Parents DD wants to quit....

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Proud Parent
and I've always said if she's not enjoying it anymore then I would let her, I don't want to pay so much money for something she really doesn't want to do, but she loves it and her reasons are silly!

She's just moved to level 6 and is struggling big time. Clear hips in particular, she is adamant she will never ever ever ever be able to do it (her words). I reminded her of the kip struggle and all the other struggles she overcame and can now do with ease, but she still wants to quit.

I honestly think she will regret it and in 6 months time when she can do all of the level 6 stuff that at the moment seems too hard, she will wonder why the hell she wanted to quit, but if she's really hating it at the moment, I don't want to tell her she has to keep going.

What to do?!
 
It sounds like she's frustrated and feeling overwhelmed. I think you are right in reminding her of all of the obstacles she has already overcome! Also, it may be a good time to remind her of her great teammates and how proud she's always been to be a part of her team. Because wanting to quit seems very reactive to her skill struggles, I would acknowledge how hard she is working and her frustrations in wanting to get everything right now. Assure her you have confidence that she is going to be glad she persevered during this tough time, and that her hard work will pay off and that it will be worth waiting for. :)
 
How old is your dd? ( sorry I can't remember) Level 6 is a hard level, especially bars, and for talented young girls it can be really confronting when they hit a level where things don't come quickly and easily.

My level 7 gymnast has been constantly saying "it is too hard", I pointed out to her the other night that at level 7 it is supposed to be hard. With wanting to quit I always say to my kids to not make a snap decision ( I have lost count of the times my dd is quitting at 8.00pm and in love with gymnastics by 8 am the next morning lol) but to thing the decision through. If she still wants to quit in a few weeks, well then it is time for hard decisions.
 
My DD went through a period of time where she claimed she wanted to quit, also at level 6. She was going through some back tumbling fear issues and would tell me that EVERY one else could do those skills (BHS on beam, BT dismount) except for her. Which wasn't true but all she could see were the kids getting skills while she was stuck. I told her that we'd already paid for the season, so just focus on having fun with her teammates at practice and meets and she could quit after States. Having an "end date" seemed to help her and of course she was back to loving gymnastics again a month into the season once she got her backward tumbling back.
 
I'm a big believer in the idea that you commit to the team, then you commit thru the season. With the season not yet begun that is a tougher call. I've also seen others recommend that you not quit during a 'down' time. So basically, work through whatever skill you are getting frustrated with and AFTER you have mastered that skill, if you still want to quit then yes, go ahead... just an idea
 
Team gym is too labor intensive and expensive to continue if your kid wants out....you could tell her you're taking 2 months off and see how she feels, but be prepared to be ok if she doesn't want to go back.

For those who advocate finishing the year out ( and we're only in October), and you say her season doesn't start until mid march (& no payment has been made for meets) ...you're still a solid 6 months away....that's a long time for anyone to be miserable...
 
I don't think she's miserable. This is literally the first I've ever heard of her wanting to quit. I think she's had a bad couple of days at training and giving up seems easy. I really think she will regret it, and once she has these skills down she won't want to quit anymore. I just don't know whether or not the be "that" parent who tells her she's not allowed to quit.
 
Hi ☺I assume WA is fairly similar to Vic with the scheduling?
So with nat clubs done & dusted everyone is upskilling for next comp season....so, given that shes maybe feeling overwhelmed by this , maybe suggest one more term to see if the new skills are less overwhelming by end of term time. This way your Dd, Op can see an end but gives her a buffer period if in fact she still wants to stay in.
One of my other kids a few years ago decided to stop gymnastics and she was a good little gymy-caused anguish all round but several years later is a rep bballer which wouldnt have happened if she'd stayed in the gym.
I guess just trying to reassure you that your Dd will find another sport she loves if in fact she does decide to try something else- good luck☺☺
 
Playing devil's advocate... Just because this is the first time she's shared that she'd like to quit, doesn't mean she hasn't been considering it for awhile.

I'd ask my DD to give it a month or so, and maybe talk to coach.
 
While I would not make my daughter finish out a season of gymnastics, I think it's too soon to let her just quit. More time, maybe a chat with coaches, a few days off, a heart to heart with her over ice cream. If it's only been a few days, I don't tell her to give it a month and then decide.

