WAG House Chores

[suzyq7069]

My DD is fixing to turn 12 and is level 6 optionals and practices Mon-Fri 4:30-8. She gets home from school at 3. During that time before gym she has a snack and does her homework. She really never has time for house chores. I am wanting to teach her those kinds of responsibilities but I feel like she doesn't have time. Also her dad and I are divorced so she's only home 2 wknds out of the mth and on the off wknds she's home, she goes to her dads on sunday. I struggle with the choice on the wknds time for chores or allow her to just chill or hang with friends like a normal kid.

 

[Iwannabemargo]

What is your purpose in giving her chores ?

To ease you burden or teach her responsibility and discipline ?

I would say if she has made level 6, is on top of the ridiculous mountain of homework you seem to get and is polite and well mannered then she has learned that lesson already !

 

[Amusibus]

Good point.

 

[Flossyduck]

I know exactly where you are coming from. My daughter's room is a tip and a friend's mum teased her the other day saying "you may be able to do all sorts of gymnastics tricks, but you don't know how to wash up" (she'd been round for tea and been a bit at sea when her friend was told to clear the table).

Initially I wondered if I had my priorities wrong, but very quickly thought 'what the heck'! My dd does her homework, is kind and hardworking and well mannered She needs some time to watch tv in her pajamas and fiddle with loom bands. Plenty of time for washing up when she's older!

 

[bookworm]

My kids never really had "chores" per se...I had a friend growing up who was one of 7 and basically ran the house and raised her younger siblings and I remember taking to my mom about that one day and her take on it because I didn't have a chore filled life and my mother's response was "your job is to be a kid, my job is to raise you to be a good kid...." and that's basically the philosophy i've used with my kids ...they're polite, kind , do well in school and participate in gym and other activities.....although I will admit, i do encourage them to make their beds!!

 

[mom2agymnast]

My daughter is also 12 and level 6 with just about the same hours. The only chores she has to do is keep her room picked up and then every other week her and her sister switch off either doing the cats litter box (that was the agreement when we got the kitties) or loading/unloading the dishwasher, so they really only have one chore per week.

 

[Natasha]

My daughter has chores in the summertime, varied each week so that she can learn the essential life skills (learning to wash clothes, help cook, cleaning, etc.) During the school week she is just expected to pick up after herself and she cleans her room on weekends. I've struggled with this as both of her siblings have more chores than she does.

 

[htimcj]

I seem to be in the minority here but my DD has had chores since she was about 3 ( things that we could help with and enjoyed like feeding the pets) It has increased by one chore every year since then. These are all things that happen on a daily basis. For example she sets and clears the table every night, feeds the pets, empties the trash cans once a week, cooks a meal once a week ( she has actually really enjoyed this one a lot and has turned into a really nice cook) and water the plants once a week. She also does her own laundry but not because it is a chores, she got tired of waiting for me to get a round her clothes. None of these takes all that long and it shows that everyone needs to contribute to the house. On the other hand I have long given up on getting her to keep her room clean. I just shut the door

 

[l.c.o]

My DD (10) doesn't have many regular, assigned chores except for maintaining her personal pet. That said, we tend to clean up after dinner together as a family. If she isn't home at dinnertime (often), then she gets a free pass. When home during the summer and on weekends, the kids often tend to their own lunches (with set requirements). DD also enjoys helping with folding/putting away laundry, which I suspect is because we usually get to just chat.

She'll also sometimes help with other chores when she's around (like taking out the trash, dusting, vacuuming, or wiping down the bathroom), but it's really irregular. I guess I look at it as I want to teach her HOW to do them and to have her slowly begin to understand what needs to be done to run a home. One day soon we'll add in some cooking. (And side note, little bro is learning all of the same at the same pace she did).

She does 16 hours per week in the gym on top of school, homework and reading. Plus, like others said, she needs time to be a kid.

 

[cbifoja]

Mine also doesn't really have chores. She is 10 and I know when I was her age, I was doing a LOT to help out around the house. But I also didn't train 20 hours a week so it's a wash.

