WAG Suspicion that a kid has disabilities, help!

[SweetSecrets15]

So I teach beginner rec classes and I had this new little 7 year old girl join my class about a month ago. It's been a month and this girl still has 0 skills achieved, she literally can't even walk across a floor beam. She doesn't listen to a word I say. I literally have to hold her hold and move her limbs to get her to do whatever I'm asking. But it's not fair to my other students because I can't pay them ANY attention. If the little girl is left without me glued to her side she just rolls around on the floor. She can't remember any of the basic terminology and always cries hysterically on bars. I feel like her mother knows something is up (but not communicating with me) because she always asks questions like "How was her balance today? How was her listening?" However last Sunday her mother actually was upset with me for not giving her daughter ENOUGH attention. She said every time I leave her child alone she doesn't do anything and just rolls around (which is true) so if I could pay her more attention. I think this is completely unfair to my class as a whole, she's sucking all my focus, and it's just disrupting the class.

What should I do? Should I ask if the child has a problem, alert my supervisor, or find ways to work with the child. I have nothing against the child having a disability but if she does then she needs to be in a different class that is better equipped for her needs.

Also I've only been coaching for a few months now so this is all new to me! Any advice is greatly appreciated.

 

[skschlag]

Having a child with special needs, I often did not tell people in classes. I know it can be frowned upon, but I found that the few times I did, he was treated differently immediately.

I liked when people would come to me with a specific problem, and ask me what works at home for that situation. So maybe, "She seems to have a hard time when I am working with another student. Do you have a suggestion for what might help with that?" Or, "what kinds of rewards does she work for?" get the mom on your side. Get some suggestions from her.

It got so hard for me, because my son COULD do regular classes with minor adjustments. Occassionally, I had to pay for privates to help through something, but he did do fine in regular groups.

 

[SweetSecrets15]

Having a child with special needs, I often did not tell people in classes. I know it can be frowned upon, but I found that the few times I did, he was treated differently immediately.

I liked when people would come to me with a specific problem, and ask me what works at home for that situation. So maybe, "She seems to have a hard time when I am working with another student. Do you have a suggestion for what might help with that?" Or, "what kinds of rewards does she work for?" get the mom on your side. Get some suggestions from her.

It got so hard for me, because my son COULD do regular classes with minor adjustments. Occassionally, I had to pay for privates to help through something, but he did do fine in regular groups.

That's a great idea, asking the mom for some tips. The last thing I want her to do is feel bad or feel as if I'm throwing her kid out of my class. I want to be able to work the with the kid, I just need a different approach I guess. To some degree I already treat her differently then the rest of the class simply because she doesn't understand most things. Usually I give the class a task and then I go to the child and walk her through everything.

 

[momnipotent]

The idea above is a good one, but I would suggest also telling your supervisor about your concerns and asking them to observe the class if possible and offer suggestions as well. That way, they know what is going on and can talk to the mom if necessary. In addition, if the mom complains about you not giving their child enough attention, they have seen first hand what is going on in class and won't need to come to you to ask what is going on. Finally, as the mom to one child with learning disabilities and one with ADHD, I get that certain kids need extra attention and would be sympathetic to a point with the amount of time and attention this child needs, but coming from the perspective of other parents in the class-they pay the same amount for class as the other mom and their children deserve your attention too, which they are not getting if you are having to spend so much time with this little girl. At least if your supervisor is aware of the issue, they can be prepared for the fact that other parents might also complain.

 

[gymdog]

You need to talk to a supervisor about the process for this at your gym. The situation as described is not safe and needs to be documented.

 

[my4buffaloes]

Go to your supervisor and let them handle it. The would do better in a 1 on 1 situation.

 

[skschlag]

The kid has been in 3-4 classes with a coach that has only been coaching for a few months. I think having someone watch is a great idea, but to boot her out of the class already seems premature.

 

[ZJsMom]

I agree with the advice above. Talk to your supervisor. There should be gym policies for dealing with this. To me, the questions isn't "does she, or doesn't she have a diagnosed disability," but rather "can she be accommodated in this class, or does she need something else."

