Ever run into resentment from parents or kids to new kids moving up?

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A few weeks ago, four kids at level 6 were moved up from level 6 to level 7 after state and will now compete at level 7 for the remainder of the season. They were the higher scoring kids from level 6 and were clearly ready to move up. The problem is these kids are younger than the current level 7's by 2-3 years and there is a lot of resentment from the kids at 7 and their parents. The kids always got along great but now there is animosity. Any ideas how to handle it? My kid is one of the ones that got moved up.
 
My DD just scored out of Level 6 and is now competing Level 7 with girls that were level 7 last year and she is a lot younger then they are. However, I have not heard of any problems so far. Everyone is very supportive of each other. My DD does not train at the same time as the other optionals though, so that makes the situation different. I would just ignore most of it and be overly nice to the parents and gymnasts. Why are they worried anyway? If their daughters are several years older then they probably won't compete against each other anyway. It sounds like they are insecure. Good luck!
 
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i hear you Stella, isn't it pitiful when this happens? and guess who's feeling it worse than you?? that's right...your child. just pitiful.
 
You know, of course there will be some resentment, its just human nature. Imagine how it feels for those girls on the other side. To be older and have trained longer and these kids who come through are younger, have been around for less time and they surpass you. It does hurt and it should. These kids care about their progress and are passionate about their gymnastics.

Of course the younger kids may need to move up faster, they need the challenge and that is fair too. They should move up if they are ready.

But be accepting that it is going to be hard for these other kids and they are going to be jealous and there is nothing wrong with that.
 
I have found that the resentment I have seen is usually by the ones who aren't moved up..and not so much by the ones who are already at the level. I would just ignore it and let your daughter's results speak for herself.
 
In this case I think that the feeling are natural, as Aussie_coach pointed out. Over time, and with the right encouragement from the coaches, thing will work out. I wouldn't dwell on it too much, and if my dd were involved I'd be talking to her about the other girls side of things so that she could understand the feeling going around and help move past them.
 
I can't say I've personally experienced this in gymnastics. I know it can be hard when it does happen but really the kids will learn to adjust and accept in time it's all part of learning how to deal with real life situations and this is one of them. Don't know If I can say the same for the adults as I have seen some adults carry baggage like that around for awhile.
 
I have to say I've felt a little bit of resentment from some parents at DD's new gym. I can't say for sure that it exists, but I feel something and some comments have bothered me. DD's was only 5 when we started at the new gym recently and one of the mom's talked very loudly within my earshot about how wrong it was for the gym to allow her to be in level 4 when she's only 5. They should have made her do Level 3 and wait to move up with the new Level 4's. Then she said she was going to ask to have her 5 year old moved to Level 4 right now because it they let my DD at 5 they should let her DD (she also has an 8 year old Level 4 - 2nd year). The difference is that my DD has already been training Level 4 since last March. She has all of her level 4 skills and some level 5 skills. She wasn't really a new level 4. It would have been completely a waste to put her in Level 3. I wish I had the guts to speak up, but I just sat their quietly. Is it wrong of me to secretly feel so pleased that my baby outscored her 2nd year level 4 who is now moving to L5 today at the meet? I know it is, but I can't say I wasn't glad.

Then a whole other group of moms were talking about which group she belonged with. They were irritated that the coaches put her with the L4's training L5 one day. They are all 2nd year L4's and that's the norm. They were saying it would be unfair to let her be with that group even next year because technically she hadn't competed a year of level 4 and that's just not how things are done. I know it's just jealousy. I just ignore and try to be as friendly as possible. I'm not there to make friends.

The girls have all been really, really nice to DD.
 
I have to say I've felt a little bit of resentment from some parents at DD's new gym. I can't say for sure that it exists, but I feel something and some comments have bothered me. DD's was only 5 when we started at the new gym recently and one of the mom's talked very loudly within my earshot about how wrong it was for the gym to allow her to be in level 4 when she's only 5. They should have made her do Level 3 and wait to move up with the new Level 4's. Then she said she was going to ask to have her 5 year old moved to Level 4 right now because it they let my DD at 5 they should let her DD (she also has an 8 year old Level 4 - 2nd year). The difference is that my DD has already been training Level 4 since last March. She has all of her level 4 skills and some level 5 skills. She wasn't really a new level 4. It would have been completely a waste to put her in Level 3. I wish I had the guts to speak up, but I just sat their quietly. Is it wrong of me to secretly feel so pleased that my baby outscored her 2nd year level 4 who is now moving to L5 today at the meet? I know it is, but I can't say I wasn't glad.

