Need Advise

medic3188 · #1 04-21-2007, 06:53 AM

For the last 4 years I have been a relatively quiet gym parent. As I have posted in other threads my daughter was asked to move up to level 4. She has been at the gym for extra hours observing and participating in the level 4 practice to try it out. She is also doing her other classes. My daughter was told by her couch that she needs her pullover. She struggles with this skill. My daughter started conditioning at home and doing pullovers on her chin up bar. This is spoted by myself for safety reasons.
So on Wednesday I was talking to the office person at the gym about why my daughter looked very sad. My daughters coach was with the level 4 team instead of her class because of a snow day we had earlier in the week. This women said well why is she upset. I told her that my daughter wanted to be with her coach and the level fours. She said that my daughter cant move up and that she is not ready. I told her that her coach said that she could. She told me that I must have misunderstood. She then went up to another coach and started discussing this. I went up to my daughters coach later and she said that it is a coaches decision. Well this woman continued this the next day going from coach to coach. This is the same woman that talks badly about other gymnasts and parents.
This woman also runs the holiday camps and has been just having the kids run around and not do any structured activities and gymnastics. In the past camps were very structured. So after talking to my daughters coach at length I decided that I would call the owner. I had to call her daughter in law to get her phone number and she said she would call the owner and have her call me.
Five hours go by and the owner calls me and asks me to meet her at the gym today to discuss this. Meanwhile I find out that she called my daughters coach and I do not know who else about this. But someone called my husband before I came home and said that everyone at the gym is in an uproar becuase I set up a meeting with the owner. Which she did not me. They also said I was a pushy parent who often yelled down to the floor and came down to the floor to talk about things with my daughter , which I never do. They also told him that I am getting other parents worked up, which I havent discussed this or anything with other parents. My husband got all mad at me and this person suggested that my husband should not let me go and watch. He will not tell me who called him. I do not know what to do.

**JBS** · #2 04-21-2007, 08:44 AM

Go and talk to the owner and the coach. The coach has every right to be present at the meeting and the owner did the right thing by involving the coach. I don't know why the whole gym knows about this situation, it is a personal matter. Someone has been talking too much.

This is very simple...find out what skills your daughter needs to move up. If the owner says she is not ready, then she is not ready. There is really no point in arguing as gyms are private establishments (they can do whatever they want).

If you are not getting the answer that you are looking for, check out a different gym. Don't tell anyone you are looking at different gyms.

You said that your husband is mad at you. You guys need to talk about this.

medic3188 · #3 04-21-2007, 11:26 AM

I did discuss this with the coach at lenth. The coach said that she needed her pullover and a consistant back hip circle, which she has. Bars is her weakest event. The coach and I have great communication.

**hammy** · #4 04-21-2007, 02:20 PM

As a coach I suggest talking to the coach about it--they are the one in charge of deciding who moves when and what not. I have many level 4's that are on the team that I coach that have trouble doing pullovers--it's a difficult skill because it requires strength. If that is the only skill holding her back, i personally do not see why they don't just go ahead and move her up. Putting her on the team might give her more motivation to try even harder than she is now (i'm not saying she isn't trying hard, i'm just saying with a little more motivation she'll begin thinking more positively about the skill).

Another suggestion is that it might be time for the coach to hold a coaches and parents meeting with the parents and coaches of the team. Talking bad about other parents is not something that builds a strong team; it will pull the team apart.

Good luck!!!! If the problem isn't solved soon I would suggest beginning to look at another gym in the area.

gym law mom · #5 04-21-2007, 04:18 PM

Not quite sure why someone who works in the office got into the middle of this whole situation. Sounds like someone really started to "stir the pot" and the problem is you and your daughter got caught in the middle.

I would definitely follow through on the meeting with the owner and the coach. Get the issue resolved with them. If they decide she's not ready, then as others have pointed out, that is the end--for now. I would ask if the problem is JUST the back pullover or do they see a lack of strength in other areas that they feel would hold her back on other Level 4 skills?

I just don't get why a whole gym is turned upside down and an upsetting phone call made to your home over whether 1 girl should move up to Level 4. Even if they do move her up, I would be leary about keeping my child there long term. You can easily check out other gyms over the next few mos.---just find out when their Level 4s are practicing. Sitting around some other parents you would hear alot about that gym and get some idea if another gym would be a better fit.

Let us know what happens!

**JBS** · #6 04-21-2007, 07:05 PM


Quote:
Originally Posted by medic3188 So after talking to my daughters coach at length I decided that I would call the owner.

What was the original call to the owner for? Was it about your daughter or the office employee?

medic3188 · #7 04-21-2007, 08:41 PM

I called about both. I just got back from the gym. They had an open gym and the owner pulled me aside after I got my kids. He said that someone told him that I wanted my DD to move up to level 5. How crazy he could not understand how this happened. I explained everything to him and he told me that they are going to test the kids and that he does not think that my dd will have any problem. I told him that I am very frustrated with this office person for spreading rumors. Perhaps I should drop it, my child is the most important thing.

**JBS** · #8 04-21-2007, 09:49 PM

Sounds like it will all work itself out fine.

You have voiced your concern about the employee...that is all you can do. Owners have a lot to think about. If others are complaining about this employee also, then I'm sure something will be done.

Blackie6 · #9 04-22-2007, 09:34 AM

YIKES! What a mess! Just wanted to say my daughter (6) was not doing consistant pull-overs on pre-team either. And, was also having problems with bridge kick-overs. I also thought these skills were holding her back, but they took her anyway. She started in Feb and I can't tell you how many skills she's aquired since then. She still gets a little tired after doing alot of pull-overs if they are working on bars, but all the strengthening training has turned her into a flip-flop machine! Her handstands are 100 times better too. I think it's hard to really judge them when they are in these pre-team classes, once given the opportunity, extra hours, and being with more expreienced girls, many seem to blossom!

I hope you can get it all sorted out between the owner & the coach. It sounds like the office person is a busy-buddy. IMHO it wasn't very professional to make these sh%! stirring phone calls. I try to be a quiet gym parent too and I would be very upset if this drama happened to me when it wasn't true. Good Luck!

littlegymchampsmom · #10 04-22-2007, 09:43 AM

medic - it sounds like one conversation got blown up and out of proportion... I hate to say it but I see these kinds of MIS-communications happening WAY too much for various reasons. Hopefully you feel it is straightened out and while I understand JBS's view (from a club manager's perspective) - I would be a little more upset about gossipy office staff (from a parents perspective). If you asked her to ask around that would be one thing... I am curious about them calling your husband and involving him though??? This is most disturbing to me, because it only leads to even MORE mis-communication.

If they called at home for you they simply should have left a message for you to call back. If they called him at work or via a cell # to discuss w/him. I would seriously question the professionalism at that gym. Remember you are still the customer paying for a service.

How long has your dd been on the pre-team?