Parents Intense kindergarten+level 2 gymnastics. Help!

[flipnastic]

My 5 yo is having a rough time in kindergarten. This is our first kid in school so we are new to the whole thing, but I'm honestly pretty shocked so far! She has recess everyday, and pe some days, but no center time to where they can just play. Evidentally the new approach is that they have stations where they are still working on math or writing skills instead of imaginary and creative play. Also, homework every night 30+ minutes. Yall, she is beyond exhausted mentally when I pick her up from school, and she tenses up when I mention homework. She walked to kindergarten this morning with her head down about to cry. She hits her wall with homework every night.

So, add gymnastics. School lets out at 3:45 so we get there at 4:20-4:30, 20-30 min late(30 min commute). Last night was her first rough night since school started. Lots of frog jumps for not listening, tears, etc. when I talked to her after, she said "I tried putting my thinking cap on but I couldn't bc I used my thinking cap so long at kindergarten. My brain wouldn't work" and she broke down. Later, we asked if she still likes her gymnastics and she said "yes, I love it"

Yes, I know school is more important than gymnastics. And I know it takes time to adjust. But I feel like this is too much, and something may have to change after comp season is over in October. She would be devastated quitting. Every time I mention trying out dance or soccer, she looks sad and says, no, I only want to do gymnastics. It's my favorite!

So help!!!!! I am trying to encourage her and talk about all the wonderful things in kindergarten, make homework fun, etc...please tell me this is normal and gets better?!?

 

[mai_lin]

Our schedule is exactly the same - out at 3:45 and then practice at 4:15. Recess every day but no other "down time". She adjusted just fine and we eventually got into our new groove. When I pick her up at 7:30 she comes home, finishes any homework she didn't finish while waiting for carpool pick up and also eats dinner (which we try to have on the table ready for her as soon as she walks in the door).

I'll add that she's advanced in school - her BOG testing put her as having already completed all required work for 3rd grade. So homework is about 30 min each night and most of that is required reading. Her teacher has been great about giving us a list of homework she can push to the 2 days she doesn't have gym. I think communication is really important with teachers. Its very doable... and if its not at this level then it'll be even worse as time goes on and more gym time is required.

 

[flipnastic]

Our schedule is exactly the same - out at 3:45 and then practice at 4:15. Recess every day but no other "down time". She adjusted just fine and we eventually got into our new groove. When I pick her up at 7:30 she comes home, finishes any homework she didn't finish while waiting for carpool pick up and also eats dinner (which we try to have on the table ready for her as soon as she walks in the door).

How long did the adjustment take? She's was in kindergarten?

 

[mai_lin]

She's the middle girl and all our kids are busy so it wasn't hard at all, really. She's used to being busy. We do year round school here so I think coming off summer would be harder. We've never had a real issue with this. We've made it clear to hear that she needs to let us know ahead of time if she needs extra school work time - we'll make sure to pick her up 30 min early from practice (which we really avoid) or have things ready for her at home for concentrated homework time.

I think its child dependent, some adjust to change faster. I'd say within 2 weeks we were good. The hardest part has been not having free time to play with neighborhood friends...

 

[Iwannabemargo]

It will take a bit of time. Our Children start school here the year before their 5th birthday, so at 5 ours are full time proper school, so I understand that, however there is no more than 1/2 an hour homework once a week, and a of course book reading. She will adjust but it will be hard work for a bit. Is homework really necessary ? Even in year 4 or 5 I used to send Pink in with a note saying she hadn't done her homework as she didn't have time, and if it was a problem to take it up with me, no-one ever did.

 

[flipnastic]

This is by far my biggest issue. Too much homework. It's draining for everyone and it seems excessive for a 5 year old. She did prek at her daycare last year and she seems ahead academically...spelling 3-4 letter words, counts to 100, etc. but she needs time to let her brain rest I feel.

It will take a bit of time. Our Children start school here the year before their 5th birthday, so at 5 ours are full time proper school, so I understand that, however there is no more than 1/2 an hour homework once a week, and a of course book reading. She will adjust but it will be hard work for a bit. Is homework really necessary ? Even in year 4 or 5 I used to send Pink in with a note saying she hadn't done her homework as she didn't have time, and if it was a problem to take it up with me, no-one ever did.

