DD Quit - I Need to Vent

[Aussie_coach]

Good on you and your DD for removing herself from such a negative situation. It sounds like the environment she was in was doing her far more damage than good.

I agree with other posters, is it possible to find her another gym. It sounds like your daughter truly does love gymnastics but the coaches at her ol;d gym has caused her to feel negatively about the sport. If she could once again find a positive happy environment perhaps she would start to love it again.

The other concern is going from doing a 20 hour a week sport to nothing at all. Has she found anaother activity she would like to do. Maybe something where she can use her hard earned gym skills like cheerleading, dance, trampolining, competitive tumbling, diving, sports acrobatics and so on.

[gym law mom]

DEMom---Sounds like my gymmie's former coach and your dd's former coach are twins. Just about exactly what we went through last summer---looking back, it had been building, but we didn't really see it. Had her take a few days to just think about "do I totally want to quit the sport vs. quit that gym." We told her it was her decision and we would support her either way. After 2 days, she said she still loved the sport, but could not continue with that coach or at that gym.

Maybe we should have given her a little longer break, but the next week she was at her current gym doing a full week of practice for free to try it out. We were slightly rushed since school would be starting soon regarding getting her settled in a new gym. Her coach told us" I don't care about her skills right now---I just want to get her to smile." She said it took about 3 mos before gymmie would talk much and seemed to just "want to blend into the background." Slowly but surely the trust in a coach has come back and her confidence in herself is growing with each meet. Pretty wise coach for only 30yo.

Sit down and have a talk with your dd. Tell her to push aside( for a few minutes) the bad over the last few weeks and just look at the sport. Also tell her there are gyms and programs where she will not be kicked around like she has been and if she still has that passion to swing bars etc. you'll be behind her and will work on finding a new gym. At this time if she wants to just take a break, tell her thats fine too----you are always there to talk about options.

[bogwoppit]

What a horrible coach.

Poor girl! I hope she is able to take a break and then see this for what it is, a very bad experience. Good for her for standing up for herself. Shocking that an abusive coach can still be working in any club.

Maybe with a bit of distance she will want to go back, but to another club, where she can begin to enjoy herself again.

I really feel for you, you obviously are a great Mom and really care for your child's feelings. Good for you, you will be a great support to her. She will learn a lot through this horrible experience, self preservation is a great skill to learn young.

Good luck for the future.

[DEMom]

Thanks for the advice. We will see what happens. I have told her it is her decision in whatever she wants to do.

[mmmom]

It sounds like our DD's could have the same poor excuse for a head coach. Ours is also the owner and has been for nearly 3 short years. He has what I call the Bella syndrom. I wish I had a viable option for my DD to change gyms. An inmature/insecure coach can really suck the fun out of the sport and honestly once they have put in 10 or more years and are optionals much of the fun has already left and it becomes more of a job/way of life/ or dare I say addiction. Sounds like both coaches may drive their gyms into the ground if they don't grow up. I wish you luck and hope that you can again find happiness in a new gym. Keep your DD active while she is taking a break so she doesn't feel blue.