 

[skschlag]

I agree with the advice above. Talk to your supervisor. There should be gym policies for dealing with this. To me, the questions isn't "does she, or doesn't she have a diagnosed disability," but rather "can she be accommodated in this class, or does she need something else."

I agree..but first you have to try some ways to accommodate her. There might be some simple things that can be done to help her. She just started....

 

[skschlag]

<full disclosure, this is close to me. My ods had trouble in all classes at this age. Young instructors, usually swimming, would go to the manager, and would automatically assume he would be out of the class. With 1-2 accommodations, he did great, and advanced quickly through the lessons. But each time he got a new teacher, it was the same thing. I couldn't afford private lessons, although that was always suggested. Same thing happened in gymnastics, swimming, art class, robotics, chess, etc. he thrived in all of them when the teacher and I worked together.>

 

[Pineapple_Lump]

It is much easier when parents inform us of any issues. We make sure that child is placed with a more experienced coach and can reduce the numbers in that coaches group so the bit of extra attention that child requires will not impact on the other children in the group. If a club/group is not willing to work and find a solution for you when you inform them of your child's differences, how do you think they are going to react when you blatantly choose not to inform them.

 

[skschlag]

It is much easier when parents inform us of any issues. We make sure that child is placed with a more experienced coach and can reduce the numbers in that coaches group so the bit of extra attention that child requires will not impact on the other children in the group. If a club/group is not willing to work and find a solution for you when you inform them of your child's differences, how do you think they are going to react when you blatantly choose not to inform them.

Theoretically I agree. However, my experience is people telling me that they won't accommodate him. And he has minor issues. From schools to scouts to sports. When I didn't say anything, but offered ideas on how to help, it worked much better. When I give a label, prejudices come thru.

I am not saying that this girl doesn't need something else, but I just think you have to try.

 

[momnipotent]

I hope my post didn't come across as me suggesting that the OP not try to keep the girl in the class...I am a supervisor of a sports program (martial arts, not gymnastics) and if one of my instructors was in this situation I would want to know so that I could see what was going on to make sure the class was safe and be ready to address all parent concerns/complaints, and as a more experienced instructor, I could offer suggestions/accommodations, put a jr. instructor/helper in the class, suggest to the parent they move to a class with a more experienced instructor, or even step in myself to teach a few classes to model how the instructor could work with the child. I have never had to tell a parent we could not accommodate their child in group classes and we have had some super challenging kids, but I think the supervisor should also have a lot of ideas and help to offer. Working with mom would be ideal, but might be challenging considering that mom already seems to think her child should get more attention, which sounds like a challenge in a situation where it seems like her child already gets a majority of the attention.

 

[sce]

You need to talk to a supervisor about the process for this at your gym. The situation as described is not safe and needs to be documented.

I totally agree with this.

The only other thing I would have done was directly addressed the Mom's concern about your lack of attention. I would have explained that it is a group class, your attention must be split by all the students and that the children must be able to work independently part of the time.

 

[sce]

I agree with the advice above. Talk to your supervisor. There should be gym policies for dealing with this. To me, the questions isn't "does she, or doesn't she have a diagnosed disability," but rather "can she be accommodated in this class, or does she need something else."

I agree with this. Do not address it on your own, ask you surpervisor for direction. One- it can be very easy to offend a parent, or overstep with assumptions about the child. Two- your supervisor may have some thoughts to help you work with the child within the class Three- it's best the supervisor is aware of the issue altogether.

