Parents Gym break ups

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Serenity28

Proud Parent
I decided to change gyms after this season. I didn't think the gym was a good fit for my DD in addition to the gym being far away. My DD was on team level 3. Levels 1-5 all were trained together with one coach. The gym is not small, they focus all their attention on the optional girls. The compulsory girls are treated like step children. The team has frequently been kicked off the floor if the optional girls need it. There was a lot of standing around and coaches leaving left and right. I informed them my DD would not be returning. I didn't get into specifics just choosing a gym closer to home. Our last month at the gym, the owner wouldn't look at me or even speak. My DD and one of the front office staff would have play dates with our daughters and now she is ignoring me and has defriended me on Facebook. Is this normal? I had no idea they would take it so personally. I don't owe them money. I gave proper notice. To me this is beyond childish. Has anyone had a similar experience.
 
Haven't done a switch myself, but have heard plenty of stories on here, as well as people who left our gym, or left another to come to our gym.

Your story seems to be overwhelmingly the norm, sadly. In fact, if they didn't make your daughter leave on the spot and tell you never to return, you are on the 'luckier' end of the gym switch spectrum.

Also be prepared for stories of how you were an unreasonable parent and your daughter not very hard-working to emerge over the following weeks to months as they work to create a narrative to not lose more parents.

That was snarky, yes, and I do feel bad for the coaches and owners who are NOT this way and reading my above generalization (thank you to owners who are NOT like this!! Sincerely!!!), but parents need to know that there is a high degree of emotionality (and therefore, irrationality) tied up in gym programs.

Leaving a gym is similar to firing a Nanny. It is near impossible for it not to be taken personally and hurtfully.
 
At old gym I maintained relationships with those who left before me (years before me). It was not an issue and when we needed to move on I remained friends with those still there. BUT, at this new gym......apparently you are supposed to cut off all ties with those who have left. I don't sit well with that! No one tells me whom I can be friends with. I'm a grown adult and if they were my friend then they would still be my friend. I think it's childish and petty and beyond controlling to tell parents to "don't talk to so-and-so because they left".
 
And sadly Sasha is right about the stories. Some (not all) owners feel the need to justify a family leaving by spouting stories. I think they believe that by doing this they can protect their own reputation and keep other families from thinking about leaving as well. Even if a parent does everything right (pays up, gives notice, etc) it happens. Go with the In 1 Ear, Out the Other approach.
 
I'm sorry @Serenity28 , that's really sad. It is hard. There's really no way hurt feelings won't be involved, but I agree with you-it doesn't need to get childish. I'm very appreciative that my "break up" last year went as smoothly as possible. Though I know the HC was certainly not happy with me, he was professional and everyone involved is still FB friends! Lol Good luck...sometimes the right decision is the difficult one.
 
Not a fan of the word normal, really that is a setting on the dryer..

But it is rather typical................. and childish.

Gym is kind of like work........ Remember they are not family.
 
Unfortunately, I've heard stories like that on here before. I think it's awful. I'm sorry that they treated your you and your dd that way. It really doesn't make sense either since you said that the lower levels aren't even valued at your gym... why wouldn't they expect people to leave in those circumstances? It makes me angry for you. :(

I will say that we had someone recently leave my dd's team for another gym (because it was closer and the schedule was better for their family). I was worried about how it would all be handled because I've heard so many horror stories here. But everyone was very nice about it. The coaches hugged her on her last day and we all went out to frozen yogurt to say goodbye. She will be missed, but everyone wishes her well at her new gym and it was really pleasant. I feel certain that if she decided to come back, they would welcome her. We even had one girl leave last year to our main competitor in a more abrupt way and, after about 4 months, she returned to our gym. I was a little surprised, but happy, that she was welcomed back as her leaving wasn't on the best terms.
 
I never experienced this when we switched a gym after 5 years. However my DDs were only on pre teams at the time and we abruptly left on the last day of the month with little notice. We really only left because they did not have a practice time for my youngest that worked with her school schedule and they were going to throw her into rec otherwise. But I'm sure they would have been rude about the change.
 
I'm so sorry but it seems like a common thing. Even the most delicate exit and the best 'explanation' can end on a sour note.

