WAG Advice for Young Level 4

[iwannacoach]

The only thing that has changed is that instead of the team mostly having the gym to themselves, all the rec classes have come back and it's much louder and busier, and we all know how much sensory stuff there is to deal with in a gym! In the past she has struggled with sensory overload and that may come into play here as well.

^^^^^^Light bulb in thought bubble^^^^^^

Stay your course, but FYI sensory issues seem to be a part of the anxiety spectrum......Loud movie theaters, fireworks displays, parade's.........but especially those institutional toilets that blast away with a deafening noisy flush. My eldest has/had clinically diagnosed anxiety, and up to his teen years it seemed the toilets scarring him for life......

 

[jcs]

My DD5 also deals with some of these issues, and all of these suggestions are great....gave me a lot to think about. The one thing I would add is not to push things, there will end up being anxiety about the anxiety...and believe me that can happen as I am an over-thinker. Try (and believe me, I know how difficult it can be) to not dwell on it yourself.

What works for my DD:

--we took a step back from pre-team, she wasn't ready for the hours yet. She was fine for the first four months and then had a meltdown (she went from 45 minutes a week to 3 hrs a week) when she was 4.
--we try to make sure a friend is in class. This summer has been tough, and she has done well without someone she knows in there but she still prefers to have a friend there. I am hoping she will eventually become friends with girls who are ready to move up levels when she is.
--try not to be late. She also has trouble going in after everyone else is already running but will fight to be first in line.
--trying not to over-analyze her class...since she is in rec now it's only an hour and 15 minute class so I stay but I need to not watch the whole thing.
--follow her lead. I would love to have her try 2 days a week again and maybe get back to pre-team, but she needs to be ready and needs to want to compete. Even though she could do it physically, she is not there mentally. If she doesn't ever get there, gymnastics is a great sport and gives her such a fantastic base for anything else she might pursue.

Good luck!

 

[GymWithoutEnd]

yes, Moxiegirl83, she feels conspicuous being so small in the big gym, but she's gotten used to it over the summer. I was taken by surprise at her sudden refusal to walk through the door. She says she doesn't feel confident. Some of the older girls are not very friendly. It's just a thing. Life is full of these challenges. I hate to just remove her from the situation. It will be better if she can help herself find the strength to continue doing what she enjoys, to be brave enough to walk in that door.

 

[GymWithoutEnd]

Iwannacoach, how did you handle the anxiety issues? My daughter has been deathly afraid of flushing toilets and loud noises much of her life. I guess I was hoping she was growing out of it, but I guess it is a one step forward and two steps back kind of thing.

My younger daughter, who was deemed too large to bother training USAG, at age five (she is super strong and extraordinarily flexible and only large when compared to Chinese gymnasts....... its a gym limitation, specific to our program). She runs in the gym for her AAU practice and she never stops smiling.

Such different girls with different strengths and different challenges. But sometimes I think it's a shame to write off a child who is normal size and strong just because they are not midgets. In favor of smaller girls who are scared to open the door. I can make myself crazy thinking about this, so I am officially stopping right now.

 

[mayestra12]

If you think / suspect your dd is struggling with an anxiety disorder I would recommend having her evaluated by a professional.

My dd has been working with a pyschologist for two years now and we have seen improvements. I realized I couldn't handle the anxiety on my own no matter how many books I read on the topic.

One activity my dd really liked (from the psychologist) that we use at home is the "worry box." Have her decorate a box at home, write down her worries and stick them in the box. Periodically take them out and talk about if they are still worries or not. Trash the ones that are no longer worries.

We also read and listen to stories like "Angry Octopus" for calming / relaxation.

I agree with you that taking her out is not the answer unless she tells you she doesn't want to do it anymore. If that were the case my dd would have been done a long time ago.

The hardest thing for me to do that the psychologist said I had to stop was anticipating the anxiety. Boy, I can't tell how tense/worked up I used to get on gym days just knowing my dd was going to stop at the gate! I had to change that and act as if she was going to be fine.

