Parents Would you allow your child to compete?

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GymMomK

Proud Parent
DD is level 8, missed last season due to injury, moved to 9 this season. She's done her vault by herself maybe 3-4 times and still balks on bars. Floor and beam are pretty good. She has a meet coming up and only 3-4 practices until meet day. I'm having a hard time saying yes to her going.

Anyone have input?
 
Bars and vault are my kid's strength. If she couldn't compete those, then I wouldn't go. But I did attend a meet where that was all she competed. So I would go for two events but only if they were her stronger events.
 
First, what does the HC think? Sometimes what we see, what our gymnast tells us and what the coaches think are all different. If you trust the coaches, I'd go with their suggestion.

If you've paid for the meet fees and it is not a fly away meet or overnight meet, then I would likely do it. Also many kids go to meets and don't compete all events. Why are you on the fence on her competing?
 
First, what does the HC think? Sometimes what we see, what our gymnast tells us and what the coaches think are all different. If you trust the coaches, I'd go with their suggestion.

If you've paid for the meet fees and it is not a fly away meet or overnight meet, then I would likely do it. Also many kids go to meets and don't compete all events. Why are you on the fence on her competing?

HC says it's just a 'practice meet'.
Hasn't been paid for.

Dd has been having attitude issues and I think I could use this as 'punishment' since it's really the only thing that would phase her.
 
HC says it's just a 'practice meet'.
Hasn't been paid for.

Dd has been having attitude issues and I think I could use this as 'punishment' since it's really the only thing that would phase her.

That's a different scenario entirely. If you think it will do her good, and may motivate her to work harder and adjust her attitude, I'd say sure. Probably the only opportunity to "teach her a lesson" without sacrificing too much.
 
Mine is likely to just compete bars at her first meet, maybe bars and beam, and there's an off chance bars, beam and floor depending on what the ortho doc says on Monday. I pay a set fee whether she competes or not, and she's not having issues right now, so it's a different story. She'll be going to support her team even if she doesn't compete as it's a local meet.
 
If it were just about only having some events - yes I would take my child. DS will only be competing 3 out of 6 events at his meet in 3 weeks. He's dealing with a string of injuries and hasn't made it all the way back yet. Are they his best 3 - nope! But they are the ones he's allowed to do. Will they be great- nope! He's been off of all event work for 2 months and just started back into it this week. They will be simple safe routines. He thrives on the atmosphere at meets. He loves competing and hanging with the friends from other gyms. It's what motivates him to keep working.

Now the attitude adds a whole other dimension. Without knowing what "kind" of attitude she's showing asnd where it has me wondering - Do you think by keeping her out you would get there response you are looking for? Or would it come back as - why work/behave/listen or whatever if they're not going to let me compete anyhow?
 
I took my son to San Francisco in Jan. He was recovering from a shoulder injury and could only compete pommel and floor. Both his scores contributed to the team score of which they placed first. And we got to go with the team to Alcatraz and China Town. Well worth it I think!!!
 
One thing with the "punishment" aspect- stopping her competing might not help. She may just subconsciously think well what's the point training if I just get pulled.

Now if you let her compete and she does badly (for her), it could be a great lesson. I know a few coaches who admit it occasionally does a child good to lose, and can get their attitude kickstarted.

What does she say? If she's l8/l9 she has responsibility for her sport. Is her attitude because she doesn't feel ready and is hoping you pull her? Does she want to compete? Ask her what she wants to do.
 
I'd say yes.
It sounds like a low pressure meet and a good one to go to for getting back on the horse. Coach wouldn't let her do it if she wasn't ready surely and if she only does one or two things it'll still help test out where she is mentally and physically. Plus she'll be there to support team mates and feel the atmosphere, which can be great for motivation. There really doesn't sound as though there's a good reason gymnastically to say no.

Personally I think the attitude thing needs to be thought of as a separate issue, or it gets messy. You'd be trying to use gym comps, which are rather the coach's domain, for punishment of attitude problems. If it's attitude in the gym that's probably for the coach to handle and if it's attitude outside of gym I'd keep it separate. Just my own opinion.
 
I would not override a coach or health care provider's recommendation unless behavior was really, truly, that awful. And in that case, we'd probably be evaluating her participation in all extra-curriculars in general (including practice).

If she's cleared to compete, and coaches would like her to, I'd have her compete what she can. Some kids thrive more under pressure. Perhaps she'll warm up the two iffy events amazingly and they'll let her compete. Or perhaps she'll warm them up well and it'll just build confidence which would carry over to the gym. Or perhaps she doesn't warm them up at all.

Where is the negative behavior happening? I've noticed that when my kids' attitude is the crappiest, it's when she most needs a hug and support. If I punish a negative attitude (beyond "go to your room and think about what you just said"), it worsens. I acknowledge that her behavior sucks and is inappropriate when I need to, but it's conversational, and not usually accompanied by punishment. I ask her what is going on to make her behave such a way, and offer a sounding board and a hug. We also discuss healthier ways to deal with it. Growing up is rough, and sometimes (often) they don't have the emotional maturity/intelligence to process or communicate appropriately. She may be frustrated/scared/worried and unable or unwilling to communicate that. That said, every kid is different and I'm speaking in generalizations and am totally not telling you how to parent.... perhaps you're completely aware. But withdrawing your daughter from the competition alone in light of her attitude is likely to exacerbate the behavior rather than correct it, especially if gymnastics is a primary outlet for her. You need to get to the root cause of her current attitude, and let her know the feelings are ok but that crappy behavior is not.
 
DS will attend a meet in a little over a week at which he will scratch his two best events (pbars and PH) due to injury. The experience is valuable in his first year at an optional level and I would think the same would be true for your DD after not competing last year.

The only way I'd pull a kid from a meet because of behavior would be if the kid were abusing teammates or being disrespectful to her/his coach. Otherwise it's the coach's call.
 
I always let the coach make the call. I think it can be perceived as a lack of commitment to the team if a gymnast doesn't go to a meet because of not being "ready". Safety is another issue entirely but coach should know what is safe.
The attitude stuff absolutely has to be dealt with another way, in my humble mom of 3 girls opinion.
 
I agree. Let the coach/gymnast make that call, and deal with the attitude.

DS will attend a meet in a little over a week at which he will scratch his two best events (pbars and PH) due to injury. The experience is valuable in his first year at an optional level and I would think the same would be true for your DD after not competing last year.

The only way I'd pull a kid from a meet because of behavior would be if the kid were abusing teammates or being disrespectful to her/his coach. Otherwise it's the coach's call.

Add to that poor grades. Coach pulls them from a meet if they have Ds or Fs, MOM pulls D if he has Cs.
 

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