DD Quit - I Need to Vent

[DEMom]

Hi. I haven't posted in a while - there has been alot going on.

My DD handed in her resignation from team this Monday. She is 12 and has been in the sport since age 4. She is a second year level 7 practicing 20 hrs a week for the last 2 years. She has had a phenomenal year with most all her scores in mid 36 to low 37. ( She did have one 35 something but she had mono.)

Things have been real bad at the gym with favoritism, lack of coaching, negative comparison to other girls, not enough coaches & degrading comments made but nothing to the recent immature behavior of the head coach/owner not to even acknowledge her since DD gave notice. She has states this weekend but DD refuses to go to practice and be subject to this coach. (I had spoken to him in the past several times regarding issues and always got a bunch of lip service.) There just comes a time when you have to move on. I think her quitting is the tip of the iceberg. There are so many unhappy gymnasts and parents at this gym.

But I am so appalled by this coaches recent behavior this week of totally ignoring her. Last night she asked to be spotted on a free hip to handstand and he walked away from her saying NO I have a cold, coughed, and then proceeded to spot another gymnast. She said it was the worst practice she ever had. Tonight wasn't much better. He hasn't talked to her all week! He has purposefully ignored her as if she wasn't there. I don't want to talk to him at this point, as I may not be able to control my tongue if I do.

His behavior is unbelievable. Who is the adult here? The job of the coach should be to lead and inspire the girls to do their best, not berate them and compare them to others and pick and choose a select few to coach while the others teach themselves. This coach is the rudest most immature man I have ever met. And as a new business owner of a new gym, he is only hurting himself!

One thing about him being so rude is there are absolutely NO second thoughts on the part of my DD. DD is running track as she does every spring and will still do cheerleading in the winter with school. She says she wants to keep up with her skills going to the health club, & open gym, but take off for the summer and maybe go somewhere else in the fall.

So I just needed to vent. I have been doing alot of that lately! It's been a tough week. I trust there is life after gymnastics!

[ZJsMom]

I feel for you and your dd. It's so sad that she has to leave on such a sour note. It really is terrible that her coaches can't act like adults.

[CoachL]

sounds like she should change clubs not quit.

[Gymmonkeymomma]

It sure sounds like your DD needs a change. I'm sorry she's had such a negative experience. Some coaches just need a good smack in the head!!

[gymmomntc2e6]

I agree w/ CoachL - sounds like a change of gyms would be a better option than leaving the sport all together.

[Blackie6]

Sorry for what you & your DD went thru. Making it to L7 is quite an accomplishment. This must have been a difficult decision for both of you. Here in NJ they have a program called JOGA, which is competative (meets are all in NJ) but has less training hours (and cheaper too!). Many girls retire from USAG and try this out because they still love gymnastics and love to compete with less stress. Many JOGA girls compete at their high schools. Maybe your DD could switch to a program like this?

Or, maybe she could take a break while looking at some other gyms that maybe are less competative or lower hours? Maybe a change in coach would also be a change in attitude?

[Livinatthegym]

That behavior is inexcusable. You know, it's in his best interest for his athletes to do well at state, even if that's the last meet. I'm sorry he's such a horse's patoot.

The decision to leave the sport, especially for someone who has been in it long enough to make the optional team, is hard enough. My dd1 is leaving at the end of the month. (We have state this weekend, and since she's lvl 8, she's hoping to make regionals.) The process of deciding to do this and then make peace with herself about it has taken her months, and she still chokes up when she thinks about her last day in the gym. The last thing a kid in this situation needs is the feeling she is being pushed out the door. I am so sorry your dd has this stress added to what has to be a hard decision anyway.

Wish I could say or do something to make this better for you.

[beam girl]

You know, gymnastics is hard enough and emotionally draining enough without a coach acting like that. I'm very sorry your dd has quit, but if she really loves it and is passionate about the sport, she'll come back when she's ready. I'm not good with patience myself, but give her some time and let her work through some of these feelings and she'll probably be ready before you know it. At another gym, of course! Good Luck I'll bet your dd will end up with the best coaches at another gym and you'll be thanking her current coach for being such a jerk and driving your dd out of there! Hang in there

[flippymonkeysmom]

I'm so sorry to hear about her experience. I agree with a previous poster - that coach can definitely use a good smack in the head!!!

I hope after she has a chance to relax and think she decides to go back and finds a gym with better coaches.

[Gymnasticsgirl521]

That is just horrible. I would so be looking for another gy. I say give her a break and maybe find her a new gym home for the later part of summer early fall. Best of luck and hugs to you all.