I guess I have been lucky. I left two gyms.....the first because it was a tiny tot gym that was close to home and was nothing serious. We just didn't renew one month and I told the gym she was taking a break. (I did hear many months later that they were pissed)
A few months later, she went to big brothers gym where she stayed for 3 years BUT I had been at the gym a total of 7 years since my son started before.
I left after she completed L4 and I must say that head coach was upset with me. Even though I told him it was a logistics thing, he knew it was that I felt he could not get my DD to the higher levels. That hurt him.........I was so sad to leave because I truly love the coaches there, but my daughter outgrew the program. I'm still good friends with them and we occasionally compare progress. I saw old coach at a meet a few months ago and we talked for a long time and it was so wonderful to see him......he gave my DD a big hug and was so sweet with her.

Current gym? I know if my daughter leaves, it's to retire.........
 
Just went through this too and it was so hard. I think I put more time and thought into changing gyms than I ever did into changing jobs! I love and respect DS's former coaches so much, but through no one's fault, it just wasn't working for DS.

We left on as good of terms as I think possible in the gym world, but it was still hard and weird. Some parents have been great and the coaches were mostly understanding, but it's been awkward with others. I look forward to seeing them all at meets in the future and will be cheering for DS's former teammates as much as for his current ones.
 
One of my favorite pictures from this meet season has DS's coach, two of his current athletes, and two of his former athletes all together at the end of a meet at which they were all competing. Our gym put it up on their FB page.
 
The only time I have ever seen a gym move taken "well" is when the family was actually relocating hundreds/thousands of miles away....otherwise, no excuse ever passed muster...

It has been my experience that you leave for your new gym, and then send a polite email thanking the gym and the coaches....and never look back. Giving "notice" just gives them "notice" on how long they can crap on you and your kid....if they tossed you from the gym, you wouldn't get any "notice"....
 
It has been my experience that you leave for your new gym, and then send a polite email thanking the gym and the coaches....and never look back. Giving "notice" just gives them "notice" on how long they can crap on you and your kid....if they tossed you from the gym, you wouldn't get any "notice"....

Curious about this, as our gym (as I believe many) have some kind of "30 days notice" policy in that if you DON'T give 30 days notice, you are on the hook for another month of tuition. For example, if you plan to leave May 1, you need to give notice before April 1, or else you also have to pay for May (even though you will not be there anymore).

So it seems impossible to just walk out without forfeiting at least a month of tuition. I guess you're saying it's a small price to pay for a month of aggravation (or worse)...
 
Curious about this, as our gym (as I believe many) have some kind of "30 days notice" policy in that if you DON'T give 30 days notice, you are on the hook for another month of tuition. For example, if you plan to leave May 1, you need to give notice before April 1, or else you also have to pay for May (even though you will not be there anymore).

So it seems impossible to just walk out without forfeiting at least a month of tuition. I guess you're saying it's a small price to pay for a month of aggravation (or worse)...

Well I NEVER gave a gym my credit card # so there was no charging it to my credit card baloney...I either paid by cash or check, period...and any gym contract I signed I always crossed out anything with a reference to giving notice and said "if that's a deal-breaker then we'll go somewhere else" and it was never an issue...I wasn't signing anything binding me to pay $1000 a month if I was unhappy with what was happening or some disaster happened and we couldn't continue....
 
While I understand the coaches' side of all this (having been one), the bottom line is, no one 'owns' my child, but me. :D Hate the term 'own,' but can't think of a better one at present. But the gym is gym, not family. And as much as it feels like we DO live there (lol!!!), we do NOT.o_O
So glad we are happy where we are. Some of these stories sound rather awful...:(
 
Many gyms require team payment by automatic payment. When we switched gyms I simply went to bank cancelled card, sent my thank you email to the gym and didn't go back. Yes I lost a month tutition but that was that, they offered refund never saw it. My kid was 7 at the time. We saw one coach at meet the next year she turned her back on her, other coach we still see at meets and even after 4 years always is kind and friendly to both of us.
 
Many gyms require team payment by automatic payment.

This is true of our last 2 gyms.....and I reiterated to them that I would not being leaving a CC # on file with them, or anyone, and that I paid by cash or check by whatever date they required, and if that was going to be a problem, I'd go elsewhere...we always paid on time,and there was never an issue.
 

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