Help in Understanding

[odonnke19]

I hope to receive some wisdom from of you Gymnasts and Parents. Although this forum is geared towards girls, my questions is about my son.

Here is my issue. He is a Level 5 state champ in AA, Floor and Pommel during his season he also placed 1st in All around in 2 of his meets.

Problem ..he wants to quit..He is moving on to level 6 but see's that its no fun
I am letting him quit ...but I am struggling with the issue..help me understand , thanks

[lakshmi369]

It sounds like your boy has gotten to the point that he thinks the joy he feels doing Gymnastics at L5 will no longer be there at L6. It may however be worth a long chat about his reasons for wanting to quit as these things are often something different than we asume. For example, he may be quiting because of a coaching issue at the next level, he may feel he does not want to be having to start out at the bottom again with a tougher level, he may not like the loss of family or free time, etc....
It is important that the reason "why" is found out as Gymnastics is more of an excercise in discovering lifes lessons than developing a life long vocation. We have gone through similar issues a years ago with our daughter and it was not a loss of love for the sport but other situations that we, as parents, were able to help her through and learn some of lifes tough lessons... probably a lot earlier than we would have preferred.
Just a thought from someone who has gone through some similar issues. Good luck with it, our thoughts will be with you.

[Jojogymgirl]

When I wanted to quit, my parents agreed and we told my coach. I am a girl and was a level 7 at the time, now I am a level 10. My coach talked me back into it. Try talking to the coach, to your son, and finding out why. He may just pass through it. If he dreads coming to practice, though don't force it. You don't want to be the psycho mom. The best thing to do is to talk with his coach and really find out why. You should also talk about what he would do once he quits. He can't not do anything. And look at it this way...so many great gymnasts have quit this sport. Now I'm talking Olympic bound athletes. Just because you're good at something doesn't mean it's your destiny. Ex: You may be good at math, but want a career in literature. If you do lit, you will be happy, because it is what you want. The same with your son, he'll be happy doing whatever it is he really wants to do.

[odonnke19]

I spoke with the coach and they had never seen someone win at the state level and not go on. They were planning on trying to put him thru future stars...
Anyway, thanks for the reply's it helps ease my mine as I do not want to be a psycho parent...Your right that gymnastics is more about life than a career. He has mentioned that he will be a champion at other things...he's a remarklable young man. as an adult we look to succeed in the thing's we do, however for an eleven year old it's probably more about discovering life itself...

[Rainee100]

My son also quit at 11, level 5. He was afraid of doing giants, but didn't tell us that was the reason until later. It's a tough age with a lot of peer pressure and all it takes is one kid to say "You do gymnastics? I thought that was a girl's sport." to turn them away. Little do those kids know what strength and commitment it takes to do the routines. He is still stronger and better coordinated than most of his friends and at the age of 12, he is playing basketball and baseball for the first time, because in the past few years he didn't have time to try much else. He has now told us that he regrets quitting, but doesn't want to go back at this time, because he likes having free time. I would definitely try to find out what his reasons are for quitting and take it from there. It's not the end of the world, just a temporary heartbreak for us! Good luck!

[odonnke19]

Thanks Rainee100, very simillar situation he was afraid of giants as well, but conquerd the fear just before he decided to quit. i know the kids at school teased him as well as kids in his boy scout troop. What his coach, his mother and i can't understand is why he is just leaving and not saying goodbye to his friends and coaches. He has basically just quit cold turkey...mind you this is after winning states he was elated and overjoyed with his accomplishment and attended practices regularly for about a week and a half after states, knowing he was going into L6. I have not spoken to him about it for about aweek and I am resigning myself to letting go in fear of "pressuring him tot he point of breaking down"..however my wife and I know something does not smell right!! He want s to try track next spring.

[gymnasticsbabie]

First of all I'm really really glad your allowing him to quit... not that he should, im just glad your not one of those psycho parents that forces him to continue when he doesn't want to. The best advice I can give is that he's tired of it all. Gymnastics is really really REALLY hard, especially at the higher levels. Maybe ask him why he quit. There has to be a reason behind it and it could just be he doesn't feel like it. GYmnastics takes up a lot of your time also, maybe he wants do see what life would be like without gymnastics.

[odonnke19]

Thanks Gym..Babie
Your perspective helps...Its been about 2-3 weeks since his last practice. He is mulling over if he wants to go to the gym and say thanks and goodbye to his coaches and friends.
Its all just weird for his mom and I....however I think you and the others have given me solice in the fact that ...1) it may not be his destiny 2) there is life after gymnastics 3) he just may not want to do it anymore 4) it does not define who my son is...I love him no more or nor less...gymnast or no gymnast