4.5 year old trouble?

[DynamicMom]

Our dd has been in gymnastics since she was two. Lately going to the gym is either great or not, there is no in between. She was in a advanced preschool class but they are moving her up to a 5 year old intermediate next week. Here is the problem we are having. She can't stay focused, she loves to watch all the other kids! Her coach has to repeat herself all the time, and when she talks to her my dd is constantly moving! Also when it's her turn to do something she will either do it or sometimes just say I'm too tired! I see her do these skills at home all the time, but at the gym she acts like she has no clue what's going on. She is the youngest in the class and you can tell all the other kids are five going on six. I'll give you an example, the other day she was in class and her coach asked her to do back bend kick-overs, something she has been doing for about 6 months, and she replied her belly hurt, then she only wanted to jump on the tramp. I saw her coach trying to get her to do what she needed to do, and finally she told her to get off the floor if she wanted to waste her time. I totally agreed with this. I ask her if she wants to stop taking gymnastics and she cries and begs to let her keep doing it. Is this just an age thing? I don't want her to be the kid that the others are warned to stay away from. I'm just very frustrated and don't know what more to say to her? Has this happened to anyone else or can anyone give me some pointer on how to deal with it when it happens. I fell bad for the coach and embarrassed for me!

[bogwoppit]

Sounds like a typical 4.5 year old to me! Having worked around kids a lot, nanny and coach, I know that it is a tough age. Some kids that age can focus a lot, but mostly that age is ego based; as in... "if I want to do it I'll do it, if not I'll think of an excuse why I can't".

She is the youngest, so try not to compare her, developmentally there is a huge difference between 4.5 and 5 going on 6. Apples and oranges you know.

I would watch less first of all, even if you want/need to be there, sit away from her and don't watch, that way you won't have to be embarrassed as you won't know what is going on in the gym. Too much info is a bad thing!

It is the coaches problem, they have promoted her as they think she is ready, so let it be. If the coach isn't happy with her progress/attention/focus they will approach you to talk about it. But, that doesn't seem to be the case, does it?

[skfleming255]

I am going thru almost the same thing. My dd just turned 4 and was invited to begin level 2 on the team. She has worked with the level 2's for a few weeks now. Yesterday she started working with the level 1's. I asked the coach after practice if dd was going to be a level 1. She said, "For now." She went on to say that her listening skills needed to improve and she needs to become more focused, which I totally agree with (that is my daily dealings with dd). She said that she has all the skills she needs for level 2 and that she may move her back up sometime soon depending on whether or not she becomes more focused and a better listener. She likes to be involved in everything and doesn't like having to wait her turn. On floor and beam, she does pretty well b/c she stays active. On bars it is difficult b/c she has to stand in line and wait. She wanders around and misses her turn on bars, I guess b/c she is bored. I have another dd who is very dedicated to her gymnastics and loves team and works so hard. Somedays the younger dd says she wants to quit team and other days she says she loves it. When I told her they had moved her back down to level 1, she cried and said, "I want to be on team." I, of course, explained that she was still on team, but b/c she doesn't listen well and doesn't stay in line and do what she is supposed to, they moved her down.
I think at the age of 4, kids change their minds quite often (ie. I love it, I hate it). I am going to have my dd stick it out for a few more months to see how she does. Good luck with your situation.

[Gymnasticsgirl521]

My DD just turned 5 last month. I am VERY strict with her at the gym and her coach and I work as a team to keep her where she needs to be. Meaning if she is not working or focused or is she is upset she is sent out. I have told her that she will not waste her time, her coaches time or my time with not paying attention and putting forth 100% all the time. We have NEVER had to be sent out but I have seen others sent out for not staying focused. I have told DD if she is ever sent out she will leave the gym right then and have only one other chance to proove that she wants to be there. DD was the youngest on PRE-Team this year she was 4 all season training Level 3.

I have seen her try to get out of doing things and the rule is if you don't want to do it then you have to go and sit out in the waiting area. That has never had to happen. I have seen DD do things more half way than not doing it at all.

If it were me I would lay down the law so to speak and tell her she needs to proove to me that she wants to be there. That her attitude and performance is not doing just that. I know for a fact our coach asked all our girls who wanted to be there because some actions were speaking louder than words. DD tells me that one girl actually raised her hand that she didn't want to be there. DD was like this The coach had a conversation with the parent after practice.

I will admit that DD has had her hot and cold moments and it goes in shifts. I take those moments with a grain of salt. You have to remember their age and be supportive but like I said I have really laid down the law since DD was pretty much two years old. If she didn't have focus she would not be doing it. I know that sounds bad for that age but I don't like DD to waste anyones time. That is just me. Good luck and I hope things work out.

[Gymmonkeymomma]

We went thru a similar period with DD#2. She was and still is the youngest (now 7 yr old level 5) but at 4 turning 5, she was on the pre-team ... She always was extremely focused, but if she was asked to do something that either she didn't want to do or was afraid to try, she would say "but I'm just a little girl". The coaches never let her get away with that. Even now, she tries to pull that once in a while but the coaches say it doesn't matter how young or small you are, you CAN and will try!

[ellabella]

She's just a kid and gymnastics is supposed to be fun. I'm not saying she shouldn't have to follow directions, but I don't think any kid her age should have a coach say "She's wasting my time." It's not like she's training for the Olympics.

[Ingymmom]

Hi dynamicMom - welocme to the CB


How long is the class she is currently taking? How long will the new class be?

[littlekateskate]

My DD is the same age. There is a girl in her class like that and it drives me crazy!!! I would be honored that they have asked your daughter to be in the higher level class. However maybe she needs to go back to the younger class. Where the kids arent as focused.

As well once she is consitently behaving it could be her reward to move back up. It really can take away from the other kids if a kid is acting like this or a coach is constantly reminding a student to pay attention.

Good luck!

[flippymonkeysmom]

For us dd1 is the gymmie - but initially I thought if anything it would be dd2 - she was more natural and extremely flexible. The problem was - she loved learning to do things and flip around but she HATED the structure. She is a very creative child and her temperament just wasn't suited for competitive gymnastics. She's been asked to be on team and every time has turned it down. When she was that age I swore she was going to go into kindergarten and when they asked her name she would say Rachel Rachel Rachel - since we always had to say it at least three times to get her to listen. When she took gymnastics at that age - well lets just say focused is not the word I would use to describe her (even to this day). The good thing is she got a lot of basic strength, flexibility and coordination from doing classes which she has brought to all the other sports she has done. Now that she has found something she truly loves to do - she is able to stay more focused and she is really good and has fun. I would ask yourself what you are expecting and wanting for her since at her age she really isn't able to verbalize what she wants or would be best. Good luck.

[DynamicMom]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ingymmom Hi dynamicMom - welocme to the CB How long is the class she is currently taking? How long will the new class be?

Her current classes are an hour a piece and the new clases will be the same time frame.