I do have a rule that she cannot have friends over if her room is messy and because she loves having her friends over on her two off days, she keeps her room pretty tidy these days. In the past, I would have to nag her to clean her room, but then I realized it was simple enough to tie in something that she wants with something that I want. Now we're both happy.

 

[MaryA]

My kids have chores in the summer. During the school year, we try to enforce the rule that everyone cleans up after him/herself (dishes rinsed and in the dishwasher, luch boxes cleaned out, backpacks and coats hung up, etc.) but otherwise it's more on an "as needed" basis... "We're all going to pitch in and clean up the downstairs" or whatever... And mainly that's on weekends.

 

[gymgal]

As parents, we all have different views of whether children should do chores or if parents should be responsible and to each his/her own in terms of philosophy. But if you feel your child should do chores and you are grappling with whether it's fair because she is in the gym so much, then have her do the chores. Start with one and add more gradually. It really does not take much time from their day.

like htimcj, my kids have had chores since they turned 3. They have weekly chores that get rotated every month among the three kids (bathrooms, dusting/vacuuming, outside sweeping) and then they have daily chores that get shared based on who is around (dishwasher, setting/cleaning table, pans, sweeping, garbage, feeding cats, etc). They are also each in charge of stripping/making their beds weekly and washing/folding their laundry. The weekly chores take them no more than an hour total and the daily ones are quick 10 min chores. Eaves plenty of time for them to still have down time for themselves. BTW, dd is in the gym 25 hours a week, not including the 60min total drive time each day. She manages her chores just fine...

 

[Natasha]

My dd just is not physically home enough during the week to do chores…she leaves the house before 8am and returns after 9pm, and has to eat and do homework….so only weekend chores during the school year.

 

[2G1B]

I personally feel like helping with the family is important. To me, ultimately, gymnastics and doing well in school are things that the kids are doing because it will benefit THEM. They love gymnastics and WANT to be there. While school and homework aren't always their idea of fun, when pressed they have aspirations of jobs that will require college degrees, so they need to get school stuff done.

Chores are things that are part of contributing to helping the FAMILY, not just themselves. They are expected to pick up after themselves and in addition to that they share duties of taking care of the cat and dog, putting folded towels and sheets away (in addition to their own clothes) and unloading the dishwasher each day. It used to be that they all 3 did it together; but I got sick of the bickering, so now each kid has to do it for a week. They also empty the trash and set/clear the table. I haven't really added any new chores in the last few years; but have considered having them start doing their own laundry.

If it is a crazy practice day I will help them out with stuff, like I will walk the dog before picking the kids up from school or might even unload the dishwasher if it is a particularly crazy day. But overall they know that they have to do these jobs and it is just part of being in our family.

I guess if they ever get to the point of 5 day per week practice I might have to reconsider; but I'm not sure that we will get there. Also, after elementary school is done they go in to school later, so they could do some stuff (like the dishwasher) in the morning. The middle school bus doesn't even come until almost 9:00 in the morning!

 

[raenndrops]

OG and YG's stepmom has a Chore Chart hanging on the refrigerator... each day, each child has one chore. YG either feeds the dogs, chickens, and bunny... or scoops the litter box (only applies when she is here - every other week and up to 3 days on the off weeks). She alternates with younger stepsister. OG, Older stepsis, Older bro, and younger (by 10 months) bro share 2 loads of laundry, dishes, and vaccuuming. Each does one a day... but OG is RARELY here, so her chore is usually split amongst the other 3.

I HATE the chore chart! Older stepsis is the only one that has NOTHING going on other than school and 1 night youth group.
Older bro - school... work 20-30 hrs a week (but at the shop up to 45 hours - does some schooling on breaks)... youth group... Boy Scouts (working on his Eagle Scout).
OG - school... tech club (1-2 days a week)... choir... band... gymnastics (2-3 days a week)
younger bro - school... youth group... boy scouts... tech club
YG - school... gymnastics (3 days a week)
Younger stepsis - school... gymnastics (2 days a week)... dance

Just seems that if you aren't there, you shouldn't have to do the work... not here means not making dirty clothes or dishes, etc.

