I need some guidance! I apologize for the length of this post in advance!! My DD is a 9 year old Level 6. Actually, they just had their State Meet, so she should be training for Level 7 now. Best meet she’s ever had…scored a 38.5 all around (sorry, proud mama moment!!) When she was 7, she was doing her robhsbt pretty consistently; however, one random day at practice it looked like she totally forgot what she was doing and froze mid-air in the middle of her back tuck and landed straight on her back. She was ok and went about the rest of practice. A couple of weeks later, same thing happened again, only this time it led to her becoming more and more afraid of the skill. Her coach’s (one coach in particular) way of getting her past her fear was every single wrong tactic possible.
One day I came to practice and the coach had her on the trampoline for how knows how long before I got there, but my DD was standing there in tears, frozen with fear and unable to move while her coach told her she couldn’t go home until she did 10 in a row. Coaches would tell her they would spot her and then move at the last moment and not actually spot her. This one coach had some of the older girls tell my DD that she would never win any meets if she didn’t start doing this one skill. Told her they would move her to the baby group, etc, etc, etc. Fast forward weeks of bullying, demeaning and degrading by this one particular coach, actions and things said that I won’t even mention or repeat because I get so angry, she completely stopped all backwards tumbling. My once, never could get enough of the gym child, was now scared of gym. I had no idea just how bad it was until the anxiety and fear and tears started coming out and showing themselves while we were at home.
Needless to say, we moved gyms; however, so much damage had already been done. When we moved gyms, they moved her down a level to take the pressure off. We moved in the middle of competition season and elected not to let her compete-we just wanted her to go to practice, get to know the girls, the coaches, and just start having fun again. Her new coaches were awesome and by the time the next compulsory season started (last August), she was tumbling backwards again, even doing her robhsbt. Now, when she did her robhsbt it was SOOOOO slow. I’m assuming it was her way of having control since so much control was taken away from her at her old gym.
She competed Level 5 in August and then Level 6 in January. She did fairly well at both, just not quite back to her old, confident self. Then, she hit her toes on the pit bar in practice while doing flyaways and she started having fear about the flyaway. At one of her recent meets, they had her scratch bars because she balked a few times in warm up, which seemed to be the perfect response. So if you are still with me after reading all of that….here’s my question. Should we pursue counseling with a sports psychologist? I know some parents are pretty adamant they would never do that just because their child was facing fear and while I may even agree with that, I don’t think this is your average, every day fear. So much trust and control was taken from her, I’m wondering if counseling is the right move. The very last thing we want to do is make things worse, say or do the wrong thing and have the fear spread like it did before. It was such a hard, painful year for her to come back, I do not want her to go back to the mental, frozen place she was! Her coaches are being awesome and have made many concessions for her, but there will come a point over the summer where if she isn’t doing what she needs to for level 7, flyaway and layout, she’ll have to move down to a different group, which I’m worried will only further decrease her confidence. She doesn’t want to quit gymnastics, she so badly wants to be able to move away from the fear, she just doesn’t know how. I would love some coaches’ points of view and some experienced parent’s point of view!! Any suggestions?
One day I came to practice and the coach had her on the trampoline for how knows how long before I got there, but my DD was standing there in tears, frozen with fear and unable to move while her coach told her she couldn’t go home until she did 10 in a row. Coaches would tell her they would spot her and then move at the last moment and not actually spot her. This one coach had some of the older girls tell my DD that she would never win any meets if she didn’t start doing this one skill. Told her they would move her to the baby group, etc, etc, etc. Fast forward weeks of bullying, demeaning and degrading by this one particular coach, actions and things said that I won’t even mention or repeat because I get so angry, she completely stopped all backwards tumbling. My once, never could get enough of the gym child, was now scared of gym. I had no idea just how bad it was until the anxiety and fear and tears started coming out and showing themselves while we were at home.
Needless to say, we moved gyms; however, so much damage had already been done. When we moved gyms, they moved her down a level to take the pressure off. We moved in the middle of competition season and elected not to let her compete-we just wanted her to go to practice, get to know the girls, the coaches, and just start having fun again. Her new coaches were awesome and by the time the next compulsory season started (last August), she was tumbling backwards again, even doing her robhsbt. Now, when she did her robhsbt it was SOOOOO slow. I’m assuming it was her way of having control since so much control was taken away from her at her old gym.
She competed Level 5 in August and then Level 6 in January. She did fairly well at both, just not quite back to her old, confident self. Then, she hit her toes on the pit bar in practice while doing flyaways and she started having fear about the flyaway. At one of her recent meets, they had her scratch bars because she balked a few times in warm up, which seemed to be the perfect response. So if you are still with me after reading all of that….here’s my question. Should we pursue counseling with a sports psychologist? I know some parents are pretty adamant they would never do that just because their child was facing fear and while I may even agree with that, I don’t think this is your average, every day fear. So much trust and control was taken from her, I’m wondering if counseling is the right move. The very last thing we want to do is make things worse, say or do the wrong thing and have the fear spread like it did before. It was such a hard, painful year for her to come back, I do not want her to go back to the mental, frozen place she was! Her coaches are being awesome and have made many concessions for her, but there will come a point over the summer where if she isn’t doing what she needs to for level 7, flyaway and layout, she’ll have to move down to a different group, which I’m worried will only further decrease her confidence. She doesn’t want to quit gymnastics, she so badly wants to be able to move away from the fear, she just doesn’t know how. I would love some coaches’ points of view and some experienced parent’s point of view!! Any suggestions?
good luck.
