Replacement coach

[Ingymmom]

Our coaches went on a planned (a yr in advance) vacation for 2 weeks, and our gym owner had a replacement coach come in from the outside. A high school coach. He watched a couple of practices and was given a list of exercises from the older team girls, but decided that instead he would let the girls have open gym and only work on brand new skills. Our practices went from 3 hours to 4 hours for this "conditioning" time. I stayed because my little one was nervous about a new coach coming in, and well, I don't know him - we were never introduced. I don't know his credentials, only that he says he has 35 years of coaching experience. By day 3, I pulled him aside (awat from the girls) and asked if he was planning on doing a little more conditioing that day - he basically snapped at me that he was just thrown into this and this would be his last day since the parents were obvioulsly not happy - well I was not happy, but I was mostly concerned about the safety of the our girls which is why I said anything. We were told before to never go to the owner with problems, to go straight to the coach or booster club depending on problem, so I went to the coach - very nicely and even told him the girls were having fun, I was just worried about lack of warm-ups & conditioning/flexibility. I offered to help, but since only 4 girls (out of 18) even bothered to come that day well.... I guess that speaks for itself. He was very offended and yelled his credentials at me & snapped I should write a list of what I want my dtr to do. I said this is not about my dtr, and I am not a coach. Just a concerned parent that cares about all of these girls. He said he planned on more conditioning that day, problem solved - I just knew we would not be back, it just did not feel right to me - this is the short story of bad falls and unsupervised open gym. From a parent perspective, should I have gone straight to the owner with any concerns, or just not bothered to come for 2 weeks? The gym owner then yelled at me for talking to the coach, and said I should have come to her. She said I am not a coach so I should not have a say so in what he did with the girls? HUH??? we were told not to come to her, now we were supposed to. I am confused, and have NEVER had a single complaint about our coaches. I trust them completely. This man, I just did not trust, he admittedly did not know what to do with the girls for 4 hours! I wonder if I should have handled it differently?

[Blackie6]

No words of wisdom for you ingymmom, just wanted to say it sounds like your words with the coach was the topping on the cake. And, it seems like you were not the only upset mom/gymnast by his (and the owners) reaction. However, as a parent, I would not want to know that this was the best they could do while a coach was on vacation that was planned well in advance. I pay a tuition that provides a service & instruction to my child training on a team..not an open gym that doesn't seem supervised. I would be PO'd too. I am a whimp though, I probably would not have said anything, but if the situation was the way you described than I would probably haul off an e-mail when I got home to the owner. I would not want my dd to miss 2 weeks of gym, but I would not want to pay a hefty tuition for open gym either...something needed to be said, you just got the "heat" because you were the one to speak up. I admire people like you !

[Megley]

I think you handled it perfectly appropriately. You did exactly what I would have done, which is to speak to the coach first before bothering the owner about it. No doubt, had you gone to the owner first, she would have complained about your not talking to the coach. This is a no-win situation for you because it sounds like these folks are extremely vested in defending themselves and are not willing to look objectively at what is happening. Nor do they seem to have the best interests of the girls at heart here. This situation is just untenable and the owner and coach should realize that when only 4 out of 18 gymnasts show up! I wish I could tell you what the right thing to do is but that is ultimately up to you. I did want to let you know that I think you acted perfectly appropriately. If it is only another week before your regular coaches return, you might just want to keep your daughter out of gym and give her a short "vacation." Good luck!

Meg

[Ingymmom]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackie6 No words of wisdom for you ingymmom, just wanted to say it sounds like your words with the coach was the topping on the cake. And, it seems like you were not the only upset mom/gymnast by his (and the owners) reaction. However, as a parent, I would not want to know that this was the best they could do while a coach was on vacation that was planned well in advance. I pay a tuition that provides a service & instruction to my child training on a team..not an open gym that doesn't seem supervised. I would be PO'd too. I am a whimp though, I probably would not have said anything, but if the situation was the way you described than I would probably haul off an e-mail when I got home to the owner. I would not want my dd to miss 2 weeks of gym, but I would not want to pay a hefty tuition for open gym either...something needed to be said, you just got the "heat" because you were the one to speak up. I admire people like you !