 

[SurpriseGymMom]

I'm the mean mom. My kids have set chores, and they both have very time consuming activities and lots of homework.
Thing is, because of their activities, *I* am also gone from early in the morning until late at night. I come home (from work) long enough during the day to figure out something for us all to eat etc, and then I have to start picking them up and chauffeuring then around. Their activities are far enough from the house that it would cost a small fortune to drive home while they practice, plus they are in two different places and at somewhat coordinated times but still different enough to where it truly doesn't make sense for me to drive all the way home only to turn around and drive back less than an hour (at best) later.
Soooo... I tell them they can help out, by necessity, because I do not have time to get it all done, or I can stay home in the afternoons/evenings and take care of the housework. That would mean they cannot be at their activities. Their choice.

It makes for some very long days at times, if they have a "larger" chore such as unloading the dishwasher that needs to be done when we get home rather than say Sunday morning. But, it does need to get done in order for the household to function. They have the get their homework done as well.

We all do more massive chores and housework on the weekends (after Saturday practices/rehearsals). Laundry, major cleaning, vacuuming whole house, cleaning floors.... All that gets done during the weekend.

They always had chores, since they were small, because that is part of living in a house. We all help out, I am not a slave. It's not "fair" to me to expect me to want to clean up everyone's messes after I have been out and about all day long. I'm just as eager to get some downtime as anyone else who lives in the house, so we all help and get it done. their chores are not overwhelming, for instance my 10 yo has to unload the dishwasher, feed the cats, stick vacuum the kitchen (not every day), keep her room tidy and help dusting. My 13yo has to load the dishwasher (I do help out with this frequently rather than let dishes sit), vacuum the living room, clean the cat litter, keep her room tidy and help with folding the laundry. They also have to clean their own bathroom every weekend.

 

[happychaos]

My DD has chores, for sure. School and her instrument are her "jobs". Gymnastics is not. I think of gymnastics as a way she spends her free time. Just because she chooses to spend most of her free time at the gym doesn't mean she gets a pass on chores. She generates plenty of laundry and dishes, and she is old enough to help with those things. I don't want her to have "special status" in the family as the one who doesn't have to contribute just because she is a gymnast. And sheesh, I spend enough time acting as her chauffer, I don't need to become her maid too!

 

[cbifoja]

Maybe I don't use the word chore right, after reading everything above. I don't consider picking up after herself a "chore" per se. It's just what we do before we go to bed. I don't consider setting and clearing a table a chore. But she does that too. I wouldn't call stripping and making a bed and bringing all her laundry downstairs and then putting it up after it's been washed and folded a chore but again she does it.

When I think of chores I think of: vacuuming, cleaning entire rooms, dusting, laundry, dishes, mowing, taking out trash. And she doesn't do any of that for various reasons. But she does help out around the house in ways that I think are reasonable.

 

[Flossyduck]

Yes ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ I agree. When I read the other responses after mine I don't feel too bad about allowing my dd to skip 'chores' because she does a lot of the things some people have listed.

My kids look after their pets (feed and clean them), help with cooking and baking and putting shopping away and also in the garden. They don't count as chores to me or to them. We enjoy doing those sort of things together.

I ask them to bring me their washing and tidy their stuff out of the sitting room when they've finished playing with it. They don't count as chores either - just good manners. I don't ask them to mop, or wash up, or clean the bathroom, or wash the car or any of that sort of stuff.

 

[MILgymFAM]

In my mind, chores are associated with allowance. Since my kids don't get an allowance (I don't see the need for it, nor can we really afford it), in my mind they don't do "chores." What they do, however, is whatever I ask of them at a particular moment, including (over the past few months): running a load of laundry, loading or unloading the dishwasher, taking out the trash, vacuuming, sweeping or mopping, cleaning the bathrooms, gardening, and cooking. None of it on a regular schedule, just chip in wherever I need them. Obviously they are responsible at all times for their own rooms. I look at it like this. I get run ragged from their activities, school stuff, and driving my hubby to/fro, in addition to doing nearly all the cleaning, and cooking at least two meals a day from scratch. If we are running late and I need their help, they should do it with a smile, because we are only running around for them in the first place.