MAG Trying something new

[skschlag]

So, ds is 12, and as you guys know, has had a rather rough summer. So attitude is in full force. Pre-teen, middle school, know-it-all attitude. So something I say is always construed differently. Something as simple as: What were you guys doing there at the end of practice? teen-translated means "you never think I am working!" and "are you going to do those workout sheets at home on the floor or can I throw them away" means " you are always yelling about what I don't do!"

Even something complimentary like "I saw your XYZ tonight and it looks good!" can mean that I think he sucks on all other events.

So, I am pledging now to not initate any conversations about gym after gym. Nothing. He can talk about anything he wants. My answers will remain upbeat and uninvolved. It helps that I am not watching much.

So, we shall see if it helps....

 

[Seeker]

Good luck.

 

[OzZee]

Hahaha I have girls so maybe boys aren't so bad but then you will get 'you aren't interested in what I do' or 'you care more about my sisters than me' . Do boys do the 'you've wrecked my life' thing? Not asking the pertinent question can be that dramatic.

 

[sce]

I can totally relate to this. I did not realize adolescent boys were so moody.

 

[Dr Maleficent]

I have found that for my teenager-in-training it is best to ask no questions at all about the gym, but to react with unrestrained enthusiasm to any news of progress. When I say 'unrestrained' I mean that stopping to ask 'what is that?' does not show the proper level of enthusiasm. It is better to be joyful and amazed and then google quietly later.

 

[munchkin3]

I second your strategy. We are doing the same thing with DS.
Only problem we have now is that DD is trying his gym and that means I have stayed for two days at her request. I looked at her across the gym doing something, and my son was within my sight and you guessed it. He thought I was looking at him! The horror!!!!
He was talking to me in depth the other day about a video game, oh well.

 

[skschlag]

Oh I am sure that this will swing the other way and prove that I am a horrible mom who hates gymnastics. But the nightly meltdowns are getting so old. we shall see.....last night went well!

 

[Iwannabemargo]

Its really tough on them when the hormones kick in. I fully admit I have been really lucky, Step daughter was only part-time and so ,I suspect saved it for her mother and Big Boy apart from a bit of huffing and eye rolling has not been too bad.

Little lad is heading in that direction atm and he is very empathetic and emotional normally, the other day he came up to me and told me he just felt "wrong", so hopefully he will be able to articulate his feelings.

I know Pink is going to be a major nightmare ..........

 

[skschlag]

Yes margo....people do not prepare you for teh boys. My oldest did it for a bit at this age....then it improved slowly (he has his issues, but they are related to other things, not hormones). But this is my sweet, loving, empathetic little boy lol.

I know he is tired too..and darn those video games...

 

[profmom]

With DD, I am either supposed to watch or not supposed to watch. And I'm supposed to know.

 

[gwenmom]

DS (non gymnast) is the same way right now. He's 11 and his Xbox, friends, iPod with headphones are his favorite things right now

 

[Deleted member D3987]

So, ds is 12, and as you guys know, has had a rather rough summer. So attitude is in full force. Pre-teen, middle school, know-it-all attitude. So something I say is always construed differently. Something as simple as: What were you guys doing there at the end of practice? teen-translated means "you never think I am working!" and "are you going to do those workout sheets at home on the floor or can I throw them away" means " you are always yelling about what I don't do!"

Even something complimentary like "I saw your XYZ tonight and it looks good!" can mean that I think he sucks on all other events.

So, I am pledging now to not initate any conversations about gym after gym. Nothing. He can talk about anything he wants. My answers will remain upbeat and uninvolved. It helps that I am not watching much.

So, we shall see if it helps....

like i have told you all, as they approach 13 and beyond, they just don't want to talk about gymnastics. it becomes a 'job'. just like we, the adults, don't talk about our travails to our kids. they are tired and hungry and have homework to do after practice. reliving the 4 hour practice just becomes too much. and that must be respected.

 

[onelittledream]

like i have told you all, as they approach 13 and beyond, they just don't want to talk about gymnastics. it becomes a 'job'. just like we, the adults, don't talk about our travails to our kids. they are tired and hungry and have homework to do after practice. reliving the 4 hour practice just becomes too much. and that must be respected.

You know I have always heard of gymnastics (especially at elite level) referred to as a "career". I always looked and thought "but they are just kids."............now I am finally getting it!

 

[profmom]

like i have told you all, as they approach 13 and beyond, they just don't want to talk about gymnastics. it becomes a 'job'. just like we, the adults, don't talk about our travails to our kids. they are tired and hungry and have homework to do after practice. reliving the 4 hour practice just becomes too much. and that must be respected.

Very true. But it is nice when once in a while they come bubbling out of the gym to tell you about some moment of great awesomeness on their part or someone else's. I like the analogy to work, though -- sometimes I come home and give my poor husband an earful about everything that went wrong, and it's a good reminder to me that if someone is dumping on me about gym, my job is just to listen quietly and occasionally interject, "Yes, dear, you are completely right. That DOES stink. I would feel that way too." And then offer chocolate, as they're not old enough for a nice Scotch.

 

[skschlag]

like i have told you all, as they approach 13 and beyond, they just don't want to talk about gymnastics. it becomes a 'job'. just like we, the adults, don't talk about our travails to our kids. they are tired and hungry and have homework to do after practice. reliving the 4 hour practice just becomes too much. and that must be respected.

I know, I know. I just didn't want to believe you! LOL! I wanted to think he would be different. But we are going to go with this plan.

 

[skschlag]

Last night tested me I had dropped and run...to get home to watch the football game. (LOL). Picked him up. Boys were all a little testy. But I didn't ask! I started to about 10 times but bit my tongue. I heard the other boys in the lobby complaining and talkign about each other, and honestly, did not want him involved in that. So we talked about cookies instead.

The interesting part (maybe) is that his first meet that I get to see will be a total surprise. I have no idea if he can hit routines, what skills he can/can't do, etc. I feel like, for the first time, it truly is HIS thing. I have no idea what is going on. The hard part is, I will miss the first meet Guess that will make it even better..maybe?

 

[profmom]

But will you, unlike Munchkin, be able to get videographic evidence of how it went? LOL!

A conversation about cookies can never be bad.

 

[skschlag]

I hope so. I will be gettign regular texts, although, the venue has bad service so I am sure it will be iffy. LOL

 

[B&M's mom]

I know where you are coming from. My 14 year doesn't want me anywhere near the gym. When I pick her up, I've learned that I can only ask how practice was. If the answer is "good" then things went well. "Pretty good" means that something didn't go real well but other things did. "Bad" means anything from a bad mood to an injury. Usually she'll elaborate a bit on that one if she's hurt. "Fabulous" means really well and she'll generally tell me about it. But heaven forbid I ask any follow up questions to any of the above responses.

She's also requested that I not be present at certain meets. Apparently my very prescence in the building adds stress. Since it's her sport, I've agreed. So I have to throw myself on the mercy of the other parents to get a video of her routines.

 

[munchkin3]

Its not so bad to miss the first meet. I is liberating actually! Like you said skschlag, it is HIS thing, and a total surprise!
Just the fact that he landed A TSUK, (any tsuk) was impressive to me....i hope to see it at the next meet which I must get to see, because I am driving him...
I did lay down the law the other day, I was there a little earlier than the end of practice, at my DDs request. He was watching ME! Ready to give me 'far away' attitude from across the gym!
At that point I told him if he was going to keep acknowledging my existence during gym time, then I would walk right in and ask him quietly what he needs......I hope this nips it in the bud.

thank god my 10 yo still wants me there!!!! for now!!!