My dd may quit gymnastics

[midwestgymmom]

My dd(9 and a half)is a level 4 she was put in a pre level 5 group this summer after competing the last 2 yrs as a LV 4. She was sick of LV 4 and happy to be possibly moving up. She found out she got put in a group with the new LV 4s and that she will probably repeat 4 again. She is so disappointed and feels like a failure. I asked her if she wanted to quit and she said that she loves gymnastics but she will not do level 4 again. She doesnt even want to go to practice anymore and everytime she goes she stares at her regular group longingly watching them do the things she did all summer. I have decided that I will let her finish the month out but will not push her to go since she is upset for days. I feel so bad for her

[ccwain]

Aw...what a tough situation. I think you are making the right choice by giving it a bit of time and then letting her decide...Hope it all works out.

[gym law mom]

Has your dd or you been given any reason why the coaches want her to stay as a L4? I can see from her point of view that it is probably very boring to be doing routines and skills she has done for over 2 yrs.

Might be worth a talk with the coach to get their take on her skills at this time and then talk with her about it. If she's miserable for days then she might need a little break to just think things over. Hope you get some answers that help you lead her in the right direction.

[bogwoppit]

Is there any way that the coaches would let her train level 5 and compete the events she is ready for. Two years at level four would probably drive anyone nuts, I empathise with your DD. It is one of the problems with the USAG JO system, no individuality and the only way to change is up or out.

I would encourage her to work until the end of the month, but behind the scenes I would be trying to find either a gym that does not do level 4, so therefore she would have to train level 5. Or, I would hope for a coach with sopme sympathy.

I do feel for you, nothing worse than seeing a motivated child frustrated.

[midwestgymmom]

Quote:
Originally Posted by ccwain Aw...what a tough situation. I think you are making the right choice by giving it a bit of time and then letting her decide...Hope it all works out.

Thank you!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by gym law mom Has your dd or you been given any reason why the coaches want her to stay as a L4? I can see from her point of view that it is probably very boring to be doing routines and skills she has done for over 2 yrs. Might be worth a talk with the coach to get their take on her skills at this time and then talk with her about it. If she's miserable for days then she might need a little break to just think things over. Hope you get some answers that help you lead her in the right direction.

The coaches know she's unhappy. The reasons I got were that she needs to be with her own age group and that she is immature (she has ADHD so she seems imature). Thank you it's so hard on both of us. I'm at a loss

Quote:
Originally Posted by bogwoppit Is there any way that the coaches would let her train level 5 and compete the events she is ready for. Two years at level four would probably drive anyone nuts, I empathise with your DD. It is one of the problems with the USAG JO system, no individuality and the only way to change is up or out. I would encourage her to work until the end of the month, but behind the scenes I would be trying to find either a gym that does not do level 4, so therefore she would have to train level 5. Or, I would hope for a coach with sopme sympathy. I do feel for you, nothing worse than seeing a motivated child frustrated.

Thanks, there is no other gym in our area the next closest one is 2 hrs away unfortunately as it is we drive 45 minutes. I dont think they would let her do partial level 5

[Blackie6]

This is my daughter's first year and it is exciting to actually "learn" a routine. Next year I am sure she will do it again (she's only 6) and concentrate on perfecting it. Past 2 years, I could see anyone being bored to tears with the thoughts of having to do it again. I have no words of wisdom but I agree with what some of the others have mentioned about talking to the coaches. I always thought level 4 was considered "pre-team" gymnastics. If she was already working on L5 skills why not at least let her try with her friends & teamates and let her be challenged. Wish you lots of luck with whatever your daughter chooses. Who knows she may decide that swiping all the medals and being #1 level 4 is worth staying.

[Ingymmom]

MGM, I know that many gyms in the midwest have some strict policies about "moving up", and I am sure it can be frustrating for your dd at the idea of competing 4 again.... I wonder if maybe her gym teaches above the level she is competing? She may be able to do another level at 4, but in the meantime be working on L5 & 6 skills? I see so many gymnasts that compete one or 2 levels lower then what they are really capable of because of age, exp etc... I am sure that if she continues to work hard they would not hold her back from advancing any skills she is ready for.

