Parents Should non competing injured teammate be excluded/included from victory celebration?

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I was just looking for other people's opinions. Do you think an injured teammated should be invited to a celebration for a victory that she did not contribute to because she was injured at the time? Should it be up to the girls who did compete?
 
Yes, even injured teammates should be included in celebrations of team successes, IMO. A team is a team, no matter what. I am also wondering if something else is going on here?
 
I also agree. A teammate is part of the team injured or not. As part of a team they all contribute whether on the sidelines cheering or in the gym giving encouragement. Competition and victories are a very small part of the entire sport.
 
Definitely included. I know my daughter would want to be included if she was injured and also would want an injured teammate to be included. They are still a team. :)
 
It's a TEAM and they should do everything together so of course the injured Team mate should be included. ALL team mates should be included no matter what. I can't even think of an exception that a team member would even be excluded.
 
Thank you for your replies. Of course, I felt that was correct, but wanted to make sure I was not just being an overprotective parent. I am not sure what is going on. My daughter and her teammate were injured and unable to attend this meet. The girls were told if they did well they would have a little party when they got back. The coach told the injured girls to be sure to cheer them on because they would be part of the party, too. Well, today coach stood by as the girls told my dd that they had decided not to include them since they did not contribute at the competition. One girl started to deliver the news, but could not get herself to say it, so another finished. She said something like she knows that if she did not compete she would be embarrassed to enjoy the reward so they are saving them from this by saying they are not invited.
My dd believes the coach just simply does not believe they are injured. There are no casts, no braces or anything visible. Both girls have back injuries. (Mine has had two sets of x-rays, a bone scan and MRI and is about to have another MRI next week. This injury was from a very hard fall she took when ice-skating this summer. She has been through PT, seemed to be better, but is now hurting again. Her orthopedic surgeon believes there is a problem and has talked about putting her in a brace.)
The owner is a great guy. He really makes each girl feel important and is very positive. I do not believe he would condone this, but I think he is in the dark. I am trying to figure out how to bring this up with him.
 
My daughter would be hurt and hearbroken if her teammates told her this. And I would be in shock that a coach encouraged this behavior. So sorry for your daughter and her teammate. What a way to break down the team spirit. :( I would definitely bring it up with the owner. Not sure I would want my daughter to be part of a team with such selfish teammates. :(

My daughter has a few girls on her team that are not competing for one reason or another (not injuries). She is 8 years old. I just asked her what her opinion was and gave her an example of her L5 team and the same scenario, asking her if she thought those girls should be included in a party for the L5 team if they did really well at a meet and were celebrating. She said "Well I would want them to be there because even if they didn't compete, they are still part of the team." I love my kid. :)
 
If the coach said they would be part of this then why are the girls making the decisions and announcements here? Is coach too chicken to say she changed her mind and put the girls up to this?? I would just call the owner and explain just what you said here about the coach saying they would be included and see what they say.
 
Thank you for your replies. Of course, I felt that was correct, but wanted to make sure I was not just being an overprotective parent. I am not sure what is going on. My daughter and her teammate were injured and unable to attend this meet. The girls were told if they did well they would have a little party when they got back. The coach told the injured girls to be sure to cheer them on because they would be part of the party, too. Well, today coach stood by as the girls told my dd that they had decided not to include them since they did not contribute at the competition. One girl started to deliver the news, but could not get herself to say it, so another finished. She said something like she knows that if she did not compete she would be embarrassed to enjoy the reward so they are saving them from this by saying they are not invited.
My dd believes the coach just simply does not believe they are injured. There are no casts, no braces or anything visible. Both girls have back injuries. (Mine has had two sets of x-rays, a bone scan and MRI and is about to have another MRI next week. This injury was from a very hard fall she took when ice-skating this summer. She has been through PT, seemed to be better, but is now hurting again. Her orthopedic surgeon believes there is a problem and has talked about putting her in a brace.)
The owner is a great guy. He really makes each girl feel important and is very positive. I do not believe he would condone this, but I think he is in the dark. I am trying to figure out how to bring this up with him.

Little Girls can be MEAN!!!! I always say TEAM= Together Everyone Achieves More!!! I am not sure if the coach actually had the girls say that or some of the girls just decided that!They are not always Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice!!!!And If your coach has quite a bit of experience which I assume she/he does I promise she knows injuries are not always visible and do not always require external fixtures!
 
If the coach said they would be part of this then why are the girls making the decisions and announcements here? Is coach too chicken to say she changed her mind and put the girls up to this?? I would just call the owner and explain just what you said here about the coach saying they would be included and see what they say.
Unfortunately, it does seems like she is too chicken and wanted the girls deliver the message. On Monday, DD asked coach how the girls did at the meet. Coach told DD that it was not her place to tell her, that she would have to wait and hear it from the girls. DD says coach stood by, in definite earshot, as team delivered the news.
 
I'm with the others. This is really unacceptable behavior. If the girls were put up to this by the coach, this person should be ashamed of herself. There's a girl on my daughter's team who is having health problems and can't compete at the last meet this weekend. The meet is close to home and I know each and every girl on the team has asked if she would still come so they could all celebrate together afterwards. If the coach has an issue re: the severity of your child's injury that should be between the coach and you. Passive aggressive people just annoy me and it sounds like that's what this coach is. Good luck and I am so sorry your girl is having to deal with this on top of her injury.
 
