Question for Parents? Your Non-Gymnast Children

[Claire]

For those of you parents with multiple children (non-gymnasts), how do you handle the huge time and monetary commitment of gymnastics as a family? Have you had issues with siblings- resentment, jealousy, etc.? I have read on other posts about arranging family vacations around gymnastics, the gym being too far away to drive back home and siblings either at home alone or dragged along to the gym and it got me thinking about the whole sibling issue. Also, due to the time and money invested for gymnastics, we cannot put equal amounts into siblings’ interests, especially as our gymnast progresses. I would be interested to hear from those of you in the same situation and especially any words of wisdom! It has not been a big issue for us yet, but I am concerned for my daughter’s siblings as she progresses in this sport.

[gymjoy]

It is definitely an issue for us. I only have 2 kids, my gymmie (12 yo level 9 hopeful elite and 9yo son). His sisters gymnastics has always been part of my son's life. He understands how hard she works and why it is so important to her. In return for all the hours he spend hanging at the gym or at meets we, including sister, support his endeavors. In his own words - if his sister is going to the Olympics, then he will make it to Wimbledon (he plays tennis). I would be one proud momma if that happened, but I certainly don't expect it.

I think seeing his sister's dedication has helped ds push himself harder at his own interest. (never occured to me before...)

[cathiann]

I have four kids--two non-gymnasts and the younger one doesn't notice anything--she's grown up with going to the gym and doesn't mind it. It's never stopped her from doing whatever sports she wanted, so she doesn't complain. My son, however, knows that the cost of gymnastics means we can't afford certain things and he does complain. I just keep reinforcing that this is what his sisters chose to do and that he has the chance to do what he wants too.

[Granny Smith]

Besides dd, our gymnast, we also have a ds, her younger brother by about 4.5 yrs. He does his sports, travel soccer, wrestling, basketball, right now he is playing flag football. My rule is games before practices, so if he has a game the night of one of dd's practices (which is 5 days a week), I go to his game. If he has a game and she has a meet, then dh and I split up and dh usually takes ds (dh is ds' soccer coach) and I go with dd.

As for vacations, we do usually go when the gym is closed but that is not a big deal. I just arrange for that time of the yr, I don't announce to everyone that it is when the gym is closed. In the future our vacation times may change due to ds's schedule, but that is not the case right now.

I believe that my ds can only resent things if I make a big deal of it. He is young enough not to notice too much (8.5 yrs old). Dd and I went away to a flyaway meet this yr and dh and ds stayed home. Dh planned a couple of special things with ds, including going to Dave & Busters and out to dinner where ds wanted to go. He loved it and didn't miss the fact that he didn't travel with dd and myself. Actually dd was a little jealous of ds, as she really wanted to go to Dave & Busters!

I dont' have to worry about staying during gym as the gym is only about 15 minutes from our house and with practice being 4 hrs long, that is not an issue. I will go back to the gym about an hr before it ends and sometimes ds has to come, but it's not for a long time!

The good thing for me is that dd's sibling is a boy and he was never involved in gym. I can only image how hard it would be if her sibling was a girl and would probably want to follow in dd's foot steps - that would be a problem. We could not afford to have to in competitive gymnastics. Again, luckily I don't have to worry about that.

It's all about the approach. The gym is a part of our lives - all of us in our family, but you don't have to make it appear like it rules our lives. We are the adults and I keep the financial aspect and the whole vacation set up amongst ourselves and let the kids be the kids. I am sure as the kids get older they might be more in tuned to things, but I can't worry about that now - can only worry about the here and now!

[Morgansmom]

Besides my DD I also have 2 boys. (one is DD's twin) I have never asked them to sacrifice what they want to do because M does gymanstics. My boys both play travel baseball (year round) which can cause logistical issues if they have to be away for a tournament on the same weekend that M has a meet. Then I just go to the meet and DH goes to the tournament. For the most part I think all 3 of my kids get equal time spent on their chosen sports.

As far as vacations go, we just go. Our Gym never closes so we schedule our vacations at any given time, just depending on what we want to do. For example, my boys really wanted to go to Florida last winter to go to the Phillies Spring Training, so that is where we spent our vacation. We live in the South and my brother lives in Philly so we all met and had a great family trip. We'll probably go somewhere in November over Thanksgiving week. So, although Gymnastics and Baseball are a huge part of our lives, I will not let them dictate our lives. (if that makes sense)

Tracy

[Panda-girl's Mom]

My younger daughter does gymnastics who is 9 her sister is 13 and she briefly tried gymnastics but did not stick with it. Although she does swim, piano and dance she is very jealous of her younger sister being on the gym team. She complains about it eventhough she may have to go to only 1-2 meets a year and she often complains having to go back and forth to drop her sister off at the gym. I go to all my daughters gym meets and I try to make most of her sister swim meets. I do spend more on gymnastics but I would never tell older daughter that I could not afford to do something for her because of her sisters gymnastics. Younger daughter really wanted to go to IGC this year but I could not justify it for the money when we did not take a summer vacation for all of us. I really try to do as much as I can for both girls but younger daughter is so much more motivated with the gymnastics and works so hard at it that it is hard not to favor her gymnastics over her sisters activities.

[eeyoretumbles]

My older sister had a really bad back and neck injury and had to pull out from gymnastics. As much as she won't admit it, I know it really affected her when I was still in competitions and went to work out all the time. Since this happened when she was older, she was able to preocupy herself still. We always made time to make sure it wasn't about me 24/7 and to leave gymnastics seperate