WAG When you quietly leave your gym but the owner wages war?

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GymCMLA

Proud Parent
So do I walk away or do I defend myself to the owner or the other team parents?

Long story short, we are leaving after 9 years at our gym b/c of emotionally abusive coaching.
But about 2 months ago they hired another coach. We discovered that he has a violent criminal background. Owner didn't do a background check. (It was found on google, and confirmed with the clerk in that county, all public record)

So as parents who are already upset with the coaching issues now hear about this (they lied and said he had pink eye, then said he was never coming back) owner sends out an email, that is not accurate, is covering up the issue trying to save "face" with the parents.

I want to email the team and explain my side of the story. (The booster officers discussed the finding of the criminal history and I was the one to email as I already knew I was leaving the gym later that week)

So do I email them (the team), do I respond to the owner or do I walk away? The whole place is such a mess. I am pleased to be out.
 
If you are pleased to be out, just be out. Seriously if it is as bad as you say and folks stay, its their choice.

If there is a serious and legitimate concern about a criminal issue and it is a matter of public record and guilt has been proven not just accusation and speculation. Speak your mind.

No verdict rendered stay out of it.

I am not sure what you are defending??????
 
Yeah I'm missing something here too....what is the owner waging war on ? Objecting to the fact that you don't want a violent ex-con near your kid? I'd be done there too, and would make no apologies or explanations for it...
 
Its real, but he didn't appear for court (bench warrant still out)
Owner did terminate him, but owner using me as a target for his self preservation while writing the teams to tell them about the situation which he had hoped wouldn't come up. (hence the pink eye and then told the girls he wouldn't be back) And he is using a document to "prove his point" that doesn't match the original case number.

I am glad to be out.
I am glad this coach is not in the gym for the kids safety's sake.
I do not like that he "used" me in the email and it was not a positive light.
 
I feel like I want to share my side of the story with the team parents, but they know me so I hope that they trust I did what was in the best interest of the kids.
 
I tend to ask myself, down the road will it really matter, as in matter still.

Very little in life does and I move on.
 
I would just move on, if you have any parents you are friends with I would maybe explain myself to them personally, but not a mass email to everyone d
 
Another one here for moving on. If what you say is true (and I totes believe you), then others will find out in time as this stuff often is hard to keep quiet. And once others find out this may push them to explore other gyms, especially if they were already questioning/unhappy. Be happy that you are ahead of the rest and out of there! Especially if there's an exodus and a likely finite number of spots open at other gyms.
 
I wouldn't get involved with parents.

However. If you think children are at risk from the coaching, and they have hired, and might hire coaches again without checking criminal records, I'd be reporting them to social services, or usag, or whoever it is out there with the power to investigate.

Here (UK) anyone working with children has to have a full criminal record check, and it would be a very serious safeguarding breach if they didn't.

You might tell the parents that are there now, but there'll be newbies year after year putting kids at risk.
 
As infuriating as the situation is, my vote is also for walking away. Provide the correct information to people you know and if they want to take responsibility for contacting others, they can. I think that if the owner has already gone this far, he won't hesitate to up the ante, and you'll have enough to do getting settled in a new gym.
 
So do I email them (the team), do I respond to the owner or do I walk away? The whole place is such a mess. I am pleased to be out.
We got trashed by the gym on social media when we left a few years ago (never mentioned by name, but a series of posts complaining in generalities that were clearly trying to paint us as something we aren't). I don't think anyone paid much attention to it. We know the parents, we still talk to them regularly and we all get along. We're friendly with the coaches when we run into them at meets, even the coaches that posted negative comments.

They were frustrated, vented (unfortunately publicly), we ignored it, and everyone mostly gets along now.
 
OK, thanks. I am going to walk away. I talked with some parents I know well and they think everyone understands that he is trying to cover things up as well as he can.
I won't give him the ammunition of any reply or anymore time from me.
I hope that he will change his practices and background check everyone upon hire (opposed to waiting 3-6 months for them to do their USAG safety certification which he does "in theory" require, but there is/was a lax timeline.
 
OK, thanks. I am going to walk away. I talked with some parents I know well and they think everyone understands that he is trying to cover things up as well as he can.
I won't give him the ammunition of any reply or anymore time from me.
I hope that he will change his practices and background check everyone upon hire (opposed to waiting 3-6 months for them to do their USAG safety certification which he does "in theory" require, but there is/was a lax timeline.
Yes, just take the high road and let it go. If that coach was still posing a risk, I would certainly make sure parents knew, but now that he's gone, just move on & count your blessings you're out of there.
 
So do I walk away or do I defend myself to the owner or the other team parents?

Long story short, we are leaving after 9 years at our gym b/c of emotionally abusive coaching.
But about 2 months ago they hired another coach. We discovered that he has a violent criminal background. Owner didn't do a background check. (It was found on google, and confirmed with the clerk in that county, all public record)

So as parents who are already upset with the coaching issues now hear about this (they lied and said he had pink eye, then said he was never coming back) owner sends out an email, that is not accurate, is covering up the issue trying to save "face" with the parents.

I want to email the team and explain my side of the story. (The booster officers discussed the finding of the criminal history and I was the one to email as I already knew I was leaving the gym later that week)

So do I email them (the team), do I respond to the owner or do I walk away? The whole place is such a mess. I am pleased to be out.
You will never regret taking the high road in life. Ever.... Run and don't look back!
 
I agree about taking the high road. I am going through something with roads right now that is entirely NOT related to my kid's sport. And can I just say that it sucks to always take the high road:D! D*mnit, one of these times I would just LOVE to take that low road, heh heh heh....to dream...the impossible dream....
It's a great dream though.
 
I think you are right to walk away. We got a mass email once (it was dance studio drama) and I have never rolled my eyes so hard. I don't care if you're "right", it just looks bad. As long as no child is in imminent danger and parents are aware of the situation regarding the coach, pack your bags, walk away and don't waste any more energy.
 
And sometines when you take the high road, karma kicks in and makes it all worthwhile. We had gym mom drama this oadt season and I stepped back and didn't engage. The mom wound up sending an email to all the team parents and coaches that made her look like a three year old taking his toys.

You won't regret being the mature one.
 
So do I walk away or do I defend myself to the owner or the other team parents?

Long story short, we are leaving after 9 years at our gym b/c of emotionally abusive coaching.
But about 2 months ago they hired another coach. We discovered that he has a violent criminal background. Owner didn't do a background check. (It was found on google, and confirmed with the clerk in that county, all public record)

So as parents who are already upset with the coaching issues now hear about this (they lied and said he had pink eye, then said he was never coming back) owner sends out an email, that is not accurate, is covering up the issue trying to save "face" with the parents.

I want to email the team and explain my side of the story. (The booster officers discussed the finding of the criminal history and I was the one to email as I already knew I was leaving the gym later that week)

So do I email them (the team), do I respond to the owner or do I walk away? The whole place is such a mess. I am pleased to be out.

i have sent you a PM and please respond.
 

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