Off Topic Our? A little rant...

[pamred4]

I have noticed, and my mum does it too, that a lot of parents relate to gymnastics as theirs and there child's... That doesn't make sense let me give you an example.
Person: so your learning your routine
Parent: yes WE are learning but WE have a lot of trouble with the dance don't WE
Another example
Person so have you gotten any new skills yet?
Parent: WE got OUR roundoff back-handspring last last night didn't WE

I no that the parents are part of the journey and play a vital role in the world of gymnastics but it just annoys me a little bit when parents are like trying to overshadow there child or something by relating to things as of they have a part in me getting my Robh... Just a little rant... Bye

 

[raenndrops]

I don't think parents should talk like that with their gymmie standing right there. They should let the gymmie do the talking... but, if somebody asks me what my gymmies are working on, I sometimes say WE... but not because I am usurping their accomplishments as my own - it is more that I am there... at practice with them... helping them through the struggles... and at home, helping them figure out the best way to accomplish their goals (or how to articulate to the HC exactly what they need from HC to optimize their time). Of course, I am ALSO a coach and I use WE in reference to the entire gymnastics team too. We had championships and we took 2nd place in Xcel Gold... We got 4 more kips in the last month.We are getting ready for Nationals and we need to work on perfecting our bars before then.

And just so you know, a lot of parents don't realize they are doing it. They have been there for their gymmie since the beginning and it may feel like it is at least partly their journey too.

Have a great week and feel free to rant anytime

 

[MILgymFAM]

That would bug me too! There are military wives who do that with their husband's rank, and it makes me bonkers!

 

[skschlag]

For the same reason that people give congratulations to the parent when a kid does well. I guess I don't see a problem with it. I get that it is strange, and most of the time, I try to do HE instead of WE, but it doesn't always come out that way.

And this might sound bad, but I am his parent. We are a family. We all sacrifice, we all work hard, we all do things to get him where he needs to be. I know I am not doing the skills, and I know that he is the one doing the hard stuff, but we work together.

When I do it, I am not trying to take anything away from him, or indicate in any way that I was involved in the success, except in driving him there, working extra hours, and supporting him in his dream.

It is the collective "we" that parents all over use. the way you described it sounds like baby talk" don't we?" but really, I think most of the time, it is just a pronoun that doesn't really mean much.

 

[Azgymmiemom]

I make tons of sacrifices for my kids so that they can do gym. I feel I am entitled to share in a little bit of their victory. If I didn't drive, work at the gym, pay money, juggle my other kid for meet sessions, give up LOTS of things that I would like to do, my kids would not be at the level that they are. I totally feel this is a family sport and "WE" are all in it together!! My kids hug me and tell me thank you all the time. They realize how much I sacrifice for them.

 

[Jenny]

I have noticed, and my mum does it too, that a lot of parents relate to gymnastics as theirs and there child's... That doesn't make sense let me give you an example.
Person: so your learning your routine
Parent: yes WE are learning but WE have a lot of trouble with the dance don't WE
Another example
Person so have you gotten any new skills yet?
Parent: WE got OUR roundoff back-handspring last last night didn't WE

I no that the parents are part of the journey and play a vital role in the world of gymnastics but it just annoys me a little bit when parents are like trying to overshadow there child or something by relating to things as of they have a part in me getting my Robh... Just a little rant... Bye

I have noticed that WE get lots of skills and WE win lots of stuff but when the fear monster bites you are all alone honey! DD has a fear, DD cannot get her flyaway, DD is wanting to quit (I bet you never saw ever WE are wanting to quit!) Too funny.

I think it is quite cute though when people say WE have a champion in our house. That comes across more as being proud rather than glory grabbing.

 

[Aussie_coach]

Its a common issue in gymnastics. Kids spend a lot of time in the gym, and subsequently many parents spend a lot of time in the gym. The gym becomes the parents life as much as it becomes the child's life.

This becomes quite unhealthy for the child, what happens when they want to quit, many don't because their parents would feel cut off.

Ideally a parent who simply can't stay away from the gym could look into taking on a role, why not learn to be a judge or coach.

 

[pamred4]

I'm sorry if I offended anyone as that wasn't the point of this post. All I was saying is that it annoyed me and that I felt that it was unneeded. Feel free to have your own view and post them, I'm happy to read everyone's opinion!

 

[OzZee]

LOL I don't think I'd ever say We are working on x,y,z - One big bit of the We - ie ME would never ever consider doing something as stupid as to fly around a bar, cartwheel on a little piece of wood etc. They can take full credit for any silly gymnastics skills they are doing.
But I do say 'our gym'. (as opposed to my gym - the one I go to work out at), but then I do do enough for the place that it's a little bit mine to.

 

[iwannacoach]

Both I and IWC get a kick out of the many abuses of the "american english" language. I guess we can try to enjoy it or ignore it because there's no way they can ever stop it.

