Frustration!

gymnellie · #1 01-31-2008, 08:47 AM

I'm really just venting and wondering if I am wrong for being mad! Here's what happened at the gym last night.

First, let me explain that on Monday when the dr. released dd to go back to the gym, I talked to the coach and told him that the dr. said to ease back into it, but if her knee didn't hurt to let her do whatever she thought she could do. I also told the coach that she(dd) would probably ask for a spot on most of the skills because she was nervous and scared that her knee was going to hurt. He said that was fine, that they would spot her on anything that she asked for a spot for. Well, last night she was doing her beam routine, which contains a bwo/bwo. Before she hurt her knee she was doing them great. Even after she hurt her knee and competed on a hurt knee, she received a 9.125 on beam at the only competition that she has done this year. She was just standing there last night when it came to the part where she does her bwo/bwo and one of the female coaches asked her why she was just standing there and she(dd) asked if the coach could just stand there(didn't really ask for a spot, just someone to stand there) and the coach said, " no, I will not spot you, because I won't spot you at the competition and I don't care if you do it or not!" OMG, I was very irate! She has not done beam in 3 months and you won't spot her! So the coach takes out her bwo/bwo and puts cartwheels in instead. My daughter doesn't want to do cartwheels, she wants to do the bwo/bwo. She just needs the confidence that she can still do it. What is wrong with spotting her a few times until she realizes the she can do it without them standing there. They then move onto vault, where once again she hasn't vaulted in 3 months. She was scoring in the 9's with her vault before hurt knee, last night she had a hard time just going over the vault. The coach asked her " what in the world was that". Well my dd is only 9 and she took it as being yelled at, both times. And my dd is a cryer and what did she start to do? Cry! This made the coach even more aggravated with my dd.

After practice was over I talked to the head coach/owner, the same one that I talked to about spotting her. All he said was that he was mad at dd for bailing on her vault, because that could get her hurt. I do understand that, but what about the commitment to spot her. Of course the coach that wouldn't spot her told him a different story and said that my dd wouldn't do it cause she was scared. Of course she was, she hasn't done it in 3 months, and she asked for a spot.

Sorry, for venting so much and for rambling, but I am still frustrated with the whole situation. I love her gym and her coaches, but could they not show a little sympathy for the fact that she has been out for 3 months and take that into consideration when she is attempting to do the skills.

canadiangymmom · #2 01-31-2008, 09:04 AM

Wow! I would be absolutely LIVID if my daughter was treated that way!

I realize from your last paragraph that you love the gym and coaches, but would need a whole lot more in the in the way of apologies, for both me and my daughter if I was in you position.

I hope your daughter has a better experience next time she trains.

Canadian Gym Mom

**bogwoppit** · #3 01-31-2008, 09:33 AM

I would be livid too, that is just plain silly and dangerous

Your little one should have been spotted on the vault even if she didn't want it, she needed to get her confidence back, not be forced into doing a skill she was afraid of.

Not spotting her BWO and then putting something else in makes no sense either, sounds like a very impatient coach.

Speaking from great experience, when my Dd has gone back to gym after her various injuries, she has been heavily spotted for the first week and then after that whenever she asks for it. Knees are tricky things and when they hurt, they really hurt. Myy DD had the same worry about huting herself again, that is totally normal.

I would give yourself a few hours to calm down and then I'd give the head coach a call, expalin how your daughter is feeling and what she would like to happen next time. If she is coached by more than one person perhaps you could arrange to meet with them all before the next course to explain what your daughter needs in order to ease back into competition. They should want to know as they are liable if something goes wrong.

Let us know how this works out ofr DD.

flippymonkeysmom · #4 01-31-2008, 04:00 PM

Even if she weren't scared - just for the sake of safety they should have been spotting after being out for 3 months. I would be seriously mad and probably would have lost my temper and told them off - I give you a lot of credit for handling it so well. I do feel at the very least they owe your dd one heck of an apology for treating her that way.

gymmomntc2e6 · #5 02-01-2008, 05:25 PM

I must agree that I would also be very upset. Anyone coming in from that long I would think should either be spotted or a coach right there who can spot in an instant if needed. especially w/ a girl so young.

I hope they show a little more understanding next time your dd is there. I can imagine it would be scary just doing a bwo/bwo on the beam after not doing it for so long, but to add in the fear of re-injury or just that it will hurt.... coach should have been happy to spot. And the vault, that is a lot of bounce on that knee - I probably would have bailed on it too - I would have cried to - she was probably so excited to get back to the gym then to not get the support she needed.

mariposamama · #6 02-01-2008, 08:37 PM

that would upset me as well. she is coming back from a huge break from being injured. and to reduce her to tears??? what a horrible way to welcome her back. i feel so bad for your daughter and for you having to witness that. hope they get it straightened out. that was totally uncalled for.

gym law mom · #7 02-02-2008, 10:28 AM

There is absolutely no excuse for the way your dd was treated. Sometimes a coach will wrongly assume that just because the girl has been in the gym doing some conditioning etc., she's fine to go full out in a practice. The coaches should have at least taken some time with her before each event practice and talked with her---did she want a spot, just a coach standing nearby etc. After the 1st vault where she had trouble, one coach should have just pulled her aside and talked with her etc. Actually, best thing on vault would have been to just let her do some drills the 1st day to get her timing back etc.
I would be very reluctant to let her compete with the current attitude of the coaches and her feelings of insecurity.

Did her doctor ever have her do any PT? Just because they do conditioning in the gym doesn't mean all those muscles in the leg(quads especially) are as strong as they need to be. Even when my gymie was given the all clear to practice all 4 events after her knee problem, the PT had her alternate floor(tumbling) and vault for another 2-3 weeks.

Let us know how things turn out.