants it or if I want it?

[ellabella]

Thanks for all the great opinions.

I'm still debating.

My daughter does already take dance one day a week for 45 minutes. It's actually "Creative Movement". They sing songs and act silly. She loves it, except for those days when I have to wake her up from her nap to go. Her class is at 4pm and she'll sleep later sometimes and it's horrible trying to get her up. She's grumpy if you have to wake her up. I usually make her go because she's fine once she gets there, but with her Saturday morning gym class I'll always let her sleep in if she doesn't wake up naturally. Sometimes she'll notice and sometimes she won't.

I guess I know she loves going. You guys are so right about her letting me know if she didn't want to be there. I just always figured that all 3 year olds love going to the gym. How could they not love jumping and climbing? But there are kids in her class that cry and won't participate.

She's not in daycare or school and she's an only child. I think it would probably be a lot if she was also going to school all day or daycare and then having to go to the gym. She's also very shy. She's been going to dance since last August and for the first time this past week she actually was talking to another girl in her class. I was so proud. I was thinking maybe going to the gym twice a week with the same kids might be good for her socially.

I must also admit that I'm slighty selfish and I hate getting up on Saturday mornings! It's my one day to sleep in and not have to get up and get dressed and go somewhere. The new class would be in the afternoon. The fitness gym is across the street and I'd have enough time to go to a Pilates class.

In response to the comments regarding talent not going away. I really don't see any talent. She can't do anything unusually well. She doesn't look any different than any other kid in her class ability wise. Her current class spans ages 3 - 5. Many of the older girls can do much more than her. So I don't really see any reason she was asked. The only thing she does well is that she is really focused. She does everything she is asked and waits her turn without speaking or moving. Most of the other kids can't stay still and are constantly running away or acting crazy. She's just shy. She's plenty crazy at home. She's also really small and built like a gymnast already. Perhaps that's the reason. She's almost 3 1/2 and weighs a whopping 24lbs and stands 35 inches. Her father is tiny as is his entire family. She definitely got his genes in that area. As a baby I weighed 23lbs when I was 6 months old. I noticed the thread about size, but couldn't post to it. We've definitely had to deal with doctors and lots of questions and concerns regarding her size. I finally had to drag my husband to an appointment and say "Look at him! This is her gene pool." My MIL is 4'10" and weighs less than 100 lbs.

I just picked the gym closest to our house. My husband coaches across town. I don't think they know he coaches. I'd certainly admit it if asked, but they don't have a high level team. It's a very new and small gym. They do have a team, but the highest is a level 9. No 10's or elites.

This has been quite the rambling post. Really I'm just putting my thoughts in to words as I contemplate the decision. I might see if they would let her go to the developmental class, but only once a week. I asked what the difference is and was told they spend more time on each event and that basically they are being groomed to be on team someday.

I do want her to do gymnastics. I think it would be great. My main concern is just making sure she wants it. Watching my husband coach and being part of that team has allowed me to see how fun gymnastics is for those girls. The thing I like the most about it is watching the girls and their friendships. I never had a lot of close girfriends as a teenager and the girls my husband coaches are like sisters. They are also such confident girls and they excel at everything they do. There are so many positives. I've also seen the really ugly crazy parents of course.

Thanks for listening!

[bogwoppit]

If you want to reply to posts in the parent forum you will need to join a group. If you click on your profile you can then choose to join a social group, I would suggest that of parent, then you can come right in and chat with us.

Nice to see you on the Chalkbucket.

[gym law mom]

At 3.5 she is just learning socialization skills and since she is the only child in the house right now, she does need contact with other children her own age. Shy ones at 3 can be little chatterboxes at 6! Her personality is just being formed. I really flinch when I hear of kids being directed to a sport based on body type. Just because they look like they have the perfect body for gym or whatever doesn't mean, that's what they want to do. I know my gymmie got alot of attention when she was 5-7 from skating coaches(older sis was the skater) because she was a good athlete and had " a skater's build." Thing is she didn't like it---called it boring. So, no more formal skating and she asked to do more gym---rest is history.

What ages would the girls be on the developmental team? Its already a stretch for her to be with 5yos in a rec class and that may be why she is rather shy. She really needs to be in classes with girls close to her own age/maturity. I think the compromise of 1x/week for developmental class would be something to try. If she seems to lose interest/focus, then switch back. Remember this is your child---not the gym's and you make the call.

No matter what group activity she ends up in: scoccer, dance, t-ball etc. she can still form those team relationships you see in the gym. You really won't know if gym is HER thing until she is much older and the desire/passion all come from her without any prompting from you.

[ellabella]

Unfortunately kids are chosen in gymnastics for their body types. We are lucky that here in the United States kids with any body can work hard at whatever sport they choose and excel. It's not like that in a lot of other countries. My husband was chosen in his country at a very young age because of this body type. I was giving that as a possible reason for her being selected because really she has no special aptitude for gymnastics at this point. If she wants to play basketball despite her height disadvantage I'd be the first to support her. I'd never make her do gymnastics just because she's a shorty.

I was very shy as a child and up into my teens. I have a feeling she's going to be the same way. My mother says her personality is just like mine as a child. Loud, hyper and stubborn at home, but super shy and obedient outside of the house.

Of course girls form bonds in all sports, but I was just pointing it out as one of the many positives of gymnastics.

