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[Avasmom]

I am new to this forum but just out of curiosity what type of personality do your gymnasts have? My daughter is a perfectionist in everything she does. She is way above average in school (top 10%) but she is always striving for the number 1 spot. She just starting competing and after her meet said I need bars mom. If you buy me bars I will practice everyday and be the best. I will be ready for my next competition. She got 13th overall and there were tons of fabulous competition. I was way more than proud of her but she was upset she didn't get more medals. She did the same thing when she played soccer. They talked to us about her competing in soccer but she doesn't love it like gymnastics. All of the gymnasts that I have met and talked to their parents seem to have the same personality.

It's a blessing and a curse!

 

[cbifoja]

Well let me introduce myself and my dd. lol. She is not a perfectionist. She is a "I've already done that once so what is next?" She is always looking forward to her next age, grade, level, stunt. She most definitely does NOT operate under the burden of perfection!

 

[lovemygymnast]

Welcome, Avasmom! Yes, I have a little perfectionist who is in gifted classes at school as well. She's very driven in everything she does.

 

[myliljunebugs]

I don't think I even realized my DD was a perfectionist until recently when she didn't win a contest in her team with bars dismount to see how far they could go. I tried telling her she is years younger and half a foot shorter than half her team but it didn't sway her that she should have won. It definitely opened my eyes. Her coach told me how much she loves her because she "is one of the hardest workers on the team" so I guess it's a good thing.

 

[Avasmom]

Ava's coach said that about her too. She is a hard worker. She called her "fierce".

 

[Amusibus]

Mine's not a perfectionist. Good enough is good enough for her. She's totally unaware of scores and placements, her school grades are average although she is bright. Her motto in life seems to be "Girls just want to have fun".

 

[NoDramaMama]

Mine is not a perfectionist. She is definitely competitive and enjoys making podium, but is also okay if she doesn't. She didn't start the season being ok with not making podium and her first level 3 meet culminated in her crying in my arms saying "I'm so disappointed in myself". I had to hold back my tears and talk with her about how we can only do our best and can't control the judges scores or how well other gymnasts do. Then, of course, came the discussion of crying after a meet is sign of poor sportsmanship (I believe it is - I know others may not). Ever since then, she sets her own goals for each event and regardless of scores or placement, will watch her video and STILL thinks quite highly of herself!!!! She is definitely not as intense as others, but takes gym serious, works hard and asks her coaches what she can do to improve almost every practice.

She fell on beam once during the season and got off beam, saluted and then was laughing that she couldn't believe that she fell. When she got her score, high 7's, she looked at me, shrugged, smiled and said "oh, well". The coaches adore her because she tries hard, is improving tremendously and is a lot of fun to coach (their words, not mine). I think she tends to chill out those that are a bit more intense.

 

[Committed]

DDs perfectionism comes and goes. She's also in the gifted class as school. I think she mainly is driven. Coaches and teachers compliment her on her tenacity and responsibility.
She also played soccer for the past 3 years, but would rather lose it than gymnastics.

 

[MILgymFAM]

Welcome!

I have one DD that is type A all the way, and one who is much more laid back.

My type A girl has been the #1 student in her grade for many years (she's in 8th grade), and is currently really mad she won't be recognized at graduation (we moved so her grades are from different schools, they only give awards to long term students of the school). She has something like an overall average of 107 and still does extra credit. She conditions at home and studies the code of points. She has had a rough season so far and I can say her personality drives her and drives me insane. We have had to talk about the joy in the sport and how it isn't diminished by bad scores. Her revelation tonight (finally) is that being the best in gym can only possibly refer to the best she can be. Whew for that!

My other DD is meh about school but still pulls all As and Bs. She loves to read, but not if its forced on her. At her first competition she got a zero on an event (she competes T&T) and she quite literally laughed (and danced) it off. Then she went on to place on the other two events. Sometimes I have to bug her to show she cares a little more. We butt heads often.

They are polar opposites! One frustrates me and the other gives me gray hairs.

 

[SurpriseGymMom]

My gymmie is most like cbifojas.... Not a perfectionist by any means, always wanting to move on the new things. She would much rather learn crazy flips and turns than perfect a beautiful BWO (for instance). This is NOT helpful inJO gymnastics, lol! She's a pretty happy-go-lucky kid, but lately has started to be more concerned about placing and scores (I think mostly seeing that most girls on her team score a lot higher than she)
She is however pretty advanced academically, consistently among the top in her class although she is always one of the youngest.

