Confused..?

[B Gymnast]

Hey everybody,
I'm reeally confused/frustrated/mad..I keep having really bad practices.. Well, I get mad at myself for not doing something right or not making a skill (giants in particular) and I CRY...AND CRY.. I can't help it.. Then my coach gets mad at me and yells at me and sometimes makes me sit on the bench which makes it even worse.. For some reason, I just can't handle talking to my coach when I get in trouble for my attitude. I can calm myself down, but then once she comes over to talk to me I can't help it. I start crying.. I don't really get mad at my coach or anyone else when I mess up.. I just get frustrated and mad at myself. I can't help it.. I just cry.. Nothing makes me feel better.. When I'm mad that I'm not doing something right I have to get up there and FIX IT. If I don't I feel like a failure. Like on my giants.. If I don't make them and my coach tells me it's time to rotate.. I'll start crying. My coaches have the habit of saying ''You're done.'' when they want us to rotate and those words make me feel HORRIBLE. All I want to do is stay on bars until I make them. And that's what my coach let me do on Monday.. no tears But yes, I know I can't stay on bars for an extra 20 minutes every day ): ughh it's frustrating.. My coach says I'm on a plateau right now.. I don't exactly know what that means but I think it meqans I'm not improving.. FAILURE.. I know gymnastics is supposed to be fun but lately it hasn't been. I wish my coaches would understand that I just want them to GO AWAY when I'm having an attitude.. I'm not mad at tthem.. I'm mad at myself and there not going to make it better.. The only way I ever feel better is when I finally make the skill.. Which I'm not always capable of doing... okay well thank you for reading this vent HELP ME!

 

[Linsul]

Well, you can wait until you outgrow the crying phase, or you can take active steps to change it. Things are going to go badly sometimes, learning to handle that with grace is something gymnasts are exposed to early. Since you sound a bit bewildered at yourself, my advice would be to put your faith in your coaches, take a deep breath, and be open to the next event rather than hung up on a 'bad' rotation. You will be okay, and if you're unsure all the more reason to shake it off and resolve to do your best next time. Act as if you believe that until you do, you may be surprised about what you learn about the sport and of yourself! It's what I did as a gymnast, though I was more angry or sarcastic when things weren't going well. Not easy at first, but the best part of getting through it with no drama is realizing you're surrounded by people who will guide you through it. Let them! In the long run it will help tremendously more than any single giant ever could!

 

[CoachGoofy]

On "you're done":

There comes a point when someone is upset and mad at themselves that trying more is counterproductive. Working through frustration is good, unless you're so upset and frustrated that you're going to hurt yourself (been there. When I was a teenager my coaches grounded me a couple times. As in, "at least one part of your body must stay on the ground"). Focusing on something else gives you some mental distance, & that's a good thing.

Your coaches care about you more than about the timeline of your giant. Use the slower obvious progress phase to get stronger physically and mentally. You'll get where you're going.

 

[fishchimes]

Sorry to hear that I think I read it's normal to start crying more easily when you reach a certain age. It's like hormone imbalances or something.

If you can, let your coaches know that you're not trying to be whiny or mad at them. When you start getting frustrated and about to cry, it helps to keep your breathing even. You don't have to breathe super deeply or anything but just breathe evenly. When you cry your breathing is uneven, so keeping it even helps keep you from crying.

When I start getting a little teary, I excuse myself to the bathroom to calm down by myself (your coaches will probably let you do that if you don't ask to go 50 times a practice). For example, last practice I wasn't making my vault by myself, and my coach didn't know that the coach I usually worked with vault on ALWAYS spotted me, even when I didn't need or even want it (weird I know). Also, everyone else had the skill by themselves, and the vault was so low (2, and I'm 5'7) that I shouldn't have had a problem. My eyes were starting to tear even though I was keeping a straight face. So I went to the bathroom for a couple of minutes and when I came back I made my vault

 

[my4buffaloes]

I think you need to be proactive with your coaches. See if you can set up a meeting with your parents and your coaches and explain what you just explained here. let them know that your crying is not because of them but because of your frustrations with yourself. The coaches could ask you if everything is Ok, rather than getting upset that you are crying. Tell them how it makes you feel when they say "you're done". That might affect others too. They could easily change what they say to "time to rotate stations".

Coaches have to deal with so many different kids and their personalities that many times they just deal with everyone the same way. It would work better if they could deal with each child individually. Meeting with them and talking it through should help with that. Good luck!

Jennifer

 

[Kiwi]

There comes a point when someone is upset and mad at themselves that trying more is counterproductive.

I'm not a coach or much of a gymnast, but ... I agree, sometimes when something just isn't happening it may be better to take a break from it for a while and come back to it later.

 

[gymjoy]

I'm sorry to here you are having such a bad time right now. Remember that it will pass, but you'll have to do something about it. Maybe it would be good for you to have a talk with your coach before a practice and tell her how you are feeling. Perhaps you can work out a plan together to get you through this rough spot.
Best of luck.