Parents How to prepare for not making team

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Kdg303

Proud Parent
Hi all!
I am new here. My 8 yo dd was asked to try out for team this past week along with another gymnast in her class. I think she did fantabulous :) but I'm not a coach. At their in house show, all the parents were told that once a gymnast gets all the skills on all apparatuses, they generally can move up. So even if they have everything but a back hip circle, they can't move up. Hence the reason only 2 girls were asked to try out.

So my dd has everything but a back walk over. She has it but not consistently. She attempted during her tryout but did a standing back bend then kicked over. It didn't all connect in that pretty flowy way lol. So after, the head coach told them he would talk to the rec coach and let them know in a week. My dd has been excited and antsy ever since. Like literally counting the days lol. It's her dream to join team and she believes she made it. I'm excited for her but I'm also thinking there's a chance she won't make it cause of bwo and her form isn't the best.

So my question is should I mentally prepare her for the chances of not making it and how? If she was older I wouldn't be worried because It's healthy and normal to experience that. I experienced it at age 12 when I didn't make the softball team. But at 8 I'm not sure if she's that mature. She's my first child and this is our first tryout at anything so I'm like crazy protective lol. My maternal instinct wants to soften the blow just in case but not make her doubt herself at the same time. Help please! Thanks!
 
Deal with it if and when it happens. I would also assume if she doesn't make it now it's not forever. So the prep would be more work on skills.
 
Thanks that is what I was thinking but since this is all new I didn't know if parents "prep" their kids in case they don't make a team sport. My son has "tryouts" for youth football but he gets placed regardless

And yes if she doesn't make it she can tryout again next year in May, so a lot of time to perfect her skills and form which is fine with me since it's less time commitment with rec.
 
I have 4 kids and I always worry. I too am over protective with their feelings and I've always tried to soften the blow. But I'll say from experience, it is best to just wait until things happen. The times, and there were many, that I've tried to "soften the blow" 1) I think they felt I had no faith in them; 2) it might have softened the blow when the actual news hit, but it still hit hard at my first warning; 3) it lessened the excitement when the good news came. I say let the chips fall where they may. If the bad news hits, offer fun alternatives to take their minds off it and give her a big reassuring hug. Kids are more resilient than we think; and often times bad news hits the parents harder.

P.S. She'll likely make the team. If she was asked to try out, the coaches feel she is ready. The bwo is so close, even if she currently does not have it, the coaches may feel she'll get it soon enough,
 
I would focus a bit in my conversations/reflections when she is talking about it, like "how cool was that to get a chance to try out". And, "you looked like you had fun at try outs". Then wait for the "verdict" and make sure if she didn't make it, not to say "you were cut", but instead, you get to work hard at a sport you love working on more new fun skills.
 
I like to live by the motto "hope for the best but prepare for the worst". I encourage my kids and cheer them on, but also make sure that there is a good dose of reality thrown in there all the time. As in last year my 7/8 year old really wanted to do L7. BUT bars were likely not going to be quite to the level her coaches wanted. I told her to work really hard, and go for it, and if it didn't happen, that was okay too! She could feel good knowing that she did her best and it would all be fine in the end. She didn't do 7, but did 6 and honestly, it WAS for the best. :) I don't crush her dreams, but I strongly emphasize that the REAL reward is the working hard and going for it part , as opposed to the "winning it" part of the dream. It seems to keep DD dreaming big but not crushed when things don't always go her way. :)
 
I like to live by the motto "hope for the best but prepare for the worst". I encourage my kids and cheer them on, but also make sure that there is a good dose of reality thrown in there all the time. As in last year my 7/8 year old really wanted to do L7. BUT bars were likely not going to be quite to the level her coaches wanted. I told her to work really hard, and go for it, and if it didn't happen, that was okay too! She could feel good knowing that she did her best and it would all be fine in the end. She didn't do 7, but did 6 and honestly, it WAS for the best. :) I don't crush her dreams, but I strongly emphasize that the REAL reward is the working hard and going for it part , as opposed to the "winning it" part of the dream. It seems to keep DD dreaming big but not crushed when things don't always go her way. :)

Thank you for this! Next time she brings it up I will focus on her doing her best even if she doesn't make it.

Thank you everyone for your responses!
 
I like to live by the motto "hope for the best but prepare for the worst". I encourage my kids and cheer them on, but also make sure that there is a good dose of reality thrown in there all the time. As in last year my 7/8 year old really wanted to do L7. BUT bars were likely not going to be quite to the level her coaches wanted. I told her to work really hard, and go for it, and if it didn't happen, that was okay too! She could feel good knowing that she did her best and it would all be fine in the end. She didn't do 7, but did 6 and honestly, it WAS for the best. :) I don't crush her dreams, but I strongly emphasize that the REAL reward is the working hard and going for it part , as opposed to the "winning it" part of the dream. It seems to keep DD dreaming big but not crushed when things don't always go her way. :)

I take this approach as well. And I think the difference is your daughter (and mine) already knows what's required to move up levels and the amount of effort. This child is not yet there. So that's why I say cross the bridge when you get there.

Makes me grateful our gyms don't do "preteam". Kids just take classes and get skills. And coaches decide who goes team and when. Now I've seen parents get on the crazy bus about it.

They really don't even get it so much until the competition Leo's come in and their first mock meet. To them they are just going more days a week.

Once on team they then get the hang of, needing skills and elements to move. Then it becomes about the work.

And perhaps down the road, this is as far as it going to go for an individual gymmie, for many potential reasons.

But for now cross the bridge if you get ther regarding team.
 

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