Parents Do you let your child go with coach to big meets?

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LilHawkMom

Proud Parent
Our family has to make a decision about an upcoming big important meet and wanted to hear experiences and thoughts from other parents. Our coach has asked that our child go without us and our child would be the only one going from our gym. I love our coach and trust them, that is not the concern. They would be gone 5 days and would have to fly. Our child has not been on a plane except once as a toddler. I know for me it takes 2-3 days for my ears to feel normal and worry how my child's ears would be too and would that effect the meet. They would only fly in one day before the meet. And just selfishly, we would love to see the meet since it is such an important meet. I keep going back and forth in my head what we should do. Our child seems ok to go out with only coach, but not sure if that is just because the coach talked about doing that and sort of feels like that is what should happen but then also says that would want us to come too. Our child seems just as unsure as we do.
 
How old is your child and what level? What is the reason for why the coaches don't want you to go too?
 
No. And I trust our coach. And I am surprised the gym will allow it.

You shoudl alwas have 2-deep leadership. That means, that there is never an adult alone with a child. Must be other kids, or adult, preferably adult, wtih them.

There are too many questions in this. Is the kid staying alone in a room? Or with the coach?

I just think there are too many what ifs and things that could go wrong, and I an surprised a coach would even suggest such a thing.
 
I would not, either. I remember hearing from other parents that kids are encouraged to travel with their teams and without parents as young as 8 years old. I said I wasn't on board with that, and another parent said we had no choice.

I replied that I do have a choice. I always have a choice when it comes to my kid, and any gym that wants to take that choice will not be my kid's gym for long.
 
I would let my child go. If it is that big of a meet I would not want to miss it. I go go by myself if need be.
 
When I competed many moons ago, stuff like that happened. I have not heard of anything like what you are describing happening in decades. Why does the coach think this is a good idea?
 
Gosh, no.

For a start, as everybody has mentioned, any adult working alongside children should be mindful of risk. They need to be responsible and answerable. No child alone with an adult. Seriously concerning.

Secondly, if I'm good enough to trek her back and forth to training, wipe the tears, wash the leos and pay for the whole damn thing, I absolutely will get to sample the triumph and the joy of seeing her in the kit I slogged my guts out to pay for and watch her strut the stuff we work so hard to allow.

Thirdly, she is my kid and they do not get the say.
 
Our family has to make a decision about an upcoming big important meet and wanted to hear experiences and thoughts from other parents. Our coach has asked that our child go without us and our child would be the only one going from our gym. I love our coach and trust them, that is not the concern. They would be gone 5 days and would have to fly. Our child has not been on a plane except once as a toddler. I know for me it takes 2-3 days for my ears to feel normal and worry how my child's ears would be too and would that effect the meet. They would only fly in one day before the meet. And just selfishly, we would love to see the meet since it is such an important meet. I keep going back and forth in my head what we should do. Our child seems ok to go out with only coach, but not sure if that is just because the coach talked about doing that and sort of feels like that is what should happen but then also says that would want us to come too. Our child seems just as unsure as we do.
Seriously concerning especially in light of current understanding on how / when child abuse occurs- even IF totally innocent the coach is incredibly naive to risk any suggestion of wrong motive . There is no way a child of mine would travel without a second chaperone!!
 
Just curious, you've deliberately avoided specifying the sex or age of your child or the coach. Do you think that it makes a difference?

It's a big ask to look after another person's child for 5 days, even for family, so unless you were saying you couldn't afford to go, why would they volunteer to do this. I find this all very strange.
 
No sorry dont like the sound of it. 5 days is a long time. I think it makes a difference if you couldn't go and coach offered then but depends on age of child even then. Teenager maybe, small child no.
 
First, if this is what I think it is, CONGRATULATIONS! :p

Second, I'd talk with the coach more about the reasons for wanting your child to go to the meet without parents or guardians. I would probably still be inclined to say no, but I'd want to hear the reasoning, and I'd talk to the coach about the coach's job (coaching, physically and mentally preparing the athlete for competition) and your job (caring for the health and emotional stability of your child). The coach may just need some assurance that the parents will be there in a supportive role to facilitate the athlete's participation and will stay in the background.

Good luck. I hope it goes tremendously well.
 
Well we went to a pretty big meet this year (P&Gs) to watch and all the gymnasts parents were there, we saw them walking around before and after. And that is a pretty big meet.

I would say no. There is no reason in the world the coach needs to be one-on-one with your child for 5 days. What about hotel rooms? Coaches should never share a room with a child - especially not one-on-one. I would definitely send a parent there too.
 
No. You are saying child.....you do what is in your child's best interest.....
Even if my 'child' is 17 asks asks me to go, I'm there.
 
I can't imagine our coach, or any coach for that matter, asking parents not to go to their child's meet! That alone would not sit right with me under any circumstance.
 
Heck, My4, we ran into Jonathan Horton's parents at breakfast the day of the senior men's finals! We were very star-struck, but they were really nice dedicated gym parents who've obviously taken a lot of joy in watching their son compete over the years.

Again, I think the key here is getting at the concerns that may be driving this request.
 
I don't believe its fair for a gym to tell you to send your child anywhere without you. If my child is going out of town and has to stay in a hotel, it will never be without me. It doesn't matter if its costing a lot for us to go together I would never allow her to share a room with a coach. If it is a camp and they are accommodated separately then that is the only time it would be acceptable to me.
 
I'm with everyone else. First of all, your child's age and level would play a part in my answer....because come on...what is a "important" meet at the compulsory level meet that would require a plane trip but that a parent wouldn't be welcome to attend?

My child stayed one night with her coach in a hotel room and I was perfectly fine with it because they were traveling as a group and the HC just happened to pull the short straw (ha ha) and I'm friends with DD's coach so I know her very well and DD and I have traveled with her before so it wasn't such a big jump for me to let DD go up to camp with her.

But, I CHOSE not to go on that trip. No one banned me or discouraged me from coming. I don't ever like the "parent can't accompany child" rule for anything short of emergency surgery. A dentist tried to pull that crap once and we walked straight out of the office.
 

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