Parents Disappointed, I think

[CLgym]

I can't believe I'm posting in the middle of the night -- but I just woke up and can't get back to sleep bc my mind is stuck on gymnastics. I have a 6 year old on the pre team at her gym (6 hrs / week). She is one of the "older" girls on the pre team (age range is 4-6). We get almost no feedback regarding progress, and have no contact with the main coaches at the gym. The one coach that sometimes steps out to talk with parents was asked about summer schedules today after practice. She said that some girls would stay put (presumably the younger girls), and others would move to Excel (suggesting the older girls). I asked if any of the girls would be moving into the USAG level 3 track, and was told the head coach had "taken" all of the girls she wanted for USAG for now. (She took three girls last fall, and one this winter). My DD's goal is to compete level 3, and I suspect she will feel very rejected. In addition, the Excel program at our gym functions more like a rec team in many ways (girls have unfocused/wild behavior, groups are big, little emphasis on form and conditioning, too much downtime, etc.) It's also worth noting that the USAG program at our gym is small with girls hand-picked at a very young age -- there is absolutely no opportunity of moving to USAG from a different team track later.

My DD was late to start gymnastics (only about a year ago) and has made great progress. In fact, she is the only pre team girl selected from the gym's huge rec program (the others came from an advanced preschool track). She is dedicated and attended every practice this fall/winter with a broken arm (lots of sit-ups and stretching!). I personally feel a little misled. She was invited to the pre team late September (when several girls moved up). I was told the head coach "really liked" her and USAG was specifically mentioned -- they even spent time with DD, had her watch the older USAG girls, and asked if she wanted to be a champion. So, she decided to give up several other activities and commit to gymnastics. I feel she has had insufficient time to really be assessed (especially with the broken arm keeping her activities limited for months).

So this is my question: Should I sit tight and wait to see the verdict, or should I reach out now and express DD's interest in pursuing USAG while they are currently discussing the girls' fates? And, if I reach out, how and to whom should I speak? And is it possible to advocate for DD without coming off like a pushy mom??

Thanks for any advice...

 

[suebee]

I would probably speak directly to the level 3 head coach that you speak of and I probably wouldn't wait. Since summer schedules are being discussed, this seems like a good time to bring it up. Does she have all her level 3 skills?

I don't think tha asking this coach whether she sees a future for your dd on the level 3 team is being "that mom", although I know others may disagree. (In my mind, asking over and over again, after you've ben told no, is being that mom!)

It sounds like your gym's USAG team is very selective and it may be that your dd doesn't meet their criteria. Especially if you would consider a gym switch to get her onto a level 3 team, you want to know what the possibilities are at the current gym so you can start looking elsewhere.

 

[Aussie_coach]

I also suggest you speak directly to the head coach, let the,monos your daughters aspirations and hopefully you will be able to find out if this will ever even be possible at your gym.

It might be worth looking into,other gyms.

 

[Along4theRide]

I believe both Xcel (bronze, silver, gold, etc) and Junior Olympic (JO; levels 2-10) are both within USAG. Here in region 8, a good number of high quality gyms compete both. My dd's gym chose to compete primarily Xcel a few years ago when JO made changes (and other reasons), but are still highly competitive.

It sounds like a completely different situation at your gym. I just wanted to share that some gyms compete Xcel with the same dedication to skill\form as JO.

Good luck talking to your coaches! They might not be aware of her aspirations. Can't hurt to ask. Worst case scenario: it will become clear that another program might suit her better.

 

[CLgym]

Along4thRide -- Yes, thanks for your post. I knew that Xcel was within USAG, and potentially a very strong program. A program that some girls/gyms prefer for its flexibility. At our gym, for whatever reason, JO is referred to as "USAG" and Xcel is... well... Xcel. So I fell into that language in my post.

And thanks for the advice so far, everyone!

 

[ginnymac]

I agree with above.

Also, your now 6yo dd did not "start gymnastics late" at 5 years old. I would be looking elsewhere (if possible) for a gym that doesn't have that mentality/culture.

5yo is not a late start for most gym philosophies.

 

[EastCoastGymMom]

Your dd is definitely not "too old" for JO, especially since she is already participating in a 6 hour a week pre-team program. You should let the coach know that your dd is interested in level 3 and see if it's an option for her this year or even next year. If not, you should look at other gyms. Your dd may need another year of pre-team if you change gyms, but then she will be even more prepared for Level 3 when the time comes.

 

[IreneKa]

Don't sit and wait. Try to get in touch with JO coaches and ask them to be honest about your DD's chances of joining the team. If they've really already picked out anyone they are interested in, go somewhere else.
We were in a similar situation two years ago, at a gym where they handpick the girls for their JO team. At the age of 7 DD was put on Xcel team, and when I asked if she could switch to JO, the HC said he had "very high standards" and he "doesn't see it in her". We went to another gym, and DD happily competes level 4 now. Yes, she might not be going to the Olympics, and she can't beat the girls from that gym. Those girls are awesome, as they should be, considering they only pick the best of the best. But DD is enjoying the sport and progressing at her own pace.
At 6 your DD is definitely not on the older side, but you don't want to wait too long. Good luck!