I do not regret saying anything at all, & I definetely was not the only parent that expressed concern - but I got a great BIG lesson in politics S - oh my goodness. that coach quit, it got blamed on me & the rest I will someday laugh about I am told tx so much for your comment - I agree about staying quiet - this is how I would usually be as well, but it was a safety issue I was concerned about & these girls losing so much before competition - not even for my dd, because when we left early that day, I intended to just stay away until our coaches returned anyway. GREAT BIG LONG STORY SHORT - if you are happy with your regular coaches in comp gymnastics - quiet is best tx for the comment - nic

[Ingymmom]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Megley I think you handled it perfectly appropriately. You did exactly what I would have done, which is to speak to the coach first before bothering the owner about it. No doubt, had you gone to the owner first, she would have complained about your not talking to the coach. This is a no-win situation for you because it sounds like these folks are extremely vested in defending themselves and are not willing to look objectively at what is happening. Nor do they seem to have the best interests of the girls at heart here. This situation is just untenable and the owner and coach should realize that when only 4 out of 18 gymnasts show up! I wish I could tell you what the right thing to do is but that is ultimately up to you. I did want to let you know that I think you acted perfectly appropriately. If it is only another week before your regular coaches return, you might just want to keep your daughter out of gym and give her a short "vacation." Good luck! Meg

Exactly meg, it just seemed like proper protocal to me. In football, we would not go to the HLA before talking to a coach, we would go to the coach if we have a concern. It would have been a lose, lose situation in this case, which has been proven over and over again. Our gym has a big power issue - what we need is some good management. The 2nd team QUIT 5 months ago - hmmm wonder why??? LOL . We WILL be taking a 2 week vacation - get ready for school and deal with our football schedule until the coaches return tx again for your help - nic

ps hope you guys are doing well

[gym law mom]

Ingy---a few things jumped out at me as being rather unusual regarding this "sub coach." 1st is the timing of vacations for the regular coaches. Most programs are gearing up for their meet seasons in Aug. and that is not the time most coaches would want to take a 2 week break. If they were given no other option, then it would make sense to stagger the vacations so one team coach was there and could run practices. I have to say I've never heard of bringing in some coach nobody knew to run team practices for 2 wks. and you are paying a king's ransom in tuition for this?? Super bad management.

When the regular coaches get back, they're going to find most of their kids haven't been at practice much in 2 weeks, parents are steamed over what practice was offered etc. Thing is some parents will get sick of this whole thing realizing the coaches have no control and some kids will quit or go elsewhere and then it will be the coaches. Just sounds like the owner doesn't have much understanding of how a competitive program is run and makes silly decisions.

[Ingymmom]

GLM, I agree on many accounts with what you said - timing, bad management etc. I actually have to admit here, that I have never seen management any worse, in any business - the fact that this year - the same as last year the gymnastics team cut completely in half really says a great deal (especially since it had nothing to do with the coaches)... we are out as well, in fact kicked out - based on a great big fat power trip - and a very silly minded gym owner... boy oh boy, the coaches are NOT going to be happy when they return. I think for them and the way that they feel there really is no great time to go - they would rather stay, and certainly not have an outsider come in, they try to time their schedule with school a little is my feeling. I am not the 1st & won't be the last person this has happened to, I think they actually believe if they make an example out of everyone that has a voice (unless it is in their favor of course) people will be too afraid to speak.. which for some has been the case at least for now.

I have learned a great deal from this situation though - one big lesson, is that if gym ever has a sub coach again. I will ask for resume, background check, etc - heck I did not even know this coaches name prior to (a big mistake on my part). I was a little too naive and trusting.

After all of this the gym did what they should have done in the 1st place - had one of the coaches already in the gym and familiar w/the program hold an ONLY conditioning class, that follows the coaches guidelines... figures... I am still debating the best way to handle the situation from here. I feel it is not closed, and the ridiculousness of it just floors me. I can not even began to explain just how ridiculous it got, but already laughing a little already tx again

[Carmansunshine]

Do you mean you have been kicked out of the gym?? For raising a concern like that? Or is it just that you have been asked not to come until your regular coaches come back?

[Ingymmom]

yep, she said we were not welcome back to the gym in her usual over-emotional way.... I asked if she wanted my side, & the truth, she said nope... For this O it is all about power. She would not care if she lost her entire business as long as she has the last word. I could tell you horror stories of things that have happened to people in our gym - but the coaches are incredible, and you can come to them with anything so it was worth the effort to this point.


..... ahhh but then I get the phone call, that dd can come back to the gym if... go figure, not sure if it is worth the energy anymore, so we are still on the fence here.

[Carmansunshine]

Do they teach owners to act like that because it sounds like what just happened to me and my dds. I was totally unprepared though because no other parents stay at that gym so I didn't know the owner was like that. (We were only ther for 5 months and she seemed so normal)