Parents sleepovers during meet season?

[NutterButter]

My DD is 13 now and this is the first time that I would consider a sleepover the day before practice and/or the week before a meet. She's older and not grouchy when she only gets a few hours of sleep. It's really a non-issue for her though because she doesn't like to have a sleepover the day before practice or if she has a meet coming up.

When she was younger - no way would she do a sleepover the day practice. She never handled lack of sleep very well and often it would take several days to recover from one sleepover.

 

[2girls_gymmomma]

My older girlie ended up learning a tough lesson. We usually say no to sleepovers, but this was a birthday party sleepover with school friends. No meets for three weeks-and on the first week due to being over tired she hit her head somehow...then complained of a headache. Coaches were worried of a concussion, so no practice for 24 hours plus time for re-eval by medical staff. Needless to say...gonna be a long time before we do a sleepover with non-gym friends again. A headache from sleep deprivation can look like a lot of things given what our kids do!

 

[skschlag]

I should specify that this is not a special occasion of any sort. If it were a group slumber party I would definitely let her go -this is just a regular old invite to sleep at a friend's house. I decided to turn it down -there will be plenty of other opportunities for sleepovers with this friend. Thanks for all of the replies!

You say this now, but honestly, that time gets more and more limited. This summer, my ds had practice every morning at 8 (except Sunday). 4 + hour practices. And he did sleepovers. There was no time otherwise. And he did water parks etc,a nd went to practice. He is a level 9 (think release moves and doubles)>

When your child starts walking up to you with an invitation already upset because they know they have practice the next day and you will say no, it gets hard. We do everything we can to let him still be a kid, so that he doesn't start to resent gymnastics. (I do draw the line at trampoline parks, but he even went there and watched and did the party part!)

 

[Deleted member 14190]

Whenever DD (7.5) has a sleepover she seems exhausted for the next day at least. She has just been invited for a sleepover this Friday. On Sat she has both 3 hour gym practice plus a rare private with her coach -so I'm leaning towards saying no for the sleepover. Her first meet is next Sat. Am I being overly concerned about sleepovers? I do realize she's a kid first and she's only doing level 3. But at the same time I want her as well rested as possible during meet season -particularly leading up to her first meet ever -so that it will be as positive an experience as possible. Her meet season only goes through Oct and then there's an entire 10 months to have sleepovers, right? Would love to hear how others handle this.

like most have said, you should just give her the day off, or don't do the sleepover.

 

[munchkin3]

Sleepovers are a big deal to kids. Sacrificing them because of practice sets up the resentment issue.
I agree with coachp either have it and don't go to practice the next day, or don't have one....on the off chance your kid will have a sleepover, and still go to bed at 10Pm then fine.....but it's never happened here!

Before meets is a big NO! I think you kid would agree, if you have a handful of meets per year, no sleep overs on those weekends....sorry, that's what 'commitment' is about. It's not like there is a meet every weekend!

Now, traveling to a meet with more than one gymnast can pose a problem.....the slumber party feel always starts to take hold!

 

[gymmomtotwo]

Let her go. She will come to resent gymnastics. There are so many times in the future where she will have to say no to things. This doesn't need to be one of them. Talk to the other Mom about the need for a reasonable bedtime, and hope for the best.

 

[Gymom]

Let her go if you she really wants to, but warn her that there might be consequences. Or let her go but say she can only stay the first day, pick her up at night and bring her to bed. Simple enough, she gets to have fun with friends, and still have energy for the gym.

 

[Ali'sMom]

I will add to my previous post:
I've let her have a sleepover on a friday with Saturday 3 hour practice the next morning. TRY to get to sleep at a SOMEWHAT decent time.
But Not when I'm paying extra for a private the next morning. To me, that's the difference. If she's tired in regular practice, not so bad. But if we're paying for an hour for a coach all to herself, I want to align her stars so that she can work to her fullest.

 

[profmom]

One of DS's teammates slept over at our house one day every week over the summer because they had a practice that ended at 9 PM and practice started the next morning at 9 AM and this boy lives pretty far away. The boys figured out that they should get to sleep pretty early and took to getting up at around 7 so they could have some time to play before gym. I was really happy watching them learn how to make this work.

At the end of the summer, the guys had an all-team "sleepover" at the gym. At the last minute, the coach called a practice for DS and a couple other boys for Future Stars the next day. DS played vigorously with all of his friends at the sleepover, but at 12:30, he took a Benadryl, found a quiet corner, and went to sleep so he wouldn't be too wiped out for practice the next day. This was all his doing, not my suggestion. I was really impressed by that, but I think it happened because of the learning from the previous sleepovers at our house.

All this is by way of saying that whatever you do, for your DD it's a learning opportunity about how to balance the demands of gym with the desire for a social life.

 

[z2akids]

First of all, when DD had 3 hour practices in L3, I would not have scheduled a private on the same day as practice. She wouldn't get enough out of it on the same day as a full practice. But, every child is different.

In past years DD has had Saturday am practices. I discouraged Friday night sleepovers, but at times I would make exceptions - balance. DD needs balance in her life. Gymnastics isn't all she has in life. This year, she her only weekend practice is on Sunday afternoons, so sleep overs are more of a thing this year.

 

[lovemygymnast]

I'd say no. It's so important for them to get the right amount of sleep before a long practice.

