Would you want to know?

[leapfrog]

So this is mostly a question for coaches.
I switched gyms at the beginning of this year (September), and our first meet is in 2 months.
I have aspergers, and was going to tell the coaches when i started, and then didn't, and i keep putting it off because things are fine right now.
I feel like I should probably tell the coaches before meet season, because meets are far more stressful than practice, and my 'difficulties' tend to show up more at meets (ie, last year i started crying during DMT finals. not enough to make it unsafe, and not because i was sad or anything. i was just so worn out from all the overload all weekend that i needed to do something, and crying was the least disruptive)

However, i told my last coach, and it didnt go so well. I told her at the beginning of the year, and gave her a sheet that had gym specific things i had problems with, and suggestions. she mostly ignored it, and seemed to think i was just being a butthead, and never asked me anything (after i told her she never brought it up again).
My new coaches are fantastic, but i am still worried that i will be ruining a good thing.

So as a coach, would you want to know, and how would maybe be the best way to bring it up?

 

[Aussie_coach]

If I was your coach, then yes, I would want to know. It would allow me to coach you better and know how to best communicate with you.

But ultimately it is a choice you are going to have to make. There is a possibility that they will treat you differently when they know.

 

[COz]

Sometimes people can have difficulties dealing with the "label". Presumably you are high functioning enough that they haven't noticed.

You could consider letting the relevant coaches know that last time you had some sensory overload and find the noise, crowds etc. stressful. Tell them you find you need quiet where possible to prepare for competition and not to be concerned if you're not very chatty or interactive. Tell them a bit before, not months out.
Warn your team mates too that you'll need your personal space. Give them the same info as your coaches. If you warn them beforehand you can remind them so they don't try and 'cheer you up' or hype you up before the competition.
Try to take an iPod with white noise or meditation/classical music, whatever works for you, so you can sit when you can, quietly with eyes closed. People are less likely to try to talk to you if you do this.

People generally find it easier to understand personal space and needing quiet or not feeling chatty. They sometimes fixate on the bits of Asperger's that will be less useful for helping you in this context.
You can describe what works for you, without giving it a label. Written instructions tends to put most people off.

If you did cry, then you could say that "It's all a bit much at the moment and I just want some quiet space. Don't mind the tears, I'm just a bit stressed. I'm OK, I'll let you know if I'm not handling it".

A lot of Asperger's traits work really well with gymnastics Good luck with the comp.

 

[coachmolly]

As a coach, I do like to know if something is going on with an athlete that could cause problems- whether those problems be physical struggles, fears, anxieties, stressors, whatever. Not so I can label them or treat them differently than their peers, but so I can better understand what's going on with them and know that if they start showing signs of a problem that it's not them just acting out or being "difficult." Even just a vague, "I cry when I get overloaded and sometimes meets cause that" can be sufficient. Let them know if that does happen you just need some quiet time to unwind. If they ask for more details and seem genuinely understanding, you can offer what you feel comfortable with.
However, as someone who has struggles that interfere with my life, and definitely interfered with my gymnastics, I know the stress of whether or not to tell a coach. Most of the time I chose not to, afraid of how they would treat me or just take it as an excuse. And there were some coaches that I am glad I did not tell, because I think they would have handled it poorly. However, there were also very understanding coaches who I chose not to tell and wish I had as I think they could have better helped me work through those struggles, perhaps helping me stay in the gym longer (I quit at 15 due to lots of physical injury but also building stress I had put on myself that made gym terribly stressful).
Test the waters with a few simple comments and see how it goes from there, no labels needed. It sounds like you are doing great in the gym and managing very well, I hope you have a successful season and your new coaches continue to be understanding and helpful!

 

[iwannacoach]

Like coachmolly said....... Really