WAG Feeling like I'm not good enough, please help.

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SweetSecrets15

Coach
Gymnast
So I've recently just made my gyms Xcel Platinum team, I'm 17 and this is my 3rd year of gymnastics. I've been feeling really discouraged lately because a lot of the people on my team are younger than me and way better than me. Or they're my age and 10x better. Not only are they better, but they make improvements, have good form, and just are better gymnasts. I always feel like I'm not good enough and I don't deserve to be on the team.

Today at practice on beam my coach gave me all these assignments but I couldn't do any of them because I couldn't even do the first one (double bwo) I kept falling to the side on my first bwo. I literally spent 30 minutes falling on one bwo. I have this terrible habit of bending my supporting leg in order to get over so I was trying to go with my leading leg lifted a bit and not bending my supporting leg. But I just couldn't make any. Even worse, everyone around me is flying through their assignments and doing skills like bhs, switch leaps, or RO BT dismounts. And I'm struggling on such a beginner skill (which I've had for a while now)

Then on bars my stupid kips are holding me back from connecting anything out of it. I've had my kips for about half a year now and I still can't do it without bending my arms badly. It makes connecting my squat on, freehips, and handstands almost impossible. I don't know I'm still bending my arms and I try super hard to keep them straight but I just can't! I always have to add a cast after my kip.

And of course floor (my worst event) is so inconsistent it drives me crazy. One practice everything will be nice, connected, and high. But most it just sucks. I've had my RO BHS for 2 years and I still have trouble with it sometimes. RO BHS are the easiest skills for people to get and I still have problems with it sometimes.

Then my form just sucks, my toe point is nonexistent, my back isn't flexible, my wrists are weak, and I just feel like I'm never going to be good enough. It's so frustrating and I feel like I'm letting everyone down and honestly most practices and I just feel like falling down and crying. I worked so hard to get where to I am and I have nothing to show for it. Idk what to do anymore. Gymnastics is my passion and I would love nothing else than to do it all the time, but when you suck you just feel like a failure. Sorry this is so long, I'm just really upset right now.
 
Keep your chin up. It's take a certain something to keep putting yourself out there, and that something speaks volumes about you. This weekend I sat through a lot of lectures about leaning into discomfort- it's apparently where the magic happens, and never giving up on your passions. You need to stop comparing yourself to others and start comparing yourself to yourself. I bet you can do things today that you couldn't three years ago- a bunch of things. Sometimes my DD gets down on herself about gym too- she trains with girls well above her level- but I remind her that it's her journey not theirs. Three years in gymnastics is just a tiny drop- my DD is 13 and has teammates who have been doing this a decade! If you love it, keep fighting for it, and I promise it will be worth it in the end- no matter what scores you get or competitions you are in.
 
It's good to vent, and this is a great place for it. No matter how you are compared to other gymnasts, you are still doing AMAZING things that most people (including most CB parents, I'd dare to say!) will never be able to do. The fact that you started gymnastics at 14 is super brave, and to be Platinum in only 3 years is great! You definitely need to only compare yourself to YOU. How you are improving, and having fun! You didn't start at 3 like a lot of your teammates, and that's fine. This is YOUR story, so make it a great one! :) At 17 you probably have a lot more stresses than younger kids too, so pat yourself on the back for juggling it all. You are allowed to feel down sometimes, but it's what you do with it and how you rebound that counts. Even if the other kids are more advanced, you are older, so they are looking up to you. Show them how strong and resilient you are! I think it's very mature and healthy that you are expressing your feelings and wanting to improve. You will be an even better gymnast and person because of it. Make sure to celebrate your victories! :) Good luck and please vent anytime!!!
 
