Parents sleepovers during meet season?

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SHELOVESGYM

Proud Parent
Whenever DD (7.5) has a sleepover she seems exhausted for the next day at least. She has just been invited for a sleepover this Friday. On Sat she has both 3 hour gym practice plus a rare private with her coach -so I'm leaning towards saying no for the sleepover. Her first meet is next Sat. Am I being overly concerned about sleepovers? I do realize she's a kid first and she's only doing level 3. But at the same time I want her as well rested as possible during meet season -particularly leading up to her first meet ever -so that it will be as positive an experience as possible. Her meet season only goes through Oct and then there's an entire 10 months to have sleepovers, right? Would love to hear how others handle this.
 
I let DD have a sleepover ONCE before a Saturday morning private and practice.
Once.
Not again.
The money I paid for the private was wasted. She tried, don't get me wrong, but she was so so tired, there was only so much she could do.
She's tried the "we'll go to sleep early" tactic, but I know better.

If it were really something special, I'd say okay, (meaning the sleepover was special), but if the private is more important (and to me, a week before a meet makes it more important), I'd be saying no to the sleepover.

And, it's two sided - the benefit for your child, but then also the wasted money for the private that most likely won't go the best possible.
 
For us, sleepovers need to be limited to days when DD has an extra day to recover (sleep late) and not have to go back to school or something else early. It's a matter of safety for her since all her injuries have happened on days where she lacked sleep. She's tries to push through, doesn't realize that she's tired and doesn't jump quite high enough or straight enough etc. So I would never let her have a sleepover the night before a 3 hour practice. It limits sleepovers to summer vacation, long weekends or other vacation weeks since she has practice 6 days a week. She's 9 now so it's been a couple years of this. She knows the drill. And she won't ever fall asleep early than her regular bedtime, so catching up is a nightmare if she can't sleep late the next day.
 
My DD had a group sleepover at our house about a week ago. It was following a 5 hour practice and she had an early morning private the next day with the HC. I allowed it because it was the only weekend that worked for all her friends and our family, and she doesn't get to socialize with those friends (from an old gym) as much as she would like. Even though it was a sleepover, and even though they were all teens, they still had a bedtime so DD would get enough sleep. I would explain to your DD how tired she usually is after a sleepover and how hard practice and her private will be without enough sleep. If the sleepover can be rescheduled I would try that, and if not I would leave it up to her.
 
Can you let her invite another friend or the same friend for a sleepover at your house on Saturday night? Not sure if it's a party or just a single invite, but either way maybe to still give her the opportunity say "I think you need at least one day to recover" like rsm's rule, but how about we see if Susie can sleep over at our house on Saturday after practice? (Or if you're not up for a sleepover or she really wants to see the birthday friend - why don't I see if I can take you and Susie to the pool or ice cream or movie this Saturday or next saturday?). The explain the situation to the parents who invited her and say you can't do Friday but your dd would love to do xyz alternative with her.
 
Another alternative I have used in the past is to ask if the sleepover could be switched to a play date. If it's a party, it works the same way. Your DD could go over and stay until a bit before whatever you decide should be her bedtime. Then you bring her home to get a good nights sleep in her own bed, but without missing out on most of the fun.
 
From the look of the posts, I don't think there's a right or wrong answer here, as only you really know your daughter. Sometimes they have to "fail" to realise what they really want. My poppet has been to sleepovers before big training events and they only ended badly the first time, after that, we all learned that it either happens at our house, or she needs to not go on special occasions.

But the sport of gymnastics tends to take over your life so eventually your daughter is going to have to learn to train and compete sick and/or tired. We had the first competition of the year a couple of years ago at 7.30am in the morning after a family wedding 2 hours away the night before. She was tired as, but came out and won the thing.

We have started having sleepovers on purpose now before state training sessions so that the girls learn to self-regulate and are prepared for when they travel away with their teams, but they are all either teenagers or close to it.

Another option I used early on was to have an "almost sleepover" where they did everything at their friends house up until a late bedtime (like 10pm) and then I brought her home to sleep. It just enforces the late bedtime without it dragging on to midnight or 2am.
 
I am very strict about sleepovers too. Gymnastics is so important to be fresh and awake. Being tired could cause unusual errors and possibly get hurt.
My dd coach from her old gym - would say if you are tired from a sleep over don't come to gym. And not coming to gym would not make her happy. Therefore no sleepover when you have gym.
Its never really been an issue as most of her friends are also gymnasts.
 
You know your child best! I'm sure you will make the right decision.

For us, we did it once when she was in compulsories (and obviously younger) and it didn't work out well at all. Fast forward 3 years, we tried it again, and it worked out ok. We wouldn't make a habit of it but there were no meltdowns or tears after practice.

Again, she is yours and you know her best. You will make the best decision for her!
 
I should specify that this is not a special occasion of any sort. If it were a group slumber party I would definitely let her go -this is just a regular old invite to sleep at a friend's house. I decided to turn it down -there will be plenty of other opportunities for sleepovers with this friend. Thanks for all of the replies!
 
If it was just a practice I might consider it maybe but knowing how hard those privates can be to get I would reschedule.
 
I wouldn't do it in this instance because 1) she has practice AND a private lesson, 2) it's not a special group or birthday party sleepover, and 3) she has her first meet next week. A Saturday night sleepover when she doesn't have a meet the next week is probably fine. My dd takes at least a week to recover from staying up late at sleepovers! I prefer to have her hang out with the friend and then pick her up at 9-10pm instead of spending the night.
 
We do not allow our DD sleepovers. Full stop. Gym keeps her from getting enough sleep as it is.

For her 8th birthday party, we had a "faux sleepover". Everyone got in PJs, brushed their teeth, watched a movie, and the parents picked them up at 9. All the fun, none of the pain.

She is now a 9 YO, L 6/7. Not sure I'd feel that differently at L 3. In fact when she was 7 she was a level 3. Same deal.

I don't judge others. Just my girl needs her zzzzzzz more than most.
 
If it was the night before a meet I would say no. It's just a practice, she's only 7/level 3. Let her go to the sleepover, especially if it's a party or special occasion. I would see if maybe it could be done sat night instead first though.
 
Sleepovers can be painful practice or not. I have gotten to the point where I encourage them with certain friends that I know will go to sleep early and be cheerful the next day and I say never again to the friend who kept me up until 2 am one night and does not know the meaning of the word no.
 

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