Parents First disappointing meet... And a lot of life lessons

[Natasha]

Has your daughter ever seen a L10 early in the season meet? It might help her with perspective. There are plenty of falls and mistakes at that level. My L9 dd had a pretty miserable day on bars a couple of weeks ago (a bunch of extra skills, 3 falls and an all time low score of 6.) This was after ending last season as bar champion. The next day the little girls competed and the coach used my dd's bar experience as an example for one of the girls that had a hard day and said it completely changed her attitude to know that even "the big girls" have bad days.
As she gets older and the skills get harder she will get used to having those days where you don't hit everything (or anything lol) I think that lesson just comes as you work through optionals.

 

[Ali'sMom]

This is her second competitive season in only two years of gymnastics.. This is the first time she was not top three in at least 3 events. She's 'that kid'.

But I still think that in hindsight it was good and humbling. That her disappointment in herself will only drive her to push harder. As her mom, I didn't care about lack of placement it was more just seeing the sheer disappointment in herself that broke my heart. But you win some and you WILL lose some... And I think when she has to face this again at some point in the future, she will only be better prepared!

Thank you everyone for the feedback!

I had "that kid" for old L2 and old L3. (that was one full year - only once not 1st AA).
Next year: new level 3. First meet, she came in 3rd in 3 events, and almost last on beam. 5th AA (GASP!).
She cried in the car, pretty much threw her medals across the car, and wanted to cry all the way home. But I wouldn't let her. We talked it through, we knew it would be a new/harder level, etc, etc. (truth be told, I had been waiting for a meet like this. She needed to learn what it was like not to be top 3 ALL.THE.TIME.) by the end of the year, she hit all of her own goals (staying on the beam AND making the 1/4 turn for dismount; 9's in all events - but even that day, she came in 5th AA, but was thrilled with herself because she got her "All 9's". A score goal, but not a placement goal

Move ahead to L4 this year: replay of beginning of last year, but man, did she handle it better. She was disappointed in her scores, (she had just come back from having mono and out for a month), but she reacted much better than the previous year. And she's still moving forward

Having a "less than stellar" meet here and there really is good, and helps for long term.

 

[Natasha]

This is why I wish USAG would stick to achievement only awards rather than placement awards for the introductory levels up through L3. It would help with the mindset of competing against yourself and working to improve your own performance, rather than worrying about placement at these levels which we all know has nothing to do with long term success or lack thereof in the sport.

 

[LJL07]

Just chiming in as another mom with a 7-year-old daughter. I think it's a good life lesson not to win every meet. There is always, always going to be someone better out there.

First of all, my DD would be absolutely thrilled to compete level 4 and score whatever, let alone place, but we live in an area where 7 year olds do not compete level 4. At her state meet last year as a 6 year old, she was solidly average in her age group scoring wise, and she medaled on bars only. I think she was disappointed for half a second until we went out to eat.

This season, she has been working hard to clean up her form and placing high on the podium, especially on bars. I really admire her attitude. And maybe she has a good attitude because she didn't win much last season. At one recent meet, the bars were new and very slippery, and she flew right off of them. Instead of tears or getting upset, she got right back up and finished her routine and then did well on the other events. I'm not sure I could have done that at 7.

It's only going to get harder and harder as they progress through the levels. I agree with setting personal goals instead of placement goals. At DD's last meet, she really wanted to score in the 9's on beam, and she finally did it. That was an even more exciting accomplishment than winning first place on bars. FWIW, she was third place too, and we were all thrilled.

 

[balancedmom]

this thread has been fascinating and informative. My DD did not get a single medal (ok, maybe 1) the entire year in L5 last year. It was a tough year, and I, at times, thought she might quit out of disappointment. I learned that the disappointment had less to do with medals and more to do with her disappointing herself-- she was falling off bars, beam, etc. She started setting goals for each meet that were internal. I had to remind her (and myself) that only a few kids can be the best, and at every meet there are kids who do not get medals

This year, in L6, she is getting on the podium (yay). But, the lessons from last year remain-- at the last meet, she set the goal of getting 9s in everything- an internal goal, not based on how other kids did). (and she almost did it) She knew that she still might not medal, but that year of no medals, while painful, set her up to really enjoy her accomplishments and learn to set her own goals. And, while I would have quit and sulked, that year just made her want to learn even more so she could improve.

 

[meganliz77]

Just a quick update----

Yesterday was DD's first meet since the one I posted about here in this thread. Her 3rd level 4 meet now under her belt...

Guess what? That stinker fell not once, but twice off the beam...

She has never fell from the beam during a meet. She completed her routine, dismounted, saluted. Went over to her teammates and I saw her cry for a moment. Her teammates quickly pitched in to make her smile and move on. Less than a minute or two later it was done. No ruminating. No sulking. And a few minutes before her routine, she had been the one cheering up her teammate who had missed her cartwheel.

Then she went and rocked it on floor (we think she took first... Awards were a bit ambiguous)... And her bar routine was great... In any event she was SO PROUD of her routines AND how she pulled it together.

This is such an amazing sport to watch my daughter grow up with....

Thank you all again!!

 

[profmom]

It's a huge step toward maturing when they learn to leave a horrible event behind them and can walk away from the rotation with their heads held high and rock the next event. Congratulations to her!