Then a whole other group of moms were talking about which group she belonged with. They were irritated that the coaches put her with the L4's training L5 one day. They are all 2nd year L4's and that's the norm. They were saying it would be unfair to let her be with that group even next year because technically she hadn't competed a year of level 4 and that's just not how things are done. I know it's just jealousy. I just ignore and try to be as friendly as possible. I'm not there to make friends.

The girls have all been really, really nice to DD.

Folks have to get over the jealousy thing and it's hard when you hear it about your child but it really is their problem. Keep supporting your DD and know that she is right where she should be. It actually sounds like they are training her for L5 for the next year so she can compete L5. And L4 actually isn't required in USAG. Many areas don't even compete that level. I wish you and your DD the best and hope she moves to L5 for the fall. I'm sure that will cause the gossip mill to move into overdrive too.
 
A few weeks ago, four kids at level 6 were moved up from level 6 to level 7 after state and will now compete at level 7 for the remainder of the season. They were the higher scoring kids from level 6 and were clearly ready to move up. The problem is these kids are younger than the current level 7's by 2-3 years and there is a lot of resentment from the kids at 7 and their parents. The kids always got along great but now there is animosity. Any ideas how to handle it? My kid is one of the ones that got moved up.

My DD has gone through this (at a different level) and it stinks! Make sure you let the coaches know what is going on.
 
Folks have to get over the jealousy thing and it's hard when you hear it about your child but it really is their problem. Keep supporting your DD and know that she is right where she should be. It actually sounds like they are training her for L5 for the next year so she can compete L5. And L4 actually isn't required in USAG. Many areas don't even compete that level. I wish you and your DD the best and hope she moves to L5 for the fall. I'm sure that will cause the gossip mill to move into overdrive too.

She will only be 6 next fall so she's definitely competing L4, which I'm completely happy about. Her gym has a system, though I'm sure they have deviated from it in the past. 1st year level 4's are all grouped together and compete achievement until they score a 34AA. Then they want the girls to score a 36 to move to L5. If you score that your first year you move on. The 2nd year L4's are called L4-training L5. These parents were upset or irritated thinking they will put her with that group when she wasn't on her 2nd year of L4. I don't know what they will do, but I suspect she will be with that group. It would make sense because the first year L4's will start the year out learning L4 skills and the routines. DD already knows them. Most of these parents have girls that will move to L5 shortly so I'm just smiling and keeping to myself.
 
My dd has been moved up a few times now, more quickly than her peers - and yes, it does create some animosity, both for her and for me as well, with the other parents. My strategy (and really this is just my personality in general) is to be nicer than ever, be very humble about the whole situation, and compliment the other athletes in the gym for new skills, hard work, dedication, etc. My dd tends to be well-liked, and so far any ill feelings have dissipated fairly quickly. Truly, this is not a sport for the faint of heart!

Cheers,
Sparky
 
when my dd was placed on preteam last january(at our gym, preteam is training level 4 but not competing) another little girl (and mom) we had never met before was placed on preteam, too. She had come out of the rec program (she's a year older than my dd) and my dd had come from the "developmental" class. Well, my dd only stayed on the preteam for about 2 1/2 months and was moved to team. This other little girl wasn't. My dd is younger, so this really ticked the mom off. She gave me the cold shoulder for about 3 months (not kidding!) and my dd says her dd is mean to her-kind of a bully, and she was glad that she had moved up so that she didn't have to be around her anymore. Well, late last October, this other girl was finally moved up to the team, with the intention of starting to compete this january. Her mom is all happy, smiles and super nice to us, and my dd says that this little girl is nicer and more fun to be around...everything is going great until two weeks ago, when the HC starts pulling my dd out of the level 4's and is having her work out with the 5's (my dd has all her level 5 skills, and she already competed a season(5 meets) at level 4-we know she will also do 4 meets Jan-March at level 4) Guess what??? mom is mad again, won't speak to me, except to ask why HER daughter cant practice with the 5's, my dd is saying that this little girl is being a bully to her again, saying mean things at the water fountain, etc...starting all over again...

I hope they leave soon. (!) I don't know if I can take this through too many more levels.

Oh, and BTW...all the "real" level 5's(lol) are older than my dd, and they all get along great...very friendly and accepting to my daughter...it's just this one particular pushy mom and kid.
~*sigh*~
 
My dd has been moved up a few times now, more quickly than her peers - and yes, it does create some animosity, both for her and for me as well, with the other parents. My strategy (and really this is just my personality in general) is to be nicer than ever, be very humble about the whole situation, and compliment the other athletes in the gym for new skills, hard work, dedication, etc. My dd tends to be well-liked, and so far any ill feelings have dissipated fairly quickly. Truly, this is not a sport for the faint of heart!