 

[raenndrops]

In kindergarten, 30+ minutes of homework a day is ridiculous... Speaking as a teacher, even when you add in nightly reading, 20 minutes max in grades K-3. Studies have shown that homework does NOTHING for students. Other they can already do the task at hand, so they only need a few minutes of review... OR they don't know what they are doing and are going to spend the time doing it wrong or being frustrated.

Talk to the teacher. If you don't already get homework for the whole week at the beginning, request it. Then she can do her work on non-gym days.

Good luck.

 

[mai_lin]

My kids have always done 30+ min. of homework, starting in K My 5th grader has about an hour each night but she's also in the gifted program in which most of the work is done at home...

Communicate with the teacher/school - there is a balance to be made but you can't do that unless everyone is aware of the problems

 

[Iwannabemargo]

and just out of curiosity, here I'm sure that homework cannot be made compulsory. What would happen if you said she just isn't doing it ? Even at year 8 now I have told Pink's teachers when they have set useless project work ( really, build a 3D model of a settlement near a river, nope, she will draw a diagram but that is it) that we don't have the time.

 

[gracyomalley]

Full day kindergarten is a big adjustment for at least 75% of the kids I see in my practice. Add gym to that and I would expect a tired, overwhelmed kiddo for several months at least. However, it is sadly (and without any data that shows better long term educational outcomes) the norm these days.

Most kids do adjust, esp if their down time is otherwise protected (as in outside to play or inside coloring, playing make believe etc - not screens). Also, most gym coaches are well aware of the adjustments the kids go through - all the high school kids are extremely tired now on the third week of school over here!

What is her homework and can it be done on the weekend (talk to the teacher)? Can she be picked up early once or twice a week to get some down time? (you'd be surprised how often this is just fine - it has NO educational impact, and even once a week going for frozen yogurt and running around on the grass after school makes a big difference. Sometimes the school may initially make a stink about it, but if a parent insists and the request is reasonable, they rarely argue - they have much bigger truancy fish to fry....)

Also, most kindergarten teachers do still include free play in their stations - with kitchen stations that could have math ("buying things") but where kids can also just play without doing the math. I know because I ask every kid what they like best in school - no one says "math and reading and sitting in my desk writing" at age 5 - they love recess, lunch and free play/make believe station! ) Unless the teacher is brand new and really doesn't understand how 5 year olds learn, I would bet things will settle out and she'll start to enjoy school more as she adjusts.

Lastly, if she is young for her grade that can be a struggle as well - more so for boys, but for some girls as well - so I'd expect it to take more time.

The most important thing about kindergarten is that she should come out of it liking school and liking to learn...THAT does have research to support its importance in long term educational outcomes! At age 5 gym should also be fun and most kids (even in pre-team or Level 2, etc) are usually only going 2-3 times a week...for a couple hours. If she's trying to do more than that I'd question the intensity at this age...extracurricular activities at age 5 are not supposed to be so stressful they impact a kid's happiness...time for that later!

 

[mommyof1]

My 5 yo is having a rough time in kindergarten. This is our first kid in school so we are new to the whole thing, but I'm honestly pretty shocked so far! She has recess everyday, and pe some days, but no center time to where they can just play. Evidentally the new approach is that they have stations where they are still working on math or writing skills instead of imaginary and creative play. Also, homework every night 30+ minutes. Yall, she is beyond exhausted mentally when I pick her up from school, and she tenses up when I mention homework. She walked to kindergarten this morning with her head down about to cry. She hits her wall with homework every night.

So, add gymnastics. School lets out at 3:45 so we get there at 4:20-4:30, 20-30 min late(30 min commute). Last night was her first rough night since school started. Lots of frog jumps for not listening, tears, etc. when I talked to her after, she said "I tried putting my thinking cap on but I couldn't bc I used my thinking cap so long at kindergarten. My brain wouldn't work" and she broke down. Later, we asked if she still likes her gymnastics and she said "yes, I love it"

Yes, I know school is more important than gymnastics. And I know it takes time to adjust. But I feel like this is too much, and something may have to change after comp season is over in October. She would be devastated quitting. Every time I mention trying out dance or soccer, she looks sad and says, no, I only want to do gymnastics. It's my favorite!

