Parents Who decides?

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twinmomma

Proud Parent
I'm hesitant to post. I have a very upset DD. Short version is she has a successful L3 season at another gym, likely relying on talent over training. We knew it would get harder for her. She's put in the work. Less than a month before season, gym implosion forces us to switch gyms and we start to realize how her training hasn't been helping her at the old gym. She has an ok L4 season, barely qualifies for state, and actually does decently at state. Kid has worked HARD.

Coach and DD's other mom and I all agree another year at L4 is in order. She needs a lot of work on flexibility (she's STRONG, just not flexible) but is a great tumbler and vaulter. She needs some confidence building. Gym put in new score requirements regarding testing up that she doesn't meet anyway, so we weren't worried about it.

Last night, HC approaches DD about L5 and asks why she doesn't think she's ready. She's 9, she doesn't know how to answer. She says her coach and her mom already talked about it and HC says "you know it isn't yours or your mom's decision, it's mine and your coach's." So now Dd comes out to me hysterical afraid she's going to get moved without wanting to go. We had a long talk about it and she says she isn't afraid she just doesn't feel like she mastered the things she needed to master and she knows she needs to work on flexibility and doesn't feel like she's ready.

DD is never going to be Elite, or college level gymnastics. Waiting a year means being 12.5 at level 6/7 vs. 11.5. She's fine with that.

So. Who decides? If her parents and her coach think it is in her best interest to stay and repeat, what do you all think?
 
Im sorry. That is a tough place for your little DD to be in. Just remind her she wont be forced to do skills she has not mastered. Remind her that no matter what level, she can do it.
And also give into the fact that another year of L4 might be what she needs.......Its quite a big huge jump BTW.....
Maybe you can sell it to her by offering a mid season move up?
 
It seems unusual for the mom and gymmie to WANT to stay back while the HC wants to move up. I would think it's more frequently the opposite. Does the HC work with your dd much? Are the comments he's making regarding moving to level 5 based in actual knowledge of your dd and her journey, or is he making assumptions? Why is there such a disconnect between what your dd's coach wants and what the HC wants? Lots of questions you need to get answers for I think...
 
The head coach decides. But keep in mind that this may be a conversation in passing and the head coach is likely challenging her to look a little further than just settling in for another repeat season. In other words, deep breath and let the HC do their thing. Unless they sign her up as a 5 I wouldn't stress about it. And if they do just have a meeting with the HC and inquire. Honestly, it's a very easy meeting to have when you don't want your kid to move up, LOL! One I have never had!
 
When does the season start and when are the final move-up decisions made? Does this need to be decided now? Is it possible to train towards L5 for now, and if closer to the competition season the coaches decide that she is not ready, then drop back to 4?
It's only February, the season doesn't usually start until at least August. She might surprise you all and herself, and be ready by then.
 
In DD gym the HC makes the decision for every team member, parents or gymnasts aren't even asked. HC puts the gymnast in the level where she sees she will be challenged but SAFE.

I hope your DD ends up in the best place for her.
 
Head Coach...this doesn't mean anyone is right or wrong...it means the Head Coach has decided. Try meeting with the Head Coach and talking about it.
 
Sounds like HC and coach weren't on the same page. If HC didn't know your daughter well there possibly may even have been a miscommunication/confusion as to who she is or what happened. So I would recommend you just ask for a meeting with the HC and say maybe something has changed, but you understood that there were X requirements your DD did not meet to move up, and you agreed to that. And that you and DD are just confused but are willing to consider other options if he thinks it is is DD's best interest.
 
HC does NOT know my DD well. We haven't been at this gym long (7 months) and HC was not the HC when she arrived, though he was at the gym. DD WANTS to repeat L4 because right know she knows what she needs to work on and knows she will get blasted on things like leap degree requirements. She still fights hard for the splits. New gym rules indicate a required average score of 35.5-36 to test to move up but with HC having final say in who tests. Dd's average was more in the low 34 range. DD had a mental block on the cartwheel on beam about halfway through the season and private lessons to work on it.

Move up decisions are being made by the end of February. Season starts in August. We were told the requirement was having all L5 skills. DD does not have a reliable clear hip, or baby giant, though she has done both. She balks on the beam back walkover, yet has completed it successfully when they work on it consistently. Full turn on beam is a crapshoot. Do I think, knowing her, she could have all these skills in 6 months? Sure. Maybe.

Having watched her through L4, and knowing what I know about our region, she would get slammed I think as an L5. Her coach is on board with her repeating. I honestly think this is the first time he's really noticed her. She's tiny, which may have him underestimating her age, and he's commenting she's a strong. DD doesn't care about placements, but literally every meet was tears about whether she would qualify for state - which required a 34.5 AA and she only hit ONCE before state.

