Parents Leg Conditioning Makes My DD Cry, What Can I Do?

[gymbini]

My DD just turned 9 and she, like a lot of gymnasts, is very petite for her age. I just found out that she is probably going to have to repeat level 3 again ( that will make 3 years of training level 3/old level 4 and her second year competing it). This is because she does not have the body strength to do the level 4 skills. Her coach tells me that she has the body shaping and technique of some optional level skills, so she has the potential. However, she is simply not strong enough and therefore, she needs to amp up her conditioning, especially arm and leg conditioning. My DD bravely works through multiple ropes, chin-ups on the high bar and other arm conditioning. But when she has to do the leg conditioning, she breaks down crying and has all but given up making any major effort to get better. I don't know how to help her get through it, and unless she improves, I'm not sure if she is going to move forward with the sport after the next season, and that would be a shame. She has been doing it for several years and it is still her favorite activity. Any suggestions?

 

[Iwannabemargo]

I gave my son the ultimatum - condition or quit as he was slacking off - he quit and is now a very skilled rugby player. Conditioning is a very big part of gymnastics, if she doesn't want to do it enough then there is nothing you can do.

 

[MILgymFAM]

I have no advice, but I feel your pain. My DDs lack of core strength has kept her from joining team- she just does not have the strength even though her legs are crazy strong and her arms adequately strong. She tries her best, and does extra conditioning at home, but she just cries and cries. I would never push something like that, but she has an enter all fire about it. Could there possibly be a physical reason for the tears? If there isn't, I would give her the option of stepping back if it's just too much for her, and simply support her of she wants to struggle through it.

 

[gymbini]

Thank you for your words of wisdom. She works through her core and arm conditioning in a decent manner. (So sorry your DD is struggling with her core conditioning. There's always something.) It's her legs. I was actually thinking of having her learn to ice skate. It must be the Canadian in me, but for some reason, ice skating really builds up your leg and thigh muscles. It must be the need to constantly balance yourself. Right now, my DD thinks skating is a lot of fun, but we aren't consistent with it. However, that doesn't solve the problem of giving up in the gym when something becomes too difficult or overwhelming. In fact, life can become overwhelming, and I want her to learn how to cope.

 

[juststartingout]

Have her ride her bike.....a lot.

 

[Sasha]

I really feel for your DD. I eventually decided to pull my DS (9 at the time) out because he would also cry at times over conditioning. I felt torn between trying to encourage him, and feeling like I was a tyrant torturer. But his was more general disdain for conditioning - not a problem with a specific body area (he hated all strength training, though liked the running).

I'm curious what leg conditioning they are having your DD doing? Wall sits? Using bands? Weight machines? How does she do with just running? Does she cry with all kinds of leg work or specific muscle groups (like calves or hamstrings...?).

It just sounds like maybe she needs a different set of leg exercise progressions than perhaps other girls on the team. I feel like there should be a solution here of specific exercises that would help her build up to doing the ones asked of her in class.

I have another (younger) son who could NOT do even ONE regular sit up (low muscle tone issues). If he had to start out in a class with V-ups, he would have cried and failed. But, through, PT at home, he did progressions of holding different positions, doing different variations of sit ups on an assisted incline, etc, little by little, and now he is well caught up.

 

[momto2js]

Swimming has really helped DS. He swam on a summer swim team last year and by he end of the summer he was so much closer in strength to his older teammates.

I'm sure that the coaching helped some but I'm not convinced that he wouldn't have seen the same gains by splashing around a few hours.

The best part is that he doesn't know it is conditioning. No extra core work, no pull ups, no extra squats. If it is legs, a kick board and some rubber duckies to chase should work nicely.

 

[SurpriseGymMom]

Sorry she is having a hard time with it!!
I do feel for both of you, it's not fun to have a hard time in gym.
My dd struggles with strength/conditioning as well, but for her it's the upper body/core. I'm not concerned in any way that there is a physical problem, just something she struggles with and doesn't like because it is very hard for her. She's built more compact than the ideal gymnast (not heavy at all, just not super skinny/strong).
To "help" her I sometimes point out specific tricks she would like to learn someday and explain exactly how much core or upper body strength the move will require, more than what she now. She knows it's a must for her to do it, but she definitely does NOT like it. There will likely come a time in a few years where she will have to repeat or stall completely because of bars unless she amps up her strength drastically (no, she is not aware of this at all yet, I would certainly not tell her at this point).
To be fair, my dd may actually cry during some especially grueling conditioning pass BUT she won't whine about it neither to her coaches nor to me.
She's 9, currently a L4 and we are hoping she will compete L5 next year.

If it were my dd, I would calmly discuss it with her (again?), and let her know how necessary it is. Point to specific tricks with lots of leg power involved. Make sure there isn't an actual physical reason why it's more difficult for her than other girls.... And then tell her to suck it up and do it if she wants to progress. I know it may not be a popular opinion but in lots of sports, this being one of them, there's a certain amount of "suck it up buttercup" involved. I tell it to my gymmie when her muscles are sore or she has rips. I tell it to my ballerina when her feet are blistered and bruised. If there is no injury, "just" normal soreness from the activity they have chosen. They both have the tools to help themselves and I will gladly help, but I won't listen to whining about it if it's a normal part of their passion. Sorry, off on a tangent there, could be because gymmie has been a little whiny about her hands as they are working lots of BHS on beam...

As far as "sneaky" leg conditioning, ice skating and roller skating is great. Go for runs and bike rides together. Legs seem to me that they would probably be one of the easier ones to incorporate into fun activities that she wouldn't even realize is targeted towards her getting stronger... Best of luck!!!

 

[BlairBob]

" I know it may not be a popular opinion but in lots of sports, this being one of them, there's a certain amount of "suck it up buttercup" involved. "

^^^ This too.

 

[gymboymom]

I would find another way to sneak it in as well. Running, biking, ice skating, swimming. All great suggestions. What about you doing some leg continuing at home together? Make a chart and put small increasing numbers of each thing (make them different things than she does at the gym). Tell her you need her to help you get in shape? My kids love to be the teacher and the leader. This is a hard one. Ds needs to do more core conditioning. He used to cry at the gym but he did get through it.

 

[krisnkids]

I really wonder how my retired gymmy's coach did it. She got a group of girls when they were 6-7 years old and trained them together. They LOVED conditioning, I mean to the point of when they would have play dates outside of the gym they would make a conditioning list and do it. They did everything from killers (knee drops while walking across the floor) to V-holds (holding themselves up in the "V" position to eventually press handstands.

Looking back I think because the coach started the group together she was able to slowly build them up so it wasn't a shock on their systems to do the heavy conditioning that they would do. My dd at 7 years old could hold a V hold for 2 minutes, longer than anyone in the gym.