Slapping and mockery from a coach?

[jenniffir]

I was wondering if any parents or gymnasts had encounter a "not so nice" coach, and what did you do about this? Just flat out switched or is this just an overeaction?

Anyway, the story begins as it always does; with a coach and gymnast. Lets call the gymnast lilly and the coach paul.

Lilly takes a turn on bars working on a windmill, as she supports herself on the bar ready to circle her front leg is bent, coach paul calls to her and tells her to straighten her leg, she takes the turn but her leg is still not straight. Paul yells at her and tells her to get up on the bar and try again but not make it look "like trash." Lilly supports herself but her leg is slightly bent, at this point coach paul is furious and slaps her on the leg continuously until she straightens it. In the process of this endeavor coach paul has called her countless names and mocked her. With a successfully straight leg support and reddened leg, lilly continues on. Practice starts to flow again and coach paul demands all the lv 4s to show a rutine, all the while he mocks them on falls, critisizes their lack of strength, and summarizes their failure with a stout "you'de be lucky to get a 5, if the judges were nice." Any views?

These actions where not a one time event and happen everyday on every event that the gymnasts are with him, when it comes to fear its nothing but a court "get over it" preceded by mockery of course. My question is what would you as parents do, if anything? Also if any coaches happen upon this; how do you deal with fear, and what would you change about coach pauls behavior?

Thanks for reading if you did

 

[lilgymmie7]

I was wondering if any parents or gymnasts had encounter a "not so nice" coach, and what did you do about this? Just flat out switched or is this just an overeaction?Anyway, the story begins as it always does; with a coach and gymnast. Lets call the gymnast lilly and the coach paul. Lilly takes a turn on bars working on a windmill, as she supports herself on the bar ready to circle her front leg is bent, coach paul calls to her and tells her to straighten her leg, she takes the turn but her leg is still not straight. Paul yells at her and tells her to get up on the bar and try again but not make it look "like trash." Lilly supports herself but her leg is slightly bent, at this point coach paul is furious and slaps her on the leg continuously until she straightens it. In the process of this endeavor coach paul has called her countless names and mocked her. With a successfully straight leg support and reddened leg, lilly continues on. Practice starts to flow again and coach paul demands all the lv 4s to show a rutine, all the while he mocks them on falls, critisizes their lack of strength, and summarizes their failure with a stout "you'de be lucky to get a 5, if the judges were nice." Any views?These actions where not a one time event and happen everyday on every event that the gymnasts are with him, when it comes to fear its nothing but a court "get over it" preceded by mockery of course. My question is what would you as parents do, if anything? Also if any coaches happen upon this; how do you deal with fear, and what would you change about coach pauls behavior? Thanks for reading if you did

DD would never have to face that...I would pull her at first sign of abuse! I don't verbally ridicule nor hit my own children. I would certainly NEVER EVER PAY for anyone to abuse them. BTW I would alsi discuss the situation with who ever oversees this idiot!

 

[jenniffir]

DD would never have to face that...I would pull her at first sign of abuse! I don't verbally ridicule nor hit my own children. I would certainly NEVER EVER PAY for anyone to abuse them. BTW I would alsi discuss the situation with who ever oversees this idiot!

He is the owner of the gym

 

[Deleted member D3987]

c'mon...if it looks like dog****... it smells like dog****...you're really not going to taste it are you? get outta there!

 

[Gymnasticlover78]

If my coach was like that to me I would try to tell her not to be so mean and if that didn't work I would ask my mom to talk to her for me. My mom would probably pull me out of there before any of that could happen but that is really not ok at all to say to anyone.

 

[CoachTodd]

Unfortunately, there are quite a few coaches out there like that. They basically try to beat the kids into doing things the way they want them to. The sad part about it is that many of these coaches are so manipulative, the kid ends up believing they actually need that coach to do well. I'd say stay away from that kind of coach before it has an effect on the child's spirit.

 

[Aussie_coach]

Would leave immediately and never return.

 

[gymmomof1]

Not ok. Time to switch gyms. The sport is difficult enough without a balanced coach for support and guidance it's almost impossible. Wish you well as you search for a better gym.

 

[JessMom]

Gonna jump in here with much of the same - time to leave

I've seen a lot of these kinds of coaches and often wonder why the parents tolerate it. I've learned that some parents will tolerate anything for the end results not realizing that eventually the kids reach a breaking point and quit

 

[lilgymmie7]

Unfortunately, there are quite a few coaches out there like that. They basically try to beat the kids into doing things the way they want them to. The sad part about it is that many of these coaches are so manipulative, the kid ends up believing they actually need that coach to do well. I'd say stay away from that kind of coach before it has an effect on the child's spirit.

That was my oldest DD's story. I wasn't aware if it at first, but then I too felt prey thinking that was a motivator, now- NO WAY! Oldest DD has always had a softer exterior and even softer interior. Those coaches ultimately broke her! There is no way, knowing what I know now that either my little DD or DS would ever be in that kind of environment. You asked what could come of it...only negative. The ones left to carry that burden are the kids. Gymnasts begin to trust there coaches far more than there own parents. These gymnasts you describe will learn to think that treatment like that is the norm, at the gym and worst in a relationship. You said he is the owner...RUN! AND report him. Dunno, does that work? I don't know but that is what I did with older DD. Now I am twice as vigilant with my children. Coaches like you describe ruim the psyche of ANY child. That is the long term effect. RUN FAST AND TAKE OTHERS WITH YOU IF YOU CAN! I could care less what that looks or sounds like!!

