Parents not watching meets

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mommyof1

Proud Parent
Is there anyone here who doesn't watch meets? I am considering no longer watching meets because it is torture and I don't think it does my child any good. She does not like us to watch practice, but was very upset the one time we couldn't make it to a meet. I'm afraid that if I stop watching it will send the message that I don't care about her, but on the other hand it could have all sorts of benefits.

For what it's worth, I banned my own parents from watching all sports competitions and many musical performances when I was a kid.
 
I crochet or knit or take pictures. It keeps me from getting crazed but I still watch. I'm just not hyper focused.
I would watch....unless it really upset your child to do so for some reason. This doesn't mean I would sit there and be hyper focused. But I would watch. The key is does your kid want you to watch. It is very important to my kid that I am there and that I watch. Which is why my purse has excedrin, prilosec, a stress ball,.......
Eta: I would talk to your child about it. If she wants you to watch? I would do it. Practice is very different than a meet. How is she doing with her foot injury, btw?
 
if she wants you there, then imho you should go. Take on the filming role, you can hide behind the camera and the view is not great from behind the small screen, she can also see how she improves over time, even if the scores don't show it.
 
I would never miss a meet for anything but extenuating circumstances. I coached high school colorguard for six years, and you could always see the disappointment in the kids whose parents simply dropped them off and picked them up at the end. I swore I'd never disappoint my kid like that. Now, if my being there was causing issues for her, then I'd find a way to attend without that issue. Either not tell her I"ll be there, or have someone facetime me in to watch her, something.
 
I have considered not watching as it makes me really uptight but I would always go and never let my dd know how I feel , floor , bars and vault are ok its the beam I can't watch it not just my dd but anyones haha . I am trying to stay calmer when watching beam and try to tell myself if dd can get on there and perform then I need to get it together and watch her perform and show off her skills she has worked hard to get them . I am hoping the nerves get better with experience :D
 
I would take the cue from your dd. If she wants you there, it's probably a good thing to go if you can.

My husband fairly tortures our girls at meets. He's loud, brash, overly concerned with scores and placements, and bored easily. The girls end up SO mad at him at some point of every meet. Last year, however, his work schedule precluded him from attending most meets- I think he got regionals and one other out of their full complement of 11 meets. The girls ended up really sad that he couldn't be there, even though they knew he'd make them crazy.

For me, meets can bring out a side of me that I don't like so much. I can get so nervous and wound up, and upset for them when things go really wrong. Looking back I can see that I'm like that when I know they aren't really prepared. Having said that, I am going to work on relaxed this season. Try to just go with the flow, enjoy the moment- all that. I would never want to miss being there to support them the best that I can- but I totally get where you are coming from!
 
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If my DD had her way I would be present at every practice and she would lose her mind if I wasn't at a meet (as would I). I'm probably on the verge of being one of those crazy gym moms, I record every single meet, keep her scores on an excel spreadsheet along with notes from the meet and take videos of her at practice if she has mastered a new skill.
 
I think it depends on what exactly about meets is torture for you, or why you think it would be better for your child if you did not watch, and if that is something that can be fixed in any way other than missing the meet or not watching. If your kid wants you to watch her routines at meets, then it makes sense to figure out a way you can more happily do that.
 
I would rather just know after, but I know how disappointed my kids would be if I didn't attend. My strategy is to volunteer as much as I can at the meets so that I'm busy busy busy.
If I am at an away meet, I multi-task or sit with a friend I can chat to about non-gym stuff.
 
This is something I struggle with a lot. Although after the fact, I am glad I was at a meet, it is very difficult during the competitions. As someone else said, it can bring out a side of myself that I really don't like - for me it is fear of injury, competitiveness, and worry that my kids will be disappointed. And the recognition that I am having negative emotions and stress with a total lack of control as to the outcome, so it is useless anxiety. I've been at it for 8 years now, and it has not gotten much easier, especially since their skills become more dangerous as they progress.

It is a work in progress, but here are some things that I have tried: 1) Focus on the entire competition rather than my own kids, meaning view it as though I were watching a college meet on TV. Less personal investment and more enjoyment at the overall athletic accomplishments of all the talented gymnasts. Learned other gymnasts' strengths and talents, so I know who to watch to see a brilliant floor routine (for example), or witness who recently got their double-back. This includes girls from other gyms, since we generally end up at the same meets after all this time. 2) Socialize with other gym parents. Focus on supporting each other and catching up with the latest, instead of only what's happening on the floor. 3) Have a shot of whiskey right after bars so it takes effect in time for beam (my husband's preferred method). 4) This may be controversial, but last season I went to my GP and she gave me 10 Xanax after I showed her a video of my dd doing bars - one for each meet. I find this takes the edge off and allows me to watch without feeling like I'm going to throw up. 5) Prayer, deep breathing and calming affirmations

I still think about just staying home from meets, but think I would regret it. I envy those who love watching their kids compete! Please, if other people have suggestions about what works for them - share :)
 
I
This is something I struggle with a lot. Although after the fact, I am glad I was at a meet, it is very difficult during the competitions. As someone else said, it can bring out a side of myself that I really don't like - for me it is fear of injury, competitiveness, and worry that my kids will be disappointed. And the recognition that I am having negative emotions and stress with a total lack of control as to the outcome, so it is useless anxiety. I've been at it for 8 years now, and it has not gotten much easier, especially since their skills become more dangerous as they progress.

It is a work in progress, but here are some things that I have tried: 1) Focus on the entire competition rather than my own kids, meaning view it as though I were watching a college meet on TV. Less personal investment and more enjoyment at the overall athletic accomplishments of all the talented gymnasts. Learned other gymnasts' strengths and talents, so I know who to watch to see a brilliant floor routine (for example), or witness who recently got their double-back. This includes girls from other gyms, since we generally end up at the same meets after all this time. 2) Socialize with other gym parents. Focus on supporting each other and catching up with the latest, instead of only what's happening on the floor. 3) Have a shot of whiskey right after bars so it takes effect in time for beam (my husband's preferred method). 4) This may be controversial, but last season I went to my GP and she gave me 10 Xanax after I showed her a video of my dd doing bars - one for each meet. I find this takes the edge off and allows me to watch without feeling like I'm going to throw up. 5) Prayer, deep breathing and calming affirmations

I still think about just staying home from meets, but think I would regret it. I envy those who love watching their kids compete! Please, if other people have suggestions about what works for them - share :)
I would resist mixing the whiskey with the Xanax.
 
I bring my camera and many times haven't watched beam. You could do that, record it to watch later. She won't know you aren't watching. Watching through the viewfinder made it a little less stressful, too.
 
I have to do some mental gymnastics myself - e.g. find ways to anticipate anything negative that could happen and think how this could be a positive. For instance- if she has a bad meet that will help her learn that she's not just valuable because of her performance, will learn to be a good loser, etc. and convince myself that these are just as important as doing well. It's not as helpful,with the fear of injury, though.....
 
I hear you. I watch barely watch beam, and hyperventilate through the rest. I pace and cannot sit down with everyone else. My family knows not to talk to me until the end. My goal is to work on this in the upcoming season. Someone wiser than I am on CB said, "If they are brave enough to go out there, I should be brave enough to watch."
 

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