Even now as I type this I'm thinking about next week when summer schedule ends and school schedule starts. Dd does not handle transitions easily and the kid that went to every summer practice without a problem may start balking again....but I can't think about it and have to act as if all will be well!

 

[Moxiegrl83]

Some of the older girls are not very friendly. It's just a thing. Life is full of these challenges. I hate to just remove her from the situation. It will be better if she can help herself find the strength to continue doing what she enjoys, to be brave enough to walk in that door

That stinks about the older girls. One of my little one's favorite thing about the gym is the people in it. She wants to be just like her big girl friends. I can definitely see why she would be nervous. Our older girls tend to take the younger team mates under their wing, and sort of mentor them through the process. You're right though, she has to find the strength and will in herself to want to walk through the door, and she'll get there.


My younger daughter, who was deemed too large to bother training USAG, at age five (she is super strong and extraordinarily flexible and only large when compared to Chinese gymnasts....... its a gym limitation, specific to our program). She runs in the gym for her AAU practice and she never stops smiling.

Just because she has a different body style doesn't mean it's pointless to train her for USAG. We have a 10 yr old L7 at our gym who does not have the "typical" gym body. She's solid muscle, super flexible, and can tumble like no one's business. She's amazing on BB as well. At our fun meet, my DH was watching her when she came out, and he was blown away. She's still the only one he really remembers from that meet (besides our DD of course!) ;-)

 

[MaryA]

I agree with Moxiegirl. Having "big girls" in the gym who are great role models are a huge plus. This was not the case at our old gym (lots of Queen Bees, cliques, and meanness) and is the case at our new gym and it makes a world of difference. If my daughter is going to spend a jillion hours in the gym, I want her to have strong role models there. Also, the other daughter "deemed to big to bother training USAG" thing would bug the heck out of me. Those things combined with 4 hour level 4 practices takes my count up to "three strikes..." Just saying.

If you have other options locally, I might consider having both of your girls evaluated at a couple of other gyms, just to see what they say. If you have never checked out any other gyms in your area, just go in for a visit. I had no idea what other gyms were like and then I took DD to a clinic in a town about an hour away. My eyes were opened... "Wow! Gym could be like this???" Luckily, within a couple of months of that experience, a new (wonderful) gym opened up in our area, so we didn't have to consider the hour commute.

 

[Quadqueen]

I agree with MaryA....lots of weird things going on, especially that your other daughter won't even be considered due to body type! Yikes!!!

 

[Krystan]

The hardest thing for me to do that the psychologist said I had to stop was anticipating the anxiety. Boy, I can't tell how tense/worked up I used to get on gym days just knowing my dd was going to stop at the gate! I had to change that and act as if she was going to be fine.

Even now as I type this I'm thinking about next week when summer schedule ends and school schedule starts. Dd does not handle transitions easily and the kid that went to every summer practice without a problem may start balking again....but I can't think about it and have to act as if all will be well!

As someone who has been down that anxiety road, this was huge. My dd is/was super-sensitive to my moods, and if she in any way senses that I am anticipating her quitting/leaving/balking from anxiety, she assumes she has the green light. If I assume and act as if she will go ahead with it, no questions asked, it's a little smoother. It's as if MY believing she can do it proves to her that she can, if that makes sense. That being said, I try to not lose it if she does have issues, and be all calm and collected (easier said than done), but absolutely my attitude can carry over.

Dd recently had her first oral presentation in our homeschool co-op (she is 11) and she kept trying to "start in" on me a few days beforehand. "I don't know if I want to do this", "I'm not sure I can get up in front of everyone", etc. Well, I refused to even engage in the conversation. I just said, "Really?" in a distracted manner. Maybe once I said, "I know you don't, but you will." Really, I half expected her to back out and had a plan in place to deal, but I acted like it was a foregone conclusion and it went off fine. Okay, she was quiet and we could barely hear her, but she did it! Reminded me so much of her first meet a year earlier - I think I was in shock to see her actually get up there and compete I was so expected her to drop, but throughout the whole I acted like dropping wasn't an option to be thought of - and it wasn't.