My daughter had never talked about quitting and last year a month before season started, she was struggling with big beam fears at level 8. She mentioned she would probably be done after the season ended because she knee I had paid for stuff already. I told her she didn't have to finish her season, I didn't want her to be miserable for the next almost 6 months. She stuck with it (and did Doc Ali for a few months of Webcamp) and is still in gym.
 
Do you have an end of year display?
My daughter is leaving at the end of the year but is doing term 4 for the fun of display and the up training (her main reason for leaving is the absolutely zero up training during the year and she has had a really boring year).

If your Dd has something like that to look forward to and does term 4 she may well also surprise herself by getting those skills.

Does she have something else she wants to do?

It does sound like it may just be frustration and fear of not getting the level 6 skills (I know one of our girls the other day was saying she was dreading going to gym due to the flyaway - in reality as you say it's months to the new season but the girls hear you need x and some of the kids have it and they think they never ever ever will,
And if they don't then they can always repeat.
 
Yes to end of year display, it's actually another reason she gave me for wanting to quit. She doesn't want to do it.
 
Just a quick note to the U.S. people before I go cook dinner... we don't really have the same kind of "team" set up that you do over there. Our fees also tend to be very different so there's not the same kind of "commit for a season" thing either, we generally pay for each competition as it comes. There's not the same kind of letting people down thing that I gather happens over there if someone did quit in the middle of one of your seasons.
Our seasons might be 3 of 4 competitions... including States....
 
Can you talk to the coach regarding the end of year display? Is it compulsory - or can you just be unavailable on that day ;)

I just don't know whether or not the be "that" parent who tells her she's not allowed to quit.

I totally understand what you are saying here, I don't think any of us want to be "that" parent :) I would wait, if after several weeks or a month or so your daughter is still saying she wants to quit then it is probably time to move on to something else. If your daughter is repeatedly saying over a period of time that she is done, that is a very different situation to a once off "I want to stop" statement.

I've had two gymnasts, one is currently 12 yrs old and level 7, the other finished gymnastics as a 12 year old. The decision to finish was hard, hard on dh and I as parents and hard on our child. It is difficult to watch a child flip flop between loving and hating a sport, often within a period of several hours. As they get older fear can start to kick in, the skills get harder and take longer to master, the hours increase - gymnastics is not an easy sport. As my dd says, you have to really love this sport to stick with it.

I thought my gymnast would regret stopping, and that worried me. There is so much time and effort invested in your child doing gymnastics that it is hard to imagine a life without it. The coach asked that she stay till after state championship ( which was a team comp) and she did. She missed her friends from gymnastics, but now three years later she has no regrets. The fitness, strength and flexibility she had as a gymnast allowed her to transition to another sport. The life skills and time management that she gained through years of gymnastics have served her well as a high school student. Looking back there is no way that I could say all those years were a waste.

I do have to admit though, that I miss watching her. I know as a parent we should not compare our children to each other but of my two gymnasts she probably had the most natural ability and potential - lovely lines, natural flexibility and grace. She was in a great program and the team mates she trained with are now competitive at a national level. I sometimes watch them and think "what if"
 
I was that parent. I told my daughter she was not allowed to quit.

She had been injured for ages, just had an enforced break from gym (doctor's orders) and as we anticipated, she didn't want to go back.

I don't think quitting when injured is a good time to do it, if at all possible (I realise that injury is not the case for you @gymnastruby ). We didn't want her to come to us in 1 years time and say, "I wish I hadn't given it up." We felt that really, she wasn't done yet. (*I* would have been thrilled to have all the time back, if she had quit, but it wasn't about me...) So we consulted a sports psychologist who assessed her and agreed that she had unfinished business with gymnastics.

We used the excuse that we had paid until the end of the semester, so she would be at least going until then. She readily accepted this. With increased training and a well rested mind and body (because of the break), she quickly grew to love training again, especially because she was regaining old skills and also getting new ones.

Now, 6 months on, she's having a ripper of a time, coming along in great leaps and bounds, and we haven't seen her so happy in a long time. She's just done two solid weeks of school holiday training - full days, every day - and had The Best Time! Who wants to be doing nothing on school holidays when you can be doing gymnastics?! :)

If we had come to the point 6 months on where she was no longer injured or suffering the after effects of injury, and she was now hating it, I would have let her quit, no questions asked.
 
Huge decisions shouldn't be made quickly, unless your life is in danger (like having an abpusive partner).

So sit with her, brainstorm a time and spot to revisit, the decsion and then go with it.
 

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