Keep your chin up. It's take a certain something to keep putting yourself out there, and that something speaks volumes about you. This weekend I sat through a lot of lectures about leaning into discomfort- it's apparently where the magic happens, and never giving up on your passions. You need to stop comparing yourself to others and start comparing yourself to yourself. I bet you can do things today that you couldn't three years ago- a bunch of things. Sometimes my DD gets down on herself about gym too- she trains with girls well above her level- but I remind her that it's her journey not theirs. Three years in gymnastics is just a tiny drop- my DD is 13 and has teammates who have been doing this a decade! If you love it, keep fighting for it, and I promise it will be worth it in the end- no matter what scores you get or competitions you are in.

What you said about comparing myself to myself really hit something in me. Thank you so much, you are right. I probably wouldn't feel so bad if I stopped paying so much attention and energy to what my teammates are doing. Thank you for your kind words!
 
It's good to vent, and this is a great place for it. No matter how you are compared to other gymnasts, you are still doing AMAZING things that most people (including most CB parents, I'd dare to say!) will never be able to do. The fact that you started gymnastics at 14 is super brave, and to be Platinum in only 3 years is great! You definitely need to only compare yourself to YOU. How you are improving, and having fun! You didn't start at 3 like a lot of your teammates, and that's fine. This is YOUR story, so make it a great one! :) At 17 you probably have a lot more stresses than younger kids too, so pat yourself on the back for juggling it all. You are allowed to feel down sometimes, but it's what you do with it and how you rebound that counts. Even if the other kids are more advanced, you are older, so they are looking up to you. Show them how strong and resilient you are! I think it's very mature and healthy that you are expressing your feelings and wanting to improve. You will be an even better gymnast and person because of it. Make sure to celebrate your victories! :) Good luck and please vent anytime!!!


Thank you for the reassurance! I was a bit worried that someone might think I was being dramatic or throwing a pity party. Thank you for putting everything in perspective for me. I should be proud that I made it so far considering my history in the sport. I won't use it as an excuse to slack but I'll definitely keep it in mind next time I feel like coming down on myself so hard.
 
You are doing awesome and have made amazing progress in a short time! Worrying about the other girls steals the joy from your accomplishments. Remember, only a few girls every 4 years are Olympians. You are working so hard and have no reason to feel like you don't deserve a place on your team Keep at it and don't let anyone tell you that you can't. You're nearly a grown lady in the eyes of the law and can learn what you want. Congrats on your current skills and progress!
 
"Comparison is the thief of joy"

is something I tell myself often. Not just in relation to gymnastics, but a lot of aspects of life.

Someone is always going to be better than you at something. Someone is always going to have a bigger house, better car, better job, more money, more holidays etc etc etc. and when you compare yourself, you stop being happy about what you do have when in reality, you would be perfectly happy had you not thought about what others have!

You sound very talented, and it takes a brave person to start gymnastics at 14, and to make it so far in 3 years! Wow!
 
To do that much in three years is amazing first of all. In three years I bot to l4/l5 skills. Someone will always be better than you, but you need to just strive to be better than yourself. Yesterday you couldn't do_____ but today you can. To be completly honest, it sounds like you just aren't strong enough. The things your struggling with sound like strength and timing issues, so maybe sit down with your coach and get a home schedule for conditioning, maybe do a private lesson for the skills you struggle with. You sound very talented, keep it going and good luck!
 
I think that if your gym put you on the Platinum team, that says that they believe in you. So YOU need to believe in yourself. Clearly, someone with experience saw something in you that is worth developing, so you do have talent. Go into the gym every single day ready to put it all on the line, give everything you've got.

As far as comparison, the other posters have had wise words. It's a process to really learn that lesson. I'm an adult, and I'm still learning it. Don't be too hard on yourself. :)
 
Xcel platinum is pretty high for xcel. And to get there in just 3 years is amazing. Good for you got starting the sport, heck in this day starting any sport, for the first time at she 14. You are doing great. Some days everything seems to go wrong. You can't base your worth or ability level on one day.
 
Wow, I typed that on my phone and spent a lot of time changing the auto-correct that it kept doing. LOL it still totally messed up my post, sorry!
 

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