Your daughter is part of this TEAM, she should definitely be included. I am so appalled that a coach would encourage this type of mean behavior!!! The fact that a girl is injured should have no bearing at all on whether or not she is included in team activities. If you really wanted to nit pick, I guess you could tell the coach that actually only the top 3 girls scores counted towards the team award, so only those girls should be invited to the party anyway!!! .... just kidding..... Seriously tho, I think I'd have to seriously think about the influence this type of coach is having on my daughter... maybe checking out the philosophy of another gym is called for.
 
I feel this is totaly unexceptable. And should definitley be dealt with. Its kind of a catch 22 here. Your DD should NOT be treated that way. A team is a team and should remain a team through good and bad. And if she is being treated that way the problem should be rectified..but then on the other hand..how is she going to feel or be treated at this party if she ends up going after they made it clear they didnt feel she deserved to be there. Are they going to make it worse on her. Very hard place to be. I would definitley say something, but Im not sure I would send her to the party. Sounds like Im talking out of both sides of my mouth huh? Im sorry you DD is going through this. Poor baby.
 
wow that is def not teaching kids about being a TEAM!! I would def talk to the owner, for one I bet some of the girls at least sound like they were not cool with this but went along with the coach!
I would not want my daughter a part of a team that ecludeds!

also I would think the other girls would want her there so she could help congratualte them!!
 
I feel this is totaly unexceptable. And should definitley be dealt with. Its kind of a catch 22 here. Your DD should NOT be treated that way. A team is a team and should remain a team through good and bad. And if she is being treated that way the problem should be rectified..but then on the other hand..how is she going to feel or be treated at this party if she ends up going after they made it clear they didnt feel she deserved to be there. Are they going to make it worse on her. Very hard place to be. I would definitley say something, but Im not sure I would send her to the party. Sounds like Im talking out of both sides of my mouth huh? Im sorry you DD is going through this. Poor baby.

This is a great point, my daughter would feel like she wasn't really wanted there. Sadly, since the coach is involved it sounds like these girls are just getting encouragement for the "mean gir" mentality. BUT, if I was the owner, I think that I would say that no one should celebrate with the attitude they are displaying because they obviously have no clue what a team is. I think parents need to be involved in this as well as some would also tend to agree that only the girls that went should be involved. Some "teaching" should be going on to make sure everyone understands what a TEAM is. Maybe use something like Gymster posted below, have a parent meeting to discuss it and also a meeting with the girls.

Little Girls can be MEAN!!!! I always say TEAM= Together Everyone Achieves More!!! I am not sure if the coach actually had the girls say that or some of the girls just decided that!They are not always Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice!!!!And If your coach has quite a bit of experience which I assume she/he does I promise she knows injuries are not always visible and do not always require external fixtures!

Love the TEAM thing, great!!

Your daughter is part of this TEAM, she should definitely be included. I am so appalled that a coach would encourage this type of mean behavior!!! The fact that a girl is injured should have no bearing at all on whether or not she is included in team activities. If you really wanted to nit pick, I guess you could tell the coach that actually only the top 3 girls scores counted towards the team award, so only those girls should be invited to the party anyway!!! .... just kidding..... Seriously tho, I think I'd have to seriously think about the influence this type of coach is having on my daughter... maybe checking out the philosophy of another gym is called for.

If it was a big "team" (saying that lightly here, because they obviously aren't a team) and they had won a team placement, than that would be a perfect thing to maybe show these girls how wrong they are and give them something to think about. Tell them that since it has been decided that the teammates that weren't there aren't included, that to "be fair" and "make sure they don't feel embarrassed for being there" the girls who did NOT contribute a score to the team award will not be invited to the party either. I bet that would help the girls to see just how wrong they are.
 
Unbelievable. I am shocked. Your gym should be glad I am not a parent there because the whole place would have gone up in the flames of my anger as soon as I found out. :mad: At this point, if the celebration has not occurred, then it should not occur. Every girl on that team, and the coach, should be reprimanded.

I would say that they should apologize to the 2 girls, but I hate forced apologies. However, if one of the celebrating girls were mine, she would be giving an oral and a written apology to both girls - as well as being punished by me.

Go to the owner asap.
 
This was not a team award. These are only the optional girls and 3 girls are on one level and 1 girl is on another. The agreement was that they could have an ice cream party if two girls stuck their beam routine (these girls are all weak on beam) and two girls had to score at least a nine. Well, they did that and the average AA score for the girls increased by 6/10th from the last meet. Since they improved so much the party was bumped up to the pizza party. I am not sure if all four girls met the requirements or not.

My DD is not only hurt, but she also feels she had something to do with their scores. She is new to this gym. She was in a really high scoring gym. She was taught the details really well, and sees simple mistakes the girls are making. Since they could not do beam, the coach let them be “judges” with her in the gym. My DD scored the girls lower than the coach. When asked to explain, she showed each girl where they were getting the deductions. She says they do things like tap their foot several time before doing a back walkover and did not know to get back up and try the back walkover again if their feet completely missed to beam. She has always wanted to help her team, but knew better than step on the coaches toes. She jumped at the chance to explain things with the coach’s blessing. (Looking back, maybe the coach did not know what she was allowing by challenging my DD’s scores.)

I will be talking to the owner today. I just wanted to make sure I was not being an unreasonable meddling gym mom before I went to him with this. Like I said, he is an amazing person. He really wants the best for the girls. He is an extremely positive coach. My DD left her former gym completely beat down and burned out, and he has made amazing progress with her. The problem is that he really respects this coach and thinks she is doing a great job. She is careful around him and does not say ugly things around him. I half suspect that she had the girls break the news to my DD so that she could claim it was them and not her if asked by owner.
 

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