I'm really NOT trying to be a CGM, but we've had almost identical situations with both of my twins in different sports. DS is staying down a level in little league because he's still 9 and moving up would have him playing with kids who are almost 12, and DD needs another year for confidence building and stability.

I will have a talk with the HC if I have to. I adore her coach, as does DD, and I think DD could also benefit from another year of her great focus on the mental aspects of the sport. I find it odd I'm in the minority of wanting to keep a child back a level to help them be more successful in the future.
 
Those are all valid reasons. I think you should sit down with both the coach and the HC and talk all of this through.

At our gym the HC decides the levels, after doing evaluations at the end of the summer, and supposedly after talking to the coaches. I don't know how much she actually listens to the coaches. But usually almost everybody moves up every year, most likely because she doesn't want to upset the parents. Because yes, it's more common for parents to want their children to move up the level rather than staying back. :)
 
I also had a long convo with DD about how she should feel proud that he is impressed with her and thinks she is strong and doing well and tried to ensure there wasn't some other reason she wanted to stay back (friends, fear on a particular skill, more hours, etc...).
 
I think that it is very early to decide to repeat. It is possible that HC has been watching and believes your DD can be successful as a five. I wouldn't worry- just tell your DD to work very hard and don't think about levels.
 
Head Coach...this doesn't mean anyone is right or wrong...it means the Head Coach has decided. Try meeting with the Head Coach and talking about it.
I agree, meet with the head coach. It might help to explain your daughters reaction to the conversation. Make sure you are clear that you are open to whatever the gym feels is best for her.
 
The head coach decides. But keep in mind that this may be a conversation in passing and the head coach is likely challenging her to look a little further than just settling in for another repeat season. In other words, deep breath and let the HC do their thing. Unless they sign her up as a 5 I wouldn't stress about it. And if they do just have a meeting with the HC and inquire. Honestly, it's a very easy meeting to have when you don't want your kid to move up, LOL! One I have never had!
We have had a few girls that have CHOSEN to repeat a level. One girl chose to repeat Old L4 then also chose to repeat Old L5/ L4. When she moved up to L5, she had just finished a season of Jr High Gymnastics (basically Xcel Platinum rules with high school bonus) - and she did GREAT at Jr. High team. HC told her that she could score out of L5 2x and move to L6 (offered to any Jr. High gymnast in L5), but she CHOSE to compete the whole season at L5 even though her routines for L6 were already figured out and she had already competed them.
This year, she is competing L6. She has already said she wants to repeat L6 next year. (We had 3 L5 starting out this season, all 3 have chosen to move up as soon as they made their 2 score outs… and one girl who CHOSE to start the season as a repeating L4 moved up to L5 in January. She should have a "partner in crime" but the other girl has Severs and is rehabbing, so she won't have a chance to move up this season.
 
Just a couple of thoughts: Does repeating L4 automatically mean being 12.5 yo at L6/L7? Our gym has had girls repeat a level, then skip a level to get right back where they would have been anyway. But I know that some gyms never skip.

Also, having confidence in their own ability can be very important in progressions. Maybe HC thinks she is holding back. It sounds like she has made great progress since making the gym switch, and might continue to progress.

What are the ages of the girls who will be in L4 vs L5? It could be that there is a dynamic in the next group that would serve your daughter well. (someone she would gel with, who would help encourage her when the fear sets in).

Does your gym uptrain during the season, or would she only work on L4 skills once placed in that group? As long as she is training at the right level, what level she competes is really not important. I agree it would be advantageous to understand what the HC is thinking.

It sounds like you are are doing a great job supporting her, and have a good relationship with the coaches. Just remember that coaches are notoriously bad with communication. ;-) Like, no matter how well they coach, they fail to communicate, over-communicate, or just let things slip that shouldn't be said around children! I've had to teach Kipper how to filter words from coaches....
 
DD is one of the younger in her training group. I don't know the age ranges of the L5 girls, but there are a few at her age but most older from what I can tell. You're right, it's possible she would test out of 5 and go to 6, and yes, they do a lot of uptraining and drills and such.

AND, most of her teammates are repeating due to the new rules, which means they will be doing even more uptraining with the expectation that these girls will be moving up or testing out of 5. You're right on the communication piece - I think my plan is going to be to see how the rest of the week plays out. I think the testing is the last weekend of the month, so if it seems he's still pushing for her to be included then I'll make an appointment to talk to him.
 

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