Cheers,
Sparky
You have a very wise approach, and you will go far as a gym mom. :)
 
I know that when we came to our current gym there was talk about my dd because she skipped all the pre-team stuff. My dd was doing rec gymnastics for a couple months and she came to her current gym as a level 4. People were saying it was fair for her to just walk in and start as a level 4. My dd has done very well and is one of the top 3 on her level 6 team and will sometimes work with the head coach who has her do higher level stuff. He had her doing a back handspring on beam on her own and you could just hear the whispers from the parents about her doing that because he wasn't having their kid do it. He also says she will have no problems moving one level a year to get to level 10 and again I can sense resentment from that. She is very humble and she doesn’t talk about her gym plans with her team mates, she doesn't brag or say she can do such and such but as we get ready to move into optionals she knows not everyone will move up at the same rate anymore and the team dynamic will shift.

I also feel it with my mini team kid who again started gymnastics in June and skipped the pre-team level before. She is 5 and can do things the kids who have progressed the 'normal' way can't. She is the youngest on this team that will be level 4's in June. Some of the kids are starting to be nasty to her and that bums me out. She made her fly away a couple weeks ago and went over the table too and she got a lot of lip from the level 5's who are uptraining that skill for next year. It's not like she is really even being taught this stuff she just suckers the coaches into spotting her and they do, lol. She refused to leave the gym the other week until she did her fly away so she found a coach to spot her on the low bar, they did it twice and then she went to the pit bar and did it with out any spotting. Now her that coach have a 'date' each night she is at the gym to do 3 fly aways.
 
Twoofthem: It does sound like some jealousy from parents, but I'm just wondering also, if the coach is showing some favoritism to your daughter during practices? Of course, I don't know and I am not there, but if he's coaching her on BHS on beam during practices, I wonder if the other girls get the same type of one on one attention? I can definitely see some resentment from the other parents if your DD is the "favored" one. Lots of info on CB about that whole scenario.

He also says she will have no problems moving one level a year to get to level 10

Re: the above comment, that' all well and good, but I definitely would NOT be looking that far ahead!!! So much can happen between L4 and L10!!! She may get stuck on a skill or two and need to repeat a Level, she may develop fears or mental blocks that may stall her development as a gymnast as well. It is very common for girls to repeat optional levels too. It's so hard to not get caught up in all the excitement that gymnastics is, but as parents, we need to keep an even keel when it comes to the sport.
 
TQM: Not that I am necessarily disagreeing with your statement, but twoofthem states, "My dd has done very well and is one of the top 3 on her level 6 team and will sometimes work with the head coach who has her do higher level stuff."

Her DD is level 6, not 4.

Carry on:)
 
[FONT=Calibri said:
I also feel it with my mini team kid who again started gymnastics in June and skipped the pre-team level before. She is 5 and can do things the kids who have progressed the 'normal' way can't. She is the youngest on this team that will be level 4's in June. Some of the kids are starting to be nasty to her and that bums me out. She made her fly away a couple weeks ago and went over the table too and she got a lot of lip from the level 5's who are uptraining that skill for next year. It's not like she is really even being taught this stuff she just suckers the coaches into spotting her and they do, lol. She refused to leave the gym the other week until she did her fly away so she found a coach to spot her on the low bar, they did it twice and then she went to the pit bar and did it with out any spotting. Now her that coach have a 'date' each night she is at the gym to do 3 fly aways. [/FONT]

I am confused is your level 4 dd doing fly-aways? Although doing up skills is fun, I would be a bit concerned if the basics are being skipped over in favor of the fun skills.

Back to the OP, of course there will be parents that compare their kid etc. and may not be so happy if they are not moving as quickly as another gymnast. However, each gymnast is unique and needs to move through the levels at whatever rate is appropriate for them. Case in point I have a friend whose dd was on pre-team forever... 3 years. Girls kept getting moved to team but not her daughter. She stayed there and worked on basic skills. The next summer they finally moved her to level 4. She competed level 4 in the fall scored 38 AA won state, competed level 5 in the spring and within 1 year was an accomplished level 6 gymnast caught up to all those girls who fast-tracked. She never felt rushed to learn skills, because she had basics and for her it was the right decision, some kids need to move fast others slow.
Parents need to look at the big picture. Slow and steady (with good form) wins the race....
 
TQM: Not that I am necessarily disagreeing with your statement, but twoofthem states, "My dd has done very well and is one of the top 3 on her level 6 team and will sometimes work with the head coach who has her do higher level stuff."

Her DD is level 6, not 4.

Carry on:)

Mybad on the level confusion.... I still wonder about the favoritism possibly being shown... and nothing can create rancor more than a perception that one (or a few) are being singled out for "special" treatment. I do know of gyms wanting to provide more "higher level" training (for lack of a better phrase), and they will bring those in at a different time or day in order to avoid such scenarios.
 

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