 

[aerials]

I agree with the others, don't wait. Now is the time to push. There is a gym around here that is just like you described. If your child is not one of the hand picked by age 4 or 5 you have no chance. If your asking gets you nowhere then you know it's time to find another gym.

By the way I think it's rediculous that you have to push at this age. I hate that some teams instill this philosophy and it seems that more and more are doing it.

 

[gymmomtotwo]

Run, don't walk away from a gym that shuts kids out of the JO program at age 6.

 

[gymmomtotwo]

I should go into more detail. I saw anywhere from just a few 7 year olds to 14 year old compete level 4. 7 and 8 year olds were definitely in the minority with 9 and 10 being the most common. This is the norm. Are they going to the Olympics? No. But our girls won level 4 state with 2 eight year olds, 4 9 year olds, 3 10 year old and 2 11s. No one was a repeater. The gym move kids forward based on skill, not score or placement. They move kids over from Xcel if they want and have the ability. Age is not a big factor.The hotshot 7 and 8 year olds who fast track and skip are very unusual and do not make up the bulk of most teams. Find another gym.

 

[Midwestmommy]

Six is not late too start gymnastics, isn't it crazy that some coaches will actually say that with a straight face? I would ask very directly about JO. If that is her goal and she is not being given the opportunity there, you may need to look at other gyms. Don't languish too long while getting the runaround. The "best" gym in the area isn't the best for every kid. Sounds like their JO space is limited, they focus less on Xcel, and your daughter may not be able to realize her full potential there.. With that said, if she is in a preteam that feeds into both JO and Xcel, so it sounds like you need to have a conversation with them about it. Beware of getting strung along for a half a year, another half a year, another year, and then they may tell you she is too old to move over to JO (meanwhile other kids in JO the same age are getting much better conditioning and coaching and of course are progressing faster--the old self-fufilling prophesy of the JO preteam selection criteria)... You are at one of the junctures that is hard for a parent, trying to figure out if she is at the right gym to realize her full potential. She won't necessarily benefit from being at the gym with the top program and coaches in the state, if those coaches are over in the other room or way across the floor working with someone else's kid....

 

[Deleted member 14190]

If she has only been in Gym for a year, then she just needs another year. She is 6.... That is not old... There are tens of thousands of 8 year old level 3s in our country, very medium age, which is what she will be after a additional year of training.

 

[mommyof1]

Your daughter's situation sounds very much like my daughter's at her former gym. Coaches getting the kid's hopes up about moving to JO team with no follow-through, no communication with gym management, etc. We ended up switching gyms after allowing our daughter to be strung along for way too long. I am pretty sure that our delay in moving her cost her nearly a year's worth of progress, but hindsight is 20/20.

I would not hesitate to make sure that the decision-makers know of your daughter's interest in the JO track, and I would definitely not accept a spot in XCEL if that's not what she wants. Another year on preteam would not necessarily be such a bad thing if she were getting solid training that would lead to L3 readiness, but if she is grouped with 4-year-olds that may not be likely. In our area at least, early spring is the best time to be checking out other gyms, as contracts are usually due in late spring and move-ups tend to occur when school gets out.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

She is 6, that's little, not old

In our area at least, early spring is the best time to be checking out other gyms, as contracts are usually due in late spring and move-ups tend to occur when school gets out.

This most gyms are working on their upcoming season stuff, during the summer. Changing in the fall can cost a year.

 

[sce]

My DD was late to start gymnastics (only about a year ago) and has made great progress.

So this is my question: Should I sit tight and wait to see the verdict, or should I reach out now and express DD's interest in pursuing USAG while they are currently discussing the girls' fates? And, if I reach out, how and to whom should I speak? And is it possible to advocate for DD without coming off like a pushy mom??

Thanks for any advice...

Uh, a 5yo in no way late to start gymnastics! Many start later. 5 is pretty normal.

I would ask for a meeting with the HC. Express your dd's interest in JO and ask for feedback and if they have a plan for her. Asking in the right way is not pushy. Insisting she get moved even if the gym does not feel she is ready would be pushy. Also, better to know now if they won't consider her for JO. At that point you know if you should stay at this gym or look for a place that will give her a chance at JO.

 

[CLgym]

Thank you, everyone. The replies have been great (remarkably similar!) in giving me direction and putting things in perspective. I will keep you posted.

 

[Dka]

Unbelievable my dd did not enter a gym until 2 months after her 7 th birthday and competed old level 4 the very next season. She went from 4-8 in three years! she is not too old, that is ridiculous....

 

[Yuenling]

When I was first reading your post, my first thought was that your daughter is not old at all. It sounds like everyone else here has given you the same reply.

 

[tooootsie]

Why at 6 is she stressing so much? My 6 y/o competed JO3 in fall 2014 and will likely repeat in fall 2015, kid is totally cool with it and goes with the flow of whatever. Even my 8 year old might repeat JO3 and is fine with this. I think just let whatever happens happen and try not to overly stress. She can tell you are stressing and maybe that is why she is stressing? Nothing wrong with competing Excel first. I actually kind of wish my girls had done excel for a season before JO. They had never competed prior to JO and I feel like it would have helped their confidence. My kids have both been in gymnastics since they were 2 years old. It is a slow progression to make team