So help!!!!! I am trying to encourage her and talk about all the wonderful things in kindergarten, make homework fun, etc...please tell me this is normal and gets better?!?

Can you pull back on gymnastics for just a couple of weeks while she adjusts? It's unfortunate that the competition season is in full swing right now, but missing some practices and a meet or two to get her acclimated slowly so that she can continue to do both gymnastics and school might benefit her more in the long run than pushing her to finish out the competitive season, getting off on the wrong foot in school, and having to take her out of gymnastics when the season ends in October.

Can she do her homework in the car? That won't work for every kid (mine gets carsick when she reads), but it could ease the after-practice homework battles. After practice, my fifth-grader is exhausted and will take inordinate amounts of time to complete her homework poorly. If she gets it done before practice, it's a piece of cake.

School must start relatively late in the morning if she doesn't get out until 3:45. Can she do her homework before school when she is feeling freshest, even if this means an earlier bedtime and an earlier wake-up time?

 

[flipnastic]

Full day kindergarten is a big adjustment for at least 75% of the kids I see in my practice. Add gym to that and I would expect a tired, overwhelmed kiddo for several months at least. However, it is sadly (and without any data that shows better long term educational outcomes) the norm these days.

Most kids do adjust, esp if their down time is otherwise protected (as in outside to play or inside coloring, playing make believe etc - not screens). Also, most gym coaches are well aware of the adjustments the kids go through - all the high school kids are extremely tired now on the third week of school over here!

What is her homework and can it be done on the weekend (talk to the teacher)? Can she be picked up early once or twice a week to get some down time? (you'd be surprised how often this is just fine - it has NO educational impact, and even once a week going for frozen yogurt and running around on the grass after school makes a big difference. Sometimes the school may initially make a stink about it, but if a parent insists and the request is reasonable, they rarely argue - they have much bigger truancy fish to fry....)

Also, most kindergarten teachers do still include free play in their stations - with kitchen stations that could have math ("buying things") but where kids can also just play without doing the math. I know because I ask every kid what they like best in school - no one says "math and reading and sitting in my desk writing" at age 5 - they love recess, lunch and free play/make believe station! ) Unless the teacher is brand new and really doesn't understand how 5 year olds learn, I would bet things will settle out and she'll start to enjoy school more as she adjusts.

Lastly, if she is young for her grade that can be a struggle as well - more so for boys, but for some girls as well - so I'd expect it to take more time.

The most important thing about kindergarten is that she should come out of it liking school and liking to learn...THAT does have research to support its importance in long term educational outcomes! At age 5 gym should also be fun and most kids (even in pre-team or Level 2, etc) are usually only going 2-3 times a week...for a couple hours. If she's trying to do more than that I'd question the intensity at this age...extracurricular activities at age 5 are not supposed to be so stressful they impact a kid's happiness...time for that later!

I love and agree with so much of what you said. She's going to gymnastics 3 days 1 1/2 hours at a time. Down time at home is spent playing for sure. We have goats that she loves to play with, helps daddy "work, etc. we are a very active family, so I know in the long run that will help. Maybe I should talk to her coach? Although the other kids haven't seemed to have nearly the listening problems as her...they are mostly in first grade and their parents have said they have minimal homework. I need to talk to
The teacher. ..

 

[mommyof1]

and just out of curiosity, here I'm sure that homework cannot be made compulsory. What would happen if you said she just isn't doing it ? Even at year 8 now I have told Pink's teachers when they have set useless project work ( really, build a 3D model of a settlement near a river, nope, she will draw a diagram but that is it) that we don't have the time.

If I tried that, my kid would get a zero on the assignment! Our school district's official policy is 10 minutes per grade per day, so 5th-graders are supposed to get 50 minutes of homework each night. This is presented more as a requirement than a maximum. Fortunately, most of Tinker Bell's teachers have ignored the requirement and assigned reasonable amounts of work.

 

[Iwannabemargo]

If I tried that, my kid would get a zero on the assignment! Our school district's official policy is 10 minutes per grade per day, so 5th-graders are supposed to get 50 minutes of homework each night.

TWONKS !!!

Fortunately, most of Tinker Bell's teachers have ignored the requirement and assigned reasonable amounts of work..