 

[SurpriseGymMom]

As a coach, I definitely appreciate parents who are up front and let me know of any issues. Not telling me when you have a diagnosis is not fair to me or the other kids in the class, period. If I know ahead of time, I can properly prepare and make sure I have a back up coach available because expecting me to handle a special needs child in addition to the rest of the class is unfair.
The hard part is that you can't let on to the parent that you realize there are issues beyond what's "normal", because that's not our place. I would absolutely ask the parent if they have suggestions for things that may work for class, but I'll be honest, your description of the parent doesn't sound as if she'll be a great help. There again is where parent communication about special needs is crucial. It leaves us coaches in a really bad spot when we don't know if you as a parents are aware that there IS an issue. Trust me, I have had some doozies... I have had a child completely unable to sit on the line for any length of time, running around screaming, then biting and kicking me as I'm attempting to retrieve said child for her own safety while the parents sit on the side saying "oh honey, you should listen to your teacher...." meanwhile the other kids are sitting nicely in line watching. Not fair to me, not fair to the other kids in class and certainly not fair to the special needs kid.
In contrast, I have also had parents letting me know their child is special needs and personally coming out there to help support me with "controlling" their children while also allowing me to do my job: coach a gymnastics class.

So, OP, definitely talk to your superior about this child and ask what the protocol is. Ask for an assistant coach since this child seems unable to handle a group situation and needs more of a one-on-one teaching situation. Ask the parent about specific solutions.
As a coach, I set the (realistic) expectations for my classes and I want to work with the parents to make sure everyone in the class gets as much out of it as possible. That doesn't work if I'm spending 95%of my time on one kid.

 

[duyetanh]

You have been given some good ideas here. As an educator, many times I was not told a child had a particular challenge, and I completely understand why. I have found the best way to handle these situations are to both tell a supervisor, and talk to the parent. If I was the parent, I would be very upset if you had talked to a supervisor before me. But if you talk to the parent, and you run into a wall, then you will at least have that in your pocket, so to speak (that you made an effort). Every single parent I have talked to, when I presented their child in a positive light FIRST, has opened up to me about what challenges their child at times faces. It is not our place as coaches or educators to be intrusive or invasive of parents' privacy, but we can ask about things in a general sense, and say things like, "He/she seems to love gym, and I love how attached he/she is to me, but unfortunately I have to give the other children their needed attention to! Perhaps you can talk to your child at this time and provide the encouragement he/she needs to try things independently, like the other parents are doing!" Sometimes I think parents hope I can figure it out on my own, and they can not get involved, because they work so hard fighting for their child's rights and opportunities that it can be exhausting. Whenever there is a challenging child, it is very important to get the parent involved as soon as possible. Good luck!

 

[LucyTRA]

This is a really tough situation. It may be that the parent has concerns about the child's balance, attention, understanding or whatever, but no official diagnosis. I am a school teacher as well as a coach and I have come across children with blatant intellectual disabilities (think young child who can't count past 4 and can't recognise any letters while the other kids in the class write in paragraphs and add 3 digit numbers) whose parents simply had nothing to compare it to, and thought he was just (maybe) slightly below average achieving. They can be really clueless and often in denial too.

Does your gym offer special needs classes? If they do, it may be something to put to the mum; 'Suzie seems to be struggling with the size of the group and the amount of stuff going on in this class, but we have a class with smaller group sizes and specialist coaches for kids who struggle, so she might progress better there'

I would also advise talking to your supervisor and the parent, as suggested on earlier replies. Additionally, you can differentiate what she does and offer incentives (stickers?) for independent working. She can't walk on a floor beam and has no skills? Then she needs to get a handle on her gross motor skills. Give her side activities to do - stretch up tall on tip-toe and walk this line. Keep going til you don't wobble! Go along the line in the smallest shape you can. Could you crawl on your hands and knees or army crawl on your elbows? Can you hop along like a bunny? (Start progression for cartwheel anyway!) how long can you balance on one leg?

You could also do warm up games that involve movement of named limbs, have them run around and then call them out - shake your left leg, wave your right arm etc.

Good luck!

 

[Deleted member 14190]

She needs to be with an instructor who is trained to deal with this. In other words, tell your boss and they need to direct her to the correct facility. Not to mention this could be a safety issue.

 

[Aussie_coach]

Be aware that parents of a child with different needs can be in denial, they may not see the problems because they don't want to see the problems. It is a very emotional process to come to terms with your child being diagnosed with a disability and it can be very touchy. It may not be that they are not disclosing, it may be that they do not have a diagnosed problem.