 

[JoyAvenueMom]

1) I am cautious about sleepovers for all my kids, gym or not. I am not typically over protective, but sleepovers offer unique opportunities for kids to see/hear/do things I'm not totally okay with. So, Kipper is not used to me scheduling or approving sleepovers on a regular basis. Therefore she doesn't associate "no sleepover" with gym.
2) Her "best" friends (there are 3 of them) typically consider her schedule when making birthday sleepover plans. They (and their parents) understand Kipper's commitment and her schedule and are SUPER accommodating that way. I realize not everyone can be that fortunate. But a best friend's birthday party is something you just don't miss (barring an actual meet or illness).
3) I'm a big fan of enjoying the party part, then going home to sleep.
4) I'm also a big fan of skipping practice when something important takes precedent (ie BEST friend's birthday party). However, sometimes girls this age get into a cycle of sleepovers on a regular basis. Unless they all have a reason to get up the next morning, it's probably wisest to just pass.

 

[kayjaybe]

We limit sleepovers during the school year, especially during meet season. Also, I find a one on one sleepover is much less exhausting than a larger group, so we are more open to that.

Luckily dd has learned that she doesn't need to stay up all night and that when she does, she suffers for it the next day, whether she has practice or not.

Most of dd's sleepovers are with fellow teammates so they understand the need for sleep.

 

[OrangeKangaroo]

My DD is very social and loves sleepovers. We always try to accommodate her as best we can, but given the original premise a long practice and a private the same day, my concern would be fatigue which could cause injury and I would have the girls pick another night or just have a 'later" but not late night or incorporate another activity to make it feel special without the sleepover part. Good luck it is a tough balence friends and gym.

 

[cbifoja]

We don't do Friday night sleepovers because of Saturday morning practice. I almost always host the sleepover. That way I can be sure the girls get into bed at a reasonable hour. We do almost no sleepovers during meet season because of travel and needing the extra time to make up homework and housework. But I balance that with frequent summer sleepovers. Like OrangeKangaroo's DD, mine is very social and I would hate for her to have to choose between two things that are so important to her.

 

[auswi]

You say this now, but honestly, that time gets more and more limited. This summer, my ds had practice every morning at 8 (except Sunday). 4 + hour practices. And he did sleepovers. There was no time otherwise. And he did water parks etc,a nd went to practice. He is a level 9 (think release moves and doubles)>

When your child starts walking up to you with an invitation already upset because they know they have practice the next day and you will say no, it gets hard. We do everything we can to let him still be a kid, so that he doesn't start to resent gymnastics. (I do draw the line at trampoline parks, but he even went there and watched and did the party part!)

Yep - this is us too- still gotta be kids☺-except we did the whole trampoline bday party too - we leave it to Dd (IL 9- scarier skills) to make the call - I know when Aussi champs were pending she was careful with late nights etc.
With Mag man (l 5) and little rec girl they have got to be kids- period☺

 

[littlegirlsdream]

Honestly I am having trouble with the private lesson for lvl 3. I know that's not the point of the post but it seems like at this level practice should be enough and missing out on the sleep over because of the private lesson seems sad. Moving forward in gymnastics there will be so much she has to miss due to hours of practice and competitions. It gets harder not easier so I say do it while she can.

 

[wrzos]

No sleepovers before meets, privates, or practice at our house.
In fact, right now I'm on a ban of all sleepovers in general, because she comes home so cranky and nasty to everyone. I've told her we are on a break, and will try again in a few months to see if she can act respectful instead of horrible...

 

[l.c.o]

We let DD 0ccasionally do gym friend sleepovers on nights before practice if it's a later start (like, 11am or later), mostly because they all "get it" and go to bed at a decent enough time.

If it was for a rare sleepover/party that DD *just had* to go to, I'd consider giving practice a miss, depending (like, probably not the week before a big/first meet). That said, DD rarely misses practice for even optional school events, much less sleepovers (says she wants to practice).

If my DD had a long-awaited private, I'd probably want her to skip the party. That sounds like what you chose? I get letting kids be kids... That's important and as a mom I'm mostly flexible. But at the same time, if I'm sacrificing time/money/sanity, the kids have to make choices too, sometimes.

If my DD frequently asked to miss practice for sleepovers/extra school events/wanting to get her nails painted with Bella, etc, I'd probably attempt to steer her to a less intense program (xcel, ymca, etc). JO is a huge investment, and I'm happy to let her do it as long as she is also committed to it. Thankfully, while these are my thoughts, this is pretty much a nonissue in our home.

The unfortunate thing is that there will always be these conflicts, and there will never be enough time to do everything we'd like.

With the number of hours my (somewhat shy/reserved) DD trains at this point, she's probably closer to her teammates than any other friends. She's louder and more outgoing and sillier with them than anywhere else I've ever seen her. She's just most comfortable there and with them. She'd rather be at practice with teammates than most other 'fun' places with people she's less comfortable with. And the more she trains, the closer she is to her teammates, and the further she drifts from "other" friends.

 

[SHELOVESGYM]

I'm not trying to start an argument but feel I need to say something. I have been on a lot of chat boards -including several parenting boards. This board definitely takes the cake for strong opinions and personal attacks. I have to say while I do love this board it does get somewhat exhausting. In this particular case I am wondering why anyone should have "trouble" with my level 3 daughter taking what I described as a "rare" private lesson. You know nothing about me, my daughter, her gym, the reason for the ONE private lesson, etc and I felt that this was extremely judgmental. I also think some of the members with kids further along in the sport should remember that a gymnast's very first meet EVER is a big deal at the time -probably a bigger deal than one of the many high level meets that an advanced gymmie has been to at this point. So please try to remember that while what my daughter is doing now might not seem to be a big deal in the grand scheme of the sport -in our lives at this moment it is HUGE. This post is not just referring to the post on this thread, but in general I see a lot of judging going on on this board. I am sure every single one of us has been overly judged by family and friends for even having our kids in this intense sport. On this board can we try to hold back these judgements and be more supportive?