Her older sister (a dancer) is your stereotypical Type A, perfectionist, high achiever, gifted, extremely hard on herself. Works super hard and gets very frustrated when things don't turn out her way.

If I could, I would love to be able to take a little from one and give to the other, lol, as the gymmie could do with a little more work ethic and attention to detail and the dancer could do with a little more laissez-faire and learning to let things go and not affect her so much...

 

[JMACAZ]

I also have a perfectionist YDD and an laid back ODD. I am all for the merge option

 

[profmom]

Encourage her now to focus her perfectionism on her own skills and progress rather than comparing herself to other gymnasts. She should be happiest when she does a routine to the absolute best of her capability, whether that nets her the third lowest score on the event in that session or the top score. Even achieving the top score may not be satisfying to the child who knows he could have done it a little better. It's an interesting sport for a perfectionist, because it's all about failing and failing and failing until you succeed and then moving on to the next thing at which you will fail a million times.

 

[NoDramaMama]

Encourage her now to focus her perfectionism on her own skills and progress rather than comparing herself to other gymnasts. She should be happiest when she does a routine to the absolute best of her capability, whether that nets her the third lowest score on the event in that session or the top score. Even achieving the top score may not be satisfying to the child who knows he could have done it a little better. It's an interesting sport for a perfectionist, because it's all about failing and failing and failing until you succeed and then moving on to the next thing at which you will fail a million times.

That is sage advice from a gym mom veteran.

 

[lovemygymnast]

Encourage her now to focus her perfectionism on her own skills and progress rather than comparing herself to other gymnasts. She should be happiest when she does a routine to the absolute best of her capability, whether that nets her the third lowest score on the event in that session or the top score. Even achieving the top score may not be satisfying to the child who knows he could have done it a little better. It's an interesting sport for a perfectionist, because it's all about failing and failing and failing until you succeed and then moving on to the next thing at which you will fail a million times.

That is exactly my child! We always know if she feels she did her best. If she's good with how she did, she might wear her medals from the meet home or even all day depending. If she doesn't feel she did her best, the medals go right in her backpack. It doesn't matter if it's first place or not, if it wasn't her best, the medals aren't going to be worn! I love that she doesn't care about where anybody else places or scores, she makes her own goals and strives to achieve them. Love these strong little girls!

 

[dani4]

Neither of my kids are perfectionists. One is an intense workaholic (at 3 years old) but she can be heard mumbling "that's ok" to herself when she makes a mistake. The other is a free spirit, and we'll see how long this gymnastics thing lasts for her.

 

[sce]

Neither of my kids are perfectionists. One is an intense workaholic (at 3 years old) but she can be heard mumbling "that's ok" to herself when she makes a mistake.

I love this. Wish more kids could learn to do that!

 

[Avasmom]

I think it's awesome to always know my child tries 110% but then again if she doesn't master a skill as quick as she thinks she should she drives me crazy practicing it and wanting help. Her new thing is to ask for privates.

 

[sce]

I think it's awesome to always know my child tries 110% but then again if she doesn't master a skill as quick as she thinks she should she drives me crazy practicing it and wanting help. Her new thing is to ask for privates.

It is awesome, and it is your job to teach her how to balance it so that she does not overdue it. Praise her effort and perseverance but also remind her that it takes time and she can take breaks. ie not always be working at home or adding privates. You can also reinforce that the coach does the teaching. If she needs help on something then she should not be doing it at home. If it helps, talk to the coach and tell her she wants to work at home, ask what she can do from home and what the coach wants left in the gym. Make sure the coach knows what equipment you have at home.

 

[headoverheels]

My DD is a controller and a perfectionist, and gymnastics is perfect for her! She works hard and loves to master new skills, with the key word there being "master". She's not satisfied with good enough - she wants to be the best she can be. The flip side of that is that she can be unnecessarily hard on herself. At her last meet she didn't place in a single event and walked away with no medals whatsoever. It was a big eye-opener for her! We had a lot of discussions about how gymnastics is not about how many medals she can win, but instead about progressing and getting better and better. She may be almost 11 but she still likes to walk out of a meet with medals jingling around her neck. But the life lessons and discipline she is getting from this sport are priceless.

 

[motigymnasticsmom]

My DD is not a perfectionists by a long shot. She is in an excelled gifted program at school. I think its the challenge for her that gymnastics gives her. She. Is extraordinarily tall, so progress for her is slow. She's 12 1/2 and still loves the jingle of her medals!