 

[Frase]

I often say 'we've got gym' (or swimming for ds) and 'we are off to x competition' but it's purely a logistical comment - we are both going! However 'she' wins comps not me. I do find it a bit awkward if people say "well done" to me when she is not there. I often just reply with a yes, she did well.

 

[JessSyd]

I will admit to saying 'our gym' because it really is ours. She trains there, I sign cheques there, and fundraise there, and sew costumes there and so on. Both of us are active participants there. Ditto 'we've got gym' because as Frase said, it accurately describes the logistics. However the achievements completely belong to her - her new skill, her result, her team, her work.

'We' could never work on skills, because my arms would fall out of their sockets if I even thought too hard about using them to support my entire bodyweight.

I do see how a parent could become overinvested though. I remember watching a training session once and almost working up a sweat mentally willing my daughter to finally crack the back hip circle. I went home exhausted. And that is when I realised that I must not turn her journey into my journey. That no matter how caught up in it I get, she is the point of it all and that I need to leave her to it for as long as she's enjoying it. These days I'm just there for the logistics and the coffee (which is surprisingly good).

I ask every semester before I pay the fees if she really, really, really wants to keep going or if she'd like to try something new. There are so many fun something news out there.

 

[aerialriver]

That's like when a women is pregnant and someone asks how far along and the husband answers WE are 20 weeks. Last time I checked guys couldn't carry babies.

 

[iwannacoach]

That's like when a women is pregnant and someone asks how far along and the husband answers WE are 20 weeks. Last time I checked guys couldn't carry babies.

Well you have to admit that we are often talking about two others as party to "we." Let's not throw out the baby with the bath water.....

 

[raenndrops]

I have noticed that WE get lots of skills and WE win lots of stuff but when the fear monster bites you are all alone honey! DD has a fear, DD cannot get her flyaway, DD is wanting to quit (I bet you never saw ever WE are wanting to quit!) Too funny.

I think it is quite cute though when people say WE have a champion in our house. That comes across more as being proud rather than glory grabbing.

I have actually heard "We might be quitting. This might have been our last year" from a parent... funny though, her daughter doesn't want to quit- she just didn't do very well this season (took 2 months off last year during uptraining and then didn't learn the L4 routines until late... also has memory problems, so it took longer than usual to get all the little details).

 

[Gymmonkeymomma]

I make tons of sacrifices for my kids so that they can do gym. I feel I am entitled to share in a little bit of their victory. If I didn't drive, work at the gym, pay money, juggle my other kid for meet sessions, give up LOTS of things that I would like to do, my kids would not be at the level that they are. I totally feel this is a family sport and "WE" are all in it together!! My kids hug me and tell me thank you all the time. They realize how much I sacrifice for them.

For these reasons ^^^, when my gym mom friends and I converse we says "we" JOKINGLY. Often, it is "we, I mean she got x, y, z skill...."

 

[Azgymmiemom]

I always say my dd or my ds got such and so skill, but I always say we have gym, we have a meet we can't, we have gymnastics. Hey, it's my schedule, too.

 

[gymgal]

This has always been a pet peeve of mine. I even go so far as to *usually* say, 'dd's gym', not 'our gym'. And her successes (and troubles) are always *HERS*. *She* flipped her vault today. But, yes, it sometimes slips out "we have a meet", "Our session starts at ___". Again, like what others have said - if I have to do the driving and sit there the whole time, then it is OUR schedule, not just hers.

 

[NYG]

Its a common issue in gymnastics. Kids spend a lot of time in the gym, and subsequently many parents spend a lot of time in the gym. The gym becomes the parents life as much as it becomes the child's life.

This becomes quite unhealthy for the child, what happens when they want to quit, many don't because their parents would feel cut off.

Ideally a parent who simply can't stay away from the gym could look into taking on a role, why not learn to be a judge or coach.

The Her/He, us/we doesn't bother me. I think generally, if I say we or hear someone say we, it's not intended as an inclusion to the kid actually doing the sport. I don't take it as me or another parent feeling as if we accomplished anything in the world of gymnastics.

Aussie_Coach, I do relate to this. The first year my DD was on team, I was just so amazed at what these kids were doing and the progess of my own child, I actually enjoyed going and watching several practices a WEEK, for the whole 2 or 3 hours what ever the length was at that time. I truly was just amazed at what these little kids were able to accomplish. Then something happened, the season was over and summer rolled in and I found myself resenting being there so much. I began to dislike the sport in general and time requirements put on my family. So for the past two years, I drop off and when I pick up I may catch the last 15 minutes of practice, if for whatever reason I need to be there I usually go running to kill the time. I try and watch for an hour once or twice a month.

 

[Aussie_coach]

NYG I don't even feel there is anything wrong with watching the whole 2-3 hour session. It's when the parents spends the whole 16-20 hours a week watching every move of the class where it becomes a serious problem.