Coaches Handling very competitive gymnasts

DON'T LURK... Join The Discussion!

Members see FEWER ads

GymRays

Coach
Proud Parent
I have a gymnast who is 8, has competed lvl 3 and is currently Xcel silver. She is very competitive. The problem is she gets so anxious and nervous before meets that its has led to her actually pulling out of a meet just days before hand. She worries she won't be the best one there or she won't place first on any events. This does two things, it either makes her so anxious that she doesn't want to compete or so fired up and competitive to be the best that when she's not it wreaks her world. I know this causes problems with her parents because they are now hesitant to even sign her up for a meet. They don't know how to handle this or how to teach her to cope.
She doesn't have much experience in competing xcel outside of her fellow silvers since the meets we did this year ended with us being the only team competing silver. We may have done one meet with other gyms and she was top gymnast. Now we have states coming up and the family is questioning if she could handle a big meet like that. She is a great gymnast and could do very well at states.
As a coach how would you go about helping her understand realistic expectations and coping with competition? Is there are resources I can give to the parents to help them with her?
 
Oh, I know her male equivalent, he's nine and on our boys's team! (haha)


I would try looking into why she feels like she needs to win. Is it her personality (in that case the behaviour would probably carry over to other areas like school work or craft projects) or are there external forces responsible (bullying, perceived pressure to perform from coaches, parents, teammates etc.)?

With our guy, we feel like he might be partly compensating for the troubles he has with his teachers, who are - at least according to his mom - constantly beating up his self-confidence by telling him he's a bad student and a show-off.
So really, all I'm trying to say is it could be anything that attributes to her nerves.


Not knowing the cause here, I think I would openly (but not too obviously) advertise skill goals over score and placement goals in practice to the whole team, so she doesn't feel targeted or singled out.
In fact, avoid talking about scores and placement alltogether. After a routine, I'd tell her "great form on that BHS" or "awesome leaps" instead of something like "that routine would have scored so well" or "you could sweep everyone else away with that".
And I'd focus on telling her, more often than others, that all she can do is her best in that particular moment in time, that bad days happen to everyone and that you are proud of her efforts no matter what. That's something you can definitely get the parents involved in as well (if for some reason they're not already telling her this).
 
I do keep all competition conversations non score, goal focused. After a meet we go back over the goals we set and discuss what was met, what was not and what we can do about it for the next meet.

So points to add that I feel play a part, she had three siblings, all in gymnastics and mom is her coach. Her older sibling is also on the pre team with her. Let's just say it get complicated and there are many many dynamics that play into this. Her DM/coach is very easy to talk to and understands her situation is unique and complicated and she does her best. However her girls tend to get "inside info" before the other kids and she is coming to understand she has to stop leaking gym info.

With this in mind. Would it work better if maybe all gym related questions/concerns her DD has be brought to myself or our other coach only, not to coach mom? Would keeping her coach responsibly strictly to teaching skills in the gym and placing the answering of questions with me only help? For instance, of its time to move up and her DD isn't where we need her to move her up.....if it comes from me and I answer her questions as to why, then I'm in the "bad guy" position and DM/coach can stay in the role of supportive parent easier. She can also fall back to, that is what Coach said is going to happen this season, and not have the blame on herself.

Not sure this all makes sense. I'm still working through it all myself and trying to find a way to help her learning competitive coping skills and still keep the love she has for the sport.

I will try to dig a little deeper with a possibly cause.

Any advice is welcome for me or for a DM/coach.
 
Sometimes athletes place a lot of importance on competitions and placing, even when the gym and family don't.

I think one way to lessen the pressure on meets is to encourage a vibrant team spirit among the girls. It makes cheering for their teammates more fun, takes the emphasis away from the individual's performance; and sometimes encouragement from peers can mean a lot more than reassurances from parents/coaches. It also makes the whole ordeal of a meet, especially one you have to travel to, a lot more enjoyable and less competition-centered since they get to do something exciting with their gym friends. E.g. when we used to go to meets near Minneapolis/St. Paul we'd always go to Mall of America afterwards as a team and get our nails done and stuff. The actual gymnastics competition was the least memorable part of those weekends.

It's also important that she get used to not placing first and even not placing. I don't know about the Xcel/JO distinction in your area, but what I've seen suggests that it's a lot easier both to get high scores and to place in Xcel competitions. If she is going to continue in the JO track, she will probably not always be on the podium in the future, especially as she advances through the levels. If she's one of the best-performing gymnasts right now in her training group, that probably doesn't help her competitive expectations of herself. I don't know how your gym does it, but we used to divide all the optionals roughly by size/age (for equipment settings and social purposes) for training groups. I was a new level 7 and getting to train with level 9s and 10s was both inspiring and humbling.
 
I have a gymnast who is 8, has competed lvl 3 and is currently Xcel silver. She is very competitive. The problem is she gets so anxious and nervous before meets that its has led to her actually pulling out of a meet just days before hand. She worries she won't be the best one there or she won't place first on any events. This does two things, it either makes her so anxious that she doesn't want to compete or so fired up and competitive to be the best that when she's not it wreaks her world. I know this causes problems with her parents because they are now hesitant to even sign her up for a meet. They don't know how to handle this or how to teach her to cope.
She doesn't have much experience in competing xcel outside of her fellow silvers since the meets we did this year ended with us being the only team competing silver. We may have done one meet with other gyms and she was top gymnast. Now we have states coming up and the family is questioning if she could handle a big meet like that. She is a great gymnast and could do very well at states.
As a coach how would you go about helping her understand realistic expectations and coping with competition? Is there are resources I can give to the parents to help them with her?
They don't know how to handle it? BRING HER TO THE MEET AND DROP HER OFF! :) problem solved. You post should say, how to handle parents who have no parental influence over a kid. :)
 
I talked with coach/mom she is going to try to redirect any gym specific question to me. She has decided to sign her DD up for states. I believe her DD just needs more experience with competing. I'm not there to witness the aftermath at home emotional " meltdowns" , but hopefully with time she will cope better. Mom and I are both on the same page with not making states " more important " than any other meet and keep sticking to focusing on goals.
They are good parents and have tried all season to reinforce the important things to focus on when we have meets and have tried to help her cope better....they just don't feel its helping any. Thanks for all the input. I hope I can make states a fun and positive experience for all my gymnasts and hopefully this one in particular will handle it better.
 
They don't know how to handle it? BRING HER TO THE MEET AND DROP HER OFF! :) problem solved. You post should say, how to handle parents who have no parental influence over a kid. :)

i concur. just drop her off. sink or swim. when in Rome do as the Romans...
 
So lets get this straight.This parent enters her child for a comp and then the child starts stressing that she cannot bear to take part and not win.The mother then validates the child's position by pulling her out!!
Wow the counsellors in your town will do well out of this kid a few years down the line!!
 
Thanks for the update. I was wondering :)

I just talked to mom tonight. She competes tomorrow. She said she has her goals set, and she was staring to get nervous. I sent her a pre meet jitters info sheet from a women's gymnastics journal workbook I have. I'm hoping she will use it as a guide for her on calming her anxiety. Only time will tell.
 

DON'T LURK... Join The Discussion!

Members see FEWER ads

Gymnaverse :: Recent Activity

College Gym News

Back