Team at 5 1/2?

[momof5]

rbw- I think that most of us parents decide to let our children commit to the long hours is because of love. We let our children do this because we love them and they have chosen to love this crazy sport. It is true that the dedication that this sport requires might at some point require or chilren to give something up. At that point they must decide if gymnastics is more important then what they are willing to give up.

In regard to burnout, some kids quit because they decide." I have had enough of this being the way I spend most of my time" This simply means they are changing what they love. They come to a point where they want other things more then they want gymnastics. I think that's perfectly normal. It happens with all activities kids are in. It even happens in sports that require a much less of a time commitment. If you look on most sport teams at the high school level you will see that there are many more Freshmen and Sophmores involved then Jrs. and Sr. I ran cross country in high school freshmen through Jr year. It had a minimal commitment. 2 hrs a day for 3 months. That all. I decided that I would rather work my Sr. year and earn money then run cross country. Money was more important to me at the time. I didn't quit because I was "burned out" but because my priorities changed.

There are always going to be examples of people that feel that they wasted their childhood on their activity. But I don't think that that's how most people that train intensly feel. I think most people who do their activity intensely because they are driven to do it and not force to, presured to, or guilted to have no regrets. My husband was a competive swimmer growning up. Through jr high and high school he trained anywhere from 24 to 28 hrs a week. He was very upset that when he started college the NCAA restricted the amount of hrs athletes can train to 20 hrs. He did have to give up a lot to keep up this schedule but he was willing to do it because he loved swimming more then the other options. He gave up late nights hanging out with friends so that he could be in bed at 9 pm. He said he never kept a girlfriend very long beause they always broke up with him because he had very little time for them. Swimming was more important then the girl. He even swam competiviely for a year after college because he loved it so much that he couldn't give it up. He has no regrets for the lost hours that he spent training. He loved it so much he still hasn't given it up. He is now a full time college swim coach. Hanging out with him and his college buddies I never hear any regret for the time spent on what their passion was. Who cares it all that time spent is never used in adult life. They had fun while they were doing it in the moment. I don't care if my child never does a backhandspring after she quits gymnastics. I don't think it matters. What matters is that she is loving it right now. An activity is not more worth while just because it can be continued as an adult.

I have heard that its easier to teach the big tricks to younger girls and that its ideal to teach most of the hard and scary stuff before kids reach the age of 11 or 12. Appartently this is the time when fear and mental blocks set in so the more stuff they can do before this age the easier it will be to coach the teenager. The level 4's at our gym train 7 hrs a week. I like that. She loves gymnastics but I am not sure at this point in her life that she would want to train more then that because she loves to play barbies and can play them for hours a day. And I am not sure how I could juggle more with my 5 kids. But at some point if she wants to get better and thinks that more hours is the way to go then I will support it whole heartily because its her passion, and I would let her decide how far she wants to take it. And if she decided tomorrow that she quitting gymnastics because she wants to be an astronaut then I would probably sign her up for space camp.

[rbw]

Thanks for your replies.

Catesmom, I’m actually reasonably familiar with the competitive gymnastics scene: I happen to live in a university town with a Division I gymnastics team (and a few miles from the home of a rival college team), and I’ve been watching my little one’s practices since she started in a delightful rec class just days after her third birthday; seven years later she’s a happy Level 8, and she and I are deeper into gymnastics than I’d ever imagined we’d be . . . .

I accept that gymnastics can help girls to develop a wide variety of skills; my daughter has benefited from the disciplined study of gymnastics—but frankly those benefits could also be derived from a variety of other pursuits. My purpose in referencing the extreme example of the "Somalia" choice was just this: Given that you can’t do everything, how do you choose what to pursue, and how do you ensure that by making the attractive choice you’re not missing something that could actually be much more important? If our daughters have only so many hours in the week, and if (as I tried to suggest earlier by mentioning Dr. Ericsson’s work in expert performance) expertise is developed by hours of dedicated practice, how do you decide how to direct your child if she needs to become truly expert in something other than gymnastics? The paradigm shift in gymnastics training introduced by the Karolyi’s and some of their contemporary Eastern Bloc coaches clearly established that more training and an earlier start to training can be helpful and perhaps almost essential—that’s why Chinese girls as young as four train 36 hours a week—but I suspect that the best way to train as a gymnast may not be the best way to train for a balanced life; such a regimen might be great for those successful young athletes who grow up to become coaches, but most kids are going to need different skills.

I accept that my daughter would be a more successful gymnast if she devoted more hours to the sport; we understand that the girls who practice eight or ten more hours each week than she spends in the gym are likely to leave her in the dust at regionals. It's a bit of a mantra for us: Writers write, mathematicians do math (and gymnasts do gymnastics). My family does appreciate athletics (I was still racing—albeit ever more slowly—as a cyclist past 30, and my wife was a Division I athlete); however, we’re trying to find a balance. It happens that my dd was injured last year; she was able to begin her return to practice after a four month layoff just as the other girls had their first meet of the season. Although she managed to regain some strength and learn her skills and her routines in time to turn in a creditable performance at the state meet, she was well behind some children who were rewarded for the extra hours they’d dedicated to practice. I was ready for that: during the long drive home I handed her a little trophy inscribed with her name and with the phrase “Outstanding Student Athlete.” Our choice of her practice hours might indicate where in that phrase we place the emphasis. Each gym parent makes that choice: You can’t do everything.