Team requires that patience where you know you could already be doing more, but the coaches hold back for one reason or another... sometimes they teach that next skill through a progression that you don't even see coming, then they say to try the next level of the skill, and bamm, the gymnast can just do it... anyway, might be worth talking to the coach to see what she can do to start training up if she decides to repeat L4... - nic

[Carmansunshine]

I am really sorry to hear your dd frustration. I have no words of wisdom. Did you tell your coach the level of frustration your dd is feeling? Did you mention she was considering quiting? As you know I have alot of experience with this particular problem. (My dd was told there was no chance for her to make team at one gym because she was to big, after she workd really hard to gain all her strength back and practiced for hours at home to break bad habits.) Even if you only have the evaluation done at least you'll know if she truely needs to do lv4 again. Also without being too personal how did she score last year? If she does do level 4 again maybe you could stress the fact that she has a good chance of coming in first alot. I know you don't have much choice as to what gym to go to but if you can swing it try the gym that is 2hr. away. (I know I thought I was crazy and really had no idea how bad my dd was. She was working hr hardest and kept getting better and better, but the coach kept saying she is not ready for team, so she would work harder then the coach would say she was not coachable(the coach said she wouldn't make correction, but I stayed to watch and she made corrections when anyone told her to) after I kept questioning when she would be ready to rejoin the team the coach finaly told us she thought my dd was to big to be competitive gymnast.) Basically What I am tryng to say is sometimes coaches wont give you the real reason your child isn't moving on and sometimes you need a second opinion from someone who doesn't have preconceived thoughts of your child. Well good luck to you both! Tell her if she ever wants to chat with my dd about gynastics give us a shout and I set up a IM link for them.

[midwestgymmom]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackie6 Wish you lots of luck with whatever your daughter chooses. Who knows she may decide that swiping all the medals and being #1 level 4 is worth staying.

Thank you, I think she would do well as Lvl 4 again too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Carmansunshine I am really sorry to hear your dd frustration. I have no words of wisdom. Did you tell your coach the level of frustration your dd is feeling? Did you mention she was considering quiting? As you know I have alot of experience with this particular problem. (My dd was told there was no chance for her to make team at one gym because she was to big, after she workd really hard to gain all her strength back and practiced for hours at home to break bad habits.) Even if you only have the evaluation done at least you'll know if she truely needs to do lv4 again. Also without being too personal how did she score last year? If she does do level 4 again maybe you could stress the fact that she has a good chance of coming in first alot. I know you don't have much choice as to what gym to go to but if you can swing it try the gym that is 2hr. away. (I know I thought I was crazy and really had no idea how bad my dd was. She was working hr hardest and kept getting better and better, but the coach kept saying she is not ready for team, so she would work harder then the coach would say she was not coachable(the coach said she wouldn't make correction, but I stayed to watch and she made corrections when anyone told her to) after I kept questioning when she would be ready to rejoin the team the coach finaly told us she thought my dd was to big to be competitive gymnast.) Basically What I am tryng to say is sometimes coaches wont give you the real reason your child isn't moving on and sometimes you need a second opinion from someone who doesn't have preconceived thoughts of your child. Well good luck to you both! Tell her if she ever wants to chat with my dd about gynastics give us a shout and I set up a IM link for them.

Thanks D!!!
She has decided to continue and see how it goes I have decided to let her set the pace as to how often she wants to praactice. The coaches have started breaking the group up more to help the new level 4s learn from the old level 4's and they have been letting her practice the things she worked on this summer so for now she's okay. I think thats all she wants really is to be challenged I think there is quite a few girls in her group that will at least start the season as 4's possibly. It's cute seeing all the new 4's learning the routines it makes me think of how far she's come in the last few yrs.

[Rainee100]

My 11 year old daughter is in a similar situation. They told her she moved up, ordered her grips, then one coach approached me and said she wasn't ready because she didn't have her kip. They moved her back to 4 and completely blew the wind out of her sails. She didn't quit, but she's bored and I can see a she kind of "lost her mojo". The saddist part was they moved her best friend up and some others that were the same age. Now she's going to be 12 in a few weeks and all the other level 4's are 6-9 years old. I feel bad for her, but I keep telling her to go out there, and take all the first places. I'm hoping she'll re-ignite her passion when we start meets in Nov.