Sensible

 

[Seeker]

I would kindly and matter-of-factly tell the teacher your daughter will do 10-mins of homework a day and turn in whatever is completed. It is not age-appropriate for a 5-yr old to attend a 6+ hour school day and then be required to complete additional homework. She will not benefit by that -- it will make her hate school.

 

[CuriousCate]

Our DD did level 2 in kindergarten last year and there was a lot of crying the first 4-6 weeks and then she adjusted. That said, I talked to the teachers about her homework and it turns out that it was not mandatory, but suggested reinforcement for the day's work that could be done at any time or not at all. "Real" homework in kindergarten is ridiculous, but perhaps a bit out of your control. Definitely check in on what they really are requiring. My personal advice (just my personal opinion, so I hope no one bashes me for it) don't mention that she is tired because of gymnastics. Just say that she is struggling to maintain her needed level of activity and play outside of school and the nightly 30 minutes of homework. When I mentioned gym to my DD's K teachers, they seemed to hold it against us (indirectly) and use it as a scapegoat any time she was tired or a crank-pants.

All this said, our DD is now 1st grade and had no problems with the adjustment to the increase in training (10 hours a week) so take hope - the adjustment seems to get easier!

 

[gymdog]

30 minutes of homework every night in kindergarten? I would ask them if she is behind in any areas and if not, that she can't do it. Unless they are behind in kindergarten, the homework is pointless and it's because the parents ask for it (trust me, I know a lot of teachers who have tried not giving homework only to have parents literally beg for it). They may well tell you it's fine.

Also frog jumps for not listening for 5 year old level 2s? Just when I think I'm being too strict for asking my kids to not literally yell in practice...what are these people thinking? Thats absurd. I am mad.

 

[flipnastic]

Also frog jumps for not listening for 5 year old level 2s? Just when I think I'm being too strict for asking my kids to not literally yell in practice...what are these people thinking? Thats absurd. I am mad.

I'm really glad..relieved, actually, that you mentioned this. I felt really weird watching her do frog jumps 5-6 times, and climb the rope 2 times. At first I though it was to make up for missed conditioning since they do that in the 30 min my daughter misses from being late for school, but her coach said it was fir not listening. I didn't see her acting out or not paying attention, so I was confused while watching, and the coach told me after that she was having listening issues. But really, i felt like she was being singled out, as she was bawling her eyes out, missed a lot of vault turns for rope climbing, And it just seemed...odd. I just don't want to the "that mom" when it seems the other 4 girls are handling things fine. Is my daughter REALLY the only one who doesn't listen? I think I may have seen one other girl do frog jumps since we've been here...

 

[gymisforeveryone]

Oh my god, that's insane! Why is it even called kindergarten if it's basically school? Why are the adults doing this to little kids? 5 year olds are just babies! They should eat, sleep and play play play, explore the world, be active, run and climb and be silly. They are only children once!

Finland is one of the best in the world in education and math, science and reading results and NONE of the 5 year olds here goes to school. School starts in the year they turn 7. They have 19 hours a week of school so basically 3-4 hours a day. No home work except maybe 5-10 minutes of reading or writing letters or coloring or something else fun. And they still play in the school a lot. The first year is mostly playing. They are not expected to read until maybe 2nd grade. And the kids here still do amazingly well compared to the countries that put kids to the school at 5. I wish that other countries would understand that less is sometimes more.

 

[flipnastic]

Oh my god, that's insane! Why is it even called kindergarten if it's basically school? Why are the adults doing this to little kids? 5 year olds are just babies! They should eat, sleep and play play play, explore the world, be active, run and climb and be silly. They are only children once!

Finland is one of the best in the world in education and math, science and reading results and NONE of the 5 year olds here goes to school. School starts in the year they turn 7. They have 19 hours a week of school so basically 3-4 hours a day. No home work except maybe 5-10 minutes of reading or writing letters or coloring or something else fun. And they still play in the school a lot. The first year is mostly playing. They are not expected to read until maybe 2nd grade. And the kids here still do amazingly well compared to the countries that put kids to the school at 5. I wish that other countries would understand that less is sometimes more.

This is similar to the homeschool model here it seems, which I'm seriously considering at this point...or maybe we'll just move to Finland!!