[Tuduri]

"Given that you can’t do everything, how do you choose what to pursue, and how do you ensure that by making the attractive choice you’re not missing something that could actually be much more important? If our daughters have only so many hours in the week, and if (as I tried to suggest earlier by mentioning Dr. Ericsson’s work in expert performance) expertise is developed by hours of dedicated practice, how do you decide how to direct your child if she needs to become truly expert in something other than gymnastics? .....I was ready for that: during the long drive home I handed her a little trophy inscribed with her name and with the phrase “Outstanding Student Athlete.” Our choice of her practice hours might indicate where in that phrase we place the emphasis. Each gym parent makes that choice: You can’t do everything"


Dear rbw:

All of the level eight parents of my daughter's teammates, place an emphasis on their daughter's academics before gymnastics. I know of no one who prefers to see their daughter do well in gymnastics at the expense of poor academic performance. I see every one of my daughter's teammates doing homework before their class begins or, if necessary, taking time off towards the end of practice to finish their homework. While they have chosen to spend 20 plus hours in the gym, they all have maintained a high degree of academic success. My own daughter does 25 hours a week in the gym, is a straight A student and cares a lot about starving children in Somalia. We contribute to charities which help impoverished children around the world. My daughter is 11 years of age and neither she nor myself and her mom know whether she will be doctor, diplomat, mathmatician or even a philosopher. In the meantime, she will continue to grow and develop as a gymnast and individual, with an open mind and a burgeoning curiosity for life. And through this continuing process of growth, evaluation and discovery, she and her parents will decide what she will specialize in as an adult.

But the above, I think, is not unusual for other gymnastics parents. While it may be easy to second guess the decisions we've made in our childrens' lives, as parents we can only attempt to provide our girls with a broad range of options and experiences that we deem to be appropriate. All of the parents on my daughter's team strive to provide their dd a well rounded life experience. All of the girls on the team do other activities like ice skating, dancing, martial arts, chess, fine arts, acting, etc,etc. All are socially conscious, giving to charities, volunteering, and being involved in civic and social life. All emphasize academic excellence.

No, we can't do everything, but one does the best one can. The gymnastics families I know haven't limited their daughters from getting involved in other 'more important' aspects of life by robbing them of their limited time doing mind numbing gymnastics practices during all their free hours. The fact that level fives outnumber level tens by a factor of 10 to 1 demonstrates that most girls in gymnastics go on to other fields of interest or are simply not physcially capable of going higher. They aren't being enslaved to continue a sport they don't love or can't continue to perform. They are chosing other things in life which they and their parents perceive as more important.

While my own daughter had an exceptional level seven season, even after recovering from an injury, I was more proud of her for being a straight A student and scoring in the 90th plus percentile on state academic testing. That was my priority. But, then again, that was the same priority of her teammates parents and, I would guess, most gymnastics families.

Tuduri

[priljune]

My youngest began team when she was 5 at L4 but didn't compete til she was six... a little less than a year after being put on team. And by then they were practicing 15 hours a week. We started out at 9 hrs. and before we knew it we were going 15. She's 9 now and still lovin it. She took a year to compete in AAU and has now returned at L5 for this season.

[rbw]

Thanks for your thoughtful reply, Tudori. I think it illustrates the point that's been on my mind. With only so many hours available for gym and studies each week, our kids come down in different places in the academic-emphasis to gymnastics-emphasis continuum, but both children and their parents seem to be content.

BTW, your daughter may have helped my daughter a bit: I videotaped your child's beautiful floor routine at the state meet and later showed it to my kid--perhaps it will help her to learn to dance.

[catesmom]

Tudori, thanks again for the great reply and thoughtful posting. I guess that you said it all, but I wanted to second your opinion from my experience. All the gym families at our gym put studies first. Almost every night one girl or another is upstairs during practice working on important homework, or studying for a test, waiting for their carpool. I am always amazed that these girls basically do this on their own, with no parents watching.

My own daughter is on honor roll and in 7th grade testing at a freshman level. Her assignments are always done, and on time. She knows that this is the "personal cost" to her for being able to participate in gymnastics. She doesn't miss alot, as I said in earlier post, it is important to me that she gets to do the same things as the other girls in class. She attends dances, does Girl Scouts, etc., I am glad that I am able to allow her to do as many things as she does.

Another possible thread for another day could be what do gymnastics families give up to support the sport. By this I mean time and energy, not money.

[JBS]

As a parent with a 2 year old and a 6 month old, I don't need to stress myself out about any of this yet...but what a great conversation.

Just wanted to remind everyone that you can email any thread in The Chalk Bucket to a friend by using the "thread tools" button at the top of every thread.