Parents Confidence

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How do you help to build confidence in your child as a gymnast?
DD has some decent skills, excellent form, good strength. Excellent coaching- in a group with kids significantly older and much better than she. Floor confidence appears from time to time- but her lack of confidence really shows in beam.
I don't know what to say or do to help her stand tall and proud- finish skills looking like she nailed it!
 
You didn't go into any detail (age, level, etc) but I can give you an anecdote from our past experiences.

With my DD, she moved onto a level where the girls had significantly more training than her. DD was used to being the best/favorite of her group to being pushed around and uncomfortable.
She was so nerve-racked that she chewed her fingers until they bled.

It took a few months for her to get comfortable with the girls and the coach. It wasn't until she started competing and scoring as well, or higher, than others that she truly felt she belonged.

We were JUST remarking about how much more fun up-training is this time around than last time. Not only do the skills seem more attainable, but also she doesn't have girls tell her that she can't do anything right and she needs to let people who know what they're doing have her turn. (That was a confidence killer.)
 
You didn't go into any detail (age, level, etc) but I can give you an anecdote from our past experiences.

With my DD, she moved onto a level where the girls had significantly more training than her. DD was used to being the best/favorite of her group to being pushed around and uncomfortable.
She was so nerve-racked that she chewed her fingers until they bled.

It took a few months for her to get comfortable with the girls and the coach. It wasn't until she started competing and scoring as well, or higher, than others that she truly felt she belonged.

We were JUST remarking about how much more fun up-training is this time around than last time. Not only do the skills seem more attainable, but also she doesn't have girls tell her that she can't do anything right and she needs to let people who know what they're doing have her turn. (That was a confidence killer.)

How horrible. I hope you talked to the coaches. Last year my DD started at the bottom of her group - chasing skills with a team of girls who all had theirs. However, they took her under their wing - she was never left to feel like you describe.

Actually, more jealousy reared its head once she started surpassing them then when she was behind.

OP, definitely make sure your DD takes pride in her skills and is posed for her teammates. Confidence will come as she become accustomed to competing.
 
How do you help to build confidence in your child as a gymnast?
DD has some decent skills, excellent form, good strength. Excellent coaching- in a group with kids significantly older and much better than she. Floor confidence appears from time to time- but her lack of confidence really shows in beam.
I don't know what to say or do to help her stand tall and proud- finish skills looking like she nailed it!
Hi. As a parent, I would tell your DD that you are proud of her no matter how she performs. Focus on the things that she improves on from week to week and from meet to meet. Tell her to smile big and be proud of herself because she is awesome. Just knowing how proud you are of her will build her confidence. With that being said, I don't think that it up to just you to help build her confidence. Coaches play a significant role and to a lesser extent so do other gym parents and gymnasts. For example, at my DD's gym there is a large bell on the gym floor. When a gymnast gets a new skill, she goes to the bell and rings it. Everyone in the gym stops what they are doing and claps for her. This kind of thing builds confidence and pride.
Additionally, competing for two seasons at a lower level seems to pay huge dividends for young gymnasts. I will tell you my DD's story: she competed two seasons at the old L4. Her first L4 meet (Dec. 2011) she scored 34.425. She got better each meet, averaged 35.700 for the season, and won the state meet with an AA score of 37.100. The next season she was so confident that she won AA at 7 of 9 meets and 2nd AA in the other two meets. Her average score was 37.681. The following season she competed the new L4 and L5 at the same meet to get her mobility scores. She skipped L6 and competed L7. She won AA in 4 of 7 meets and 2nd AA in two meets. Even in the meet she placed 11th, she scored 36.750 with an average score for the season of 37.650 I believe that a lot of this has to do with her expecting to perform well which she learned at L4. Some other gyms don't necessarily like this but you can't argue with the results.
 
My daughter also tends to lack confidence on beam. I've told her that the judges will take points off if she looks scared, so even if she doesn't feel brave she has to get up there and *pretend* that she is the bravest girl in the gym! I also tell her that a lot of the other girls who look very brave and confident are probably pretending too, but they are good at pretending so we never see that they are just as nervous as she is. It really has helped her.

I will also bring her in for a private when she needs a confidence boost. A little one-on-one time with her coach seems to go a long way. It gives her extra practice on the skill that is bothering her and it builds trust with her coach. Afterward she seems more confident in practice.
 
My daughter also tends to lack confidence on beam. I've told her that the judges will take points off if she looks scared, so even if she doesn't feel brave she has to get up there and *pretend* that she is the bravest girl in the gym! I also tell her that a lot of the other girls who look very brave and confident are probably pretending too, but they are good at pretending so we never see that they are just as nervous as she is. It really has helped her.

I will also bring her in for a private when she needs a confidence boost. A little one-on-one time with her coach seems to go a long way. It gives her extra practice on the skill that is bothering her and it builds trust with her coach. Afterward she seems more confident in practice.

We do this too. Works wonders!
 
I'm not sure of your DD's age, but if she is a little bit older, you may look into Doc Ali's programs. Confidence in gymnastics is such a tricky thing and can come and go like flipping a switch.

If Doc Ali's program seems too intense or expensive, then another group with some less expensive materials that you might want to look into is proactivecoaching.info. They have small booklets that are aimed at athletes, coaches and parents. These booklets are easy to read and only cost $5. They even have one booklet specifically aimed at helping parents build confidence in their athlete and one aimed at teaching the athletes how to compete with confidence. One of the owner's wives is a gymnastics coach, so they really get the mental side of this sport.

Good luck!
 
❤️ All of these- thanks. She is still very young- she is shy by nature and it shows. It's quite possible no one has heard her speak more than a few words and yet the gym is her "home" and her "life." It is her comfort zone. I would love to see her stick and BAM land like she means it and show everyone she knows she's great- busy out of that shell.We have a lot of work to do in that area- we will slowly try to break her shell away. Thank you- your advice and stories are wonderful!
 
❤️ All of these- thanks. She is still very young- she is shy by nature and it shows. It's quite possible no one has heard her speak more than a few words and yet the gym is her "home" and her "life." It is her comfort zone. I would love to see her stick and BAM land like she means it and show everyone she knows she's great- busy out of that shell.We have a lot of work to do in that area- we will slowly try to break her shell away. Thank you- your advice and stories are wonderful!
If she has a friend from the gym maybe you could have her stay the night sometime. Give them special permission to stay up late, watch Frozen, eat ice cream, whatever...and watch her blossom. Gymnastics is such a great sport for that. I can't wait to hear an update on how she is doing.
 

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