Parents New here - looking to see if we are alone withour problem

[COz]

I am so not an expert on this, but just some thoughts from another parent of a 5 year old.

From what I've seen, 5 year old girl gymnasts have the maturity of normal 10 year olds whereas 5 year old boy gymnasts have the maturity of 5 year old boys

There are plenty of threads around here that say that there's plenty of time for boys. You don't have the same kind of time pressure that girls have. If he's asking to move back to the kids classes, I'd be inclined to let him do that, if he really doesn't want to be in the current class. Otherwise could he do a combination of this and the kids classes? It's harder to move them back if they're not coping but think they're too good for a class. Clearly he's really talented, but he'll be just as talented next year too and more mature.

Our then 4 year old was asked to move up from a 4-5yo class to a pre-pre-team group that was mostly 6-7 year olds with a 5 yo in there too (she's tall, so I don't think they realised she was 4 when they made the offer). She struggled initially with the time change from daytime to when she would normally have dinner. She got used to it and was doing well in the class. Then they said she had the skills to move up, but they would keep her in the same class for another year so she wouldn't risk burning out.
By this point, it was clear she wanted more hours and was going to be unhappy staying in this class for another whole year.
We looked elsewhere and found a class that she fitted into nicely, with kids her own age. It was amazing to see the difference. She has thrived and a huge part has been having age peers to train with and become friends with. It would be nice if your son could have similar aged kids to train with. I honestly didn't think it mattered, but it really did to my child's progress.
It could be worth delaying him being in the team class by a year, simply to wait for other kids to catch up with him.

 

[Sasha]

I also have a son on team now (just turned 7), having started at age 5 in our pre-team with a bunch of similar aged-boys. In my time getting to know most all the boys (and their parents) on my son's level and the levels below and above, I can say it is fairly common for there to be an occasional "I don't want to go today" moment with some of the boys in this age set. Usually because the boy was particularly tired, or the school year had just started (and so, again, probably tired), or he had started playing with something at home and didn't want to stop. Those are all normal and nothing to worry about, I'd say.

I have, however, also seen a few boys now (ages 4-6 at the time) that were demonstrating more stress than that - crying more than once in class, crying before class not wanting to go in, refusing to participate in something, saying how 'hard' it is (even if they were keeping up skill-wise just fine). I can think of 3 in particular who were having ongoing issues over a number of weeks. In each case, the parent and coach gave it some time to see if it was a temporary adjustment issue, or ultimately not a fit at the present time. Our boys pre/team program is very regimented with pretty high behavioral expectations for focus, attention, and following instructions. Boys are invited for behavior as much as talent. The coaches are caring, but firm and consistent (which I love). So the coaches gave each of the unsettled boys a bit more leniency, encouragement, and breaks during their rough patches to see if they could adjust. I spoke with parents of 2 of the boys at length (as we'd become friendly), and 1 briefly, so I got to know their situations.

Ultimately, their issues did not improve in these specific cases, and 1 boy transferred to a Rec class where he is extremely happy, and 2 boys left the program. One of those who left was, imo, ridiculously talented and had loved gymnastics for a while. Top of the class, honestly. But when the hours, structure and conditioning increased for team, he crumbled (not physically as he was strong and talented, but mentally) at age 6. Very sad. His parents took it so hard as they were really excited to have him start competitions. And I doubt they ever unduly pressured him - top notch folks.

So what I take away from this is that, while it might be ok to have a 'rough patch' of adjustment at first, and occasional days of not wanting to go because he is tired or otherwise-engaged in play, if you're still having other behavior/crying problems after a few weeks, it is probably a signal that the timing for this class is not right, and better to scale back in some way, rather than risk leaving a sport in which he has talent.

Hope you and your son have success and find what works for him!

 

[happychaos]

It is common for children that age to feel very conflicted when they have more than one desirable option. Whether it be choosing an ice cream flavor, or choosing between playing on the swing set at home or going to practice at the gym. Many kids have a hard time saying good bye to mom at kindergarten drop-off every morning, but once mom is gone they have a great time.

It's just the age. Don't read too much onto it. Make sure he has enough time to do all the other things he loves, and then as long as he is loving it while there, remind him that he committed to it and needs to go. Best of luck!

 

[tooootsie]

Thanks in advance for all of the replies that may come. I found this site while sitting at the gym, but didn’t decide to register and post till I was at work tonight.
When my son was around 3 put him into a tumbling class in the hopes to improve his balance and to get out some of his over amount of energy. We never expected him to enjoy it like he did, nor did we expect him to excel like he has. He turned 5 in April and as a treat this summer we enrolled him in a 3-day 1-week "camp" for kids his age and after the first day of the camp the boys completion coach was on him to join the team. After talking it over with my wife we decided to go for it, although he was only 5 and can't compete till he is 6.
That brings me to our problem; there are days he doesn't want to go. Once he gets there he has an awesome time, is improving more then we could ever have imagined, and is doing things he only dreamed about when he was in the "lil kid gym" (as he calls it). We have had crying fits because he doesn’t want to do something that they are doing in practice, yet 2 practices before he did it just fine and was doing it through the house the next day. It’s getting better, but we are at a loss as to what to do. He LOVES it when he is there, but the problem we get into is getting him there. As parents, we don't want to force him into it because then he will resent it...but at the same time we don’t want to teach him to give up when it is harder then he wants or isn’t exactly what he wants to do.

It is his age, I have a daughter that just turned 6 and has been in gym since she was 2.. she has her first comp this sat.. for the longest time it was a fight eventhough she LOVES it!

 

[sce]

It is his age, I have a daughter that just turned 6 and has been in gym since she was 2.. she has her first comp this sat.. for the longest time it was a fight eventhough she LOVES it!

I think it's magnified becasue he is a boy. It still sounds like too much too soon. I found with ds, when eh was littler, it was best leaving him wanting more. Gymanstics, esp. men's, is a marathon not a race. he needs help pacing it so that he will still love it for years to come.

 

[Rockygym]

My 4 yo DS just laid down on the mats last night at practice for 10 minutes during the springboard rotations Preschool + gymnastics = tired boy at times, but after a quick snack he was right back at it climbing the rope. Luckily the coaches (one of which is DH) were very chill about it.