I don't really have a problem with 3 hours of gymnastics a week. My nephew who is only 6 months older than my daughter played TBall this year. Some weeks he had something every night. Practice 2x and then 3 games. The next week he might only have 1 game, but I thought that was a little crazy. He's 4 and the games would sometimes start at 7:30pm. He had so much fun though. A few others on the team would seem to be melting down towards the end of the game, but he was always fine.

Just to be clear it wouldn't be developmental team, but a developmental class. I know all gyms have their own system. This gym has a dev class and then dev team. The ages would be similiar to her current class. I think this gym has 3-5 year olds grouped together because it is really a new gym and there just aren't that many people enrolled currently. Maturity wise she has no problem. That's the age label on her class, but I don't know the ages of all the children. I assume if they look bigger they are older, but who knows. She's the smallest in her dance class, but is actually the oldest.

Most kids as the get older will let you know what they have a passion for. It's not always the case though. Some kids will do things to please their parents and that's why I've tried to show no preference for gymnastics. She has been surrounded by gymnastics since birth. I actually found out I was pregnant at JO Nationals in 2004. She went to her first gymnastics meet at 2 weeks old. She slept through it of course! I was really curious how coaches walk that fine line with their children.

[Shawn]

I don't think there is anything wrong with your daughter knowing you love gymnastics nor that her father is a coach. She should see what your interests are. But that doesn't mean you can't let her make her own choices. And if you're really concerned, when she gets older, that she's only doing gym to please you, you can always offer her other choices and be equally enthusiastic.

[Granny Smith]

Quote:
Originally Posted by ellabella Unfortunately kids are chosen in gymnastics for their body types. We are lucky that here in the United States kids with any body can work hard at whatever sport they choose and excel. It's not like that in a lot of other countries. My husband was chosen in his country at a very young age because of this body type. I was giving that as a possible reason for her being selected because really she has no special aptitude for gymnastics at this point. If she wants to play basketball despite her height disadvantage I'd be the first to support her. I'd never make her do gymnastics just because she's a shorty.

i actually think she was probably picked because of something you said in a previous post - that she does whatever is asked of her and she can stand still and wait her turn. I think at her tender age of 3, that those are big factors.

Body type does help, but it seems that you dd is someone that they feel they can work with.

[Gym mum UK]

You know, I just dont think you should worry about it so much.

Kids in families where parents play musical instruments often are led towards music, kids in families where parents play certain sports are often led towards those sports and kids in families where parents are couch potatoes (do you know what that means or is that a UK expression?) ...

They learn by watching your every move; however a time comes when they will make up their own minds.

[rbw]

Quote:
Originally Posted by ellabella I know it's inevitable that she'll want to do gymnastics because she's surrounded by it, but I don't want to push her in any way. That's why I took her to a gym where no one would know her father coaches. I didn't want anyone to have any expectations for her.

Of course part of your job as a parent is to provide some direction for your child. One of your most important jobs as a parent is to choose an appropriate direction.

Anders Ericcson, one of the leading scholars of expert performance, suggests that parental support can be a critical factor in the development of expertise. For example, he has stressed that what most people conceptualize as "talent" is vastly overrated; it is continued, dedicated practice over many years that separates average or even high achievers from experts, and such dedicated practice is often fostered at an early age by devoted parents. Thus it isn't as important that your child have "talent" as that you believe that she does, so that you get her appropriate instruction and foster good work habits. As an example, Dr. Ericsson's studies suggest that the determining factor that separates members of the orchestra from soloists is only five extra hours of intensive practice each week for ten or so years.

With some reservations, it's reasonable to assume that this can apply to gymnastics--that's the essence of the "train long hours from a young age" paradigm that (I think) the Karolyi's brought to the US. My daughter, who now practices only about twelve hours each week, cannot equal the performance of the competitors at her level who have practiced twenty, twenty-four, or up to thirty-two hours each week for years. The parents of those girls enthusiastically support their daughters' involvement in the sport, and the results will and already do speak for themselves.

OTOH, I chose to limit my daughter's training hours; when her coach raised the possibility of training her for elite competition, I decided that I did want her to be elite--but academically. My wife and I happen to have trained in biochemistry and medicine rather than in gymnastics, but, rather like you, we're pointing but not pushing our daughter towards an exciting and fascinating path that we've already traveled. That's not a bad thing. My kid may not choose to pursue a career in medical research and your child may eventually opt out of gymnastics, but we can at least provide the support and communicate the hope and the expectation that our kids will someday be very good at something, regardless of what it is that they choose. That's what parents do.

[littlekateskate]

Umm. If your three year old doesnt like it you will know. She isnt going to do it for mommy and dad with a fake smile on her face at three.

My dd skated at least three hours a week at that age. Its really not that much. These kids arent in school yet and have nothing else to do. Its better then sitting in front of a tv!

My daughters going on five and some days i have to drag her off the ice after three hours! Its not contant lesson she is skating on her own. And I am sure if open gym was longer it would be the same thing. She is never ready to go after the end of her lesson.

Some kids just want to be "exercising/playing" and what a great thing for them. And to me the better part at this age is that they are being monitored in a lesson. We did private lessons at a young age so that someone was with my daughter and she had less chance of getting hurt. At three you cant really trust them on their own. So having a lesson in my opinion is just 'supervised play for them" at least that is my point of view of it. That is if they would be doing it anyway on their own.