 

[bogwoppit]

Leave. He is a child abuser. You know you wouldn't do this to someone's kid, so why is it okay for him to hit your kid.

By keeping her there you are telling her that "mommy thinks it is okay for this man to hit you". Great message for your daughter.

 

[CoachGoofy]

Absolutely unacceptable. Don't hit. Didn't most people learn that in preschool?!

 

[gym law mom]

I have to agree with everyone else. Leave and do it now. My gymmie was at one of those "elite" gyms and the verbal abuse was incredible. Coach would sit across the gym yelling at the girls while they were on beams trying to do the dreaded bhs-bhs. He used all kinds of names--loser, whimp, baby etc. Said being mean helped get them over their fears. As far as I know she was never physically abused, but the verbal and psychological abuse took its toll. Even after being out of there for a few years, she'll have dasy when she doubts herself and says she can hear this coach's voice playing in her head.

I'll go back to a question I've put up before. Would you tolerate a teacher at school doing this so your dd would learn??? Heck no. So don't give this coach any slack.

 

[NOG]

c'mon...if it looks like dog****... it smells like dog****...you're really not going to taste it are you? get outta there!

bahahahaha......as always Dunno - very well said!!! That is a priceless way to put it , I'll won't be forgetting that one anytime soon!

 

[GetaGrip]

I had a coach like this once, and to be honest, I hated him. The relationship between a coach and a gymnast should be a good one. After all, once they become an optional they will be spending endless hours a week with them. Sometimes coaches can get frustrated with their gymnasts, but it is never okay to mock or slap them. I left that gym years ago and I never looked back. Sometimes being threatened can help a gymnast improve, but it is always short lived. Eventually, the gymnast will burn out and want to quit. Doing well in a sport out of fear is not the way to go. I would leave that gym, and fast.

 

[shelovestoflip]

I would pull my daughter out NOW!!

And I would report the coach. If it was happening in a public school, the teacher (or coach) would be put on leave and the situation would be investigated. You are paying them money!! You and your daughter deserve better (as do all her teammates!)

I hope you have many great gym choices in your area!

 

[AGM78910]

The other posters said it best. I pulled my daughter out of a similar situation and it was the gym owner also. Leave and take as many with you as you can.

I know of a gym where this kind of abuse goes on and the children are told not to tattle to their parents about anything that goes on in the gym. If a child does tell their parents, the coach retaliates by punishing the child with extra "conditioning". The kids soon learn not to tattle. And the coach is an incredibly charming person who says the kids are lying.

Parents, you should be vigilant and asking questions, especially if the practices are not held in full view of the parents.

 

[jenniffir]

I am not able to leave this gym unless i wish to quit the sport, that fact has been spelled out for me more times than i can count :/ He, as a coach, is a very manipulative person and would teach a high level extremely dangerous skill to a girl completely unprepared for it just to shove the fact that they would do it in another, higher level, girls face.

What is also difficult, he is a very unpredictable person. He can go from kidding around, to being completely serious and furious, no one says anything about being slapped on the leg or called a "tard head" or mocked due to fear because you cant tell if he is "playing around" or serious.

P.S. I dont want to quit, but every time i see this or he mocks my fear i want to run, call my mom, and just leave.

 

[CoachGoofy]

ABUSIVE SITUATION IS ABUSIVE.
Run, do not walk, run for the door. Like you're getting ready to vault, but faster. Nothing you are describing is even "grey area"; it is unequivically unacceptable.

Have you told your parents about this behavior? Or reported it to The Powers That Be?

If there are other gyms in the area, this coach isn't going to stop them accepting you.

 

[jenniffir]

ABUSIVE SITUATION IS ABUSIVE.
Run, do not walk, run for the door. Like you're getting ready to vault, but faster. Nothing you are describing is even "grey area"; it is unequivically unacceptable.

Have you told your parents about this behavior? Or reported it to The Powers That Be?

If there are other gyms in the area, this coach isn't going to stop them accepting you.

I live in Texas which is a gold mine of gyms, but ive tried to ask my mom about switching before and it just ends with her telling me its this gym or nothing. We just got new competition leos and i feel like if i brought up switching now it would just revert to that, in addition because of the issue with this coach my vaults have completely stopped and beside the occasional yelling and mockery he doesnt do anything to help with the fear, i cant tumble to save my life and he wont spot me because he is busy with his favorites, this is also seen on bars. Things just began deteriorating, and when he saw that i wasnt worth the time to coach he forgot about me (besides the ocasional "JUST DO IT CHICKEN! Gosh just do it for once!), suposedly i could be doing a lot and have the ability to do so (or so im told by my ex coach who is also a gymnast working out there and the other coach who coaches dance, and beam) i just dont have the confidece. Besides, if i went to tryout a gym i wouldnt be able to do anything, I mean im trying to go level 7 but who would take a gymnast who couldnt vault or tumble who thinks she could be a lv 7?