Parents Venting

[Midget's Dad]

I know I had posted not long ago about how the head coach got fired, which stinks because she did Midget's privates and while tough she was really good and Midget loved her. But she did not coach the L3s normally so other than privates it wasn't a big impact.

Unfortunately it has been bigger than expected. Her coaching of Midget during privates was really what pushed her to excel we think. Now Midget takes privates from the owner, who is quite good, but she is not quite the in your face, do it right, keep starting over until you do type. Hate to say it but the big push is what Midget thrives under.

Also, there is an issue with the team coaches. There are a bunch of them and they all rotate through, but there is no clear head coach so the consistency is horrible. Even worse, lately it seems like none of them (one major exception but more on her in a minute) really push or even coach all that often, and when they do they do not teach the same skills the same way. And they just seem to gloss over all the little things, which happen to be where our girls all struggle.

As I said there is one exception, she used to be the head team coach and came back recently but she is more often coaching rec classes than our girls. We would love to have her, but it isn't happening.

DW, and several others, have talked to the owner but she just seems to blow it off. She doesn't see, or doesn't want to see, that there is an issue. I say we should talk to her again, possibly as a group, but DW has already stated she is farly well done and is debating pulling Midget now or waiting until after the season ends.

We love the gym and the people, and really the coaches have the talent, and for a while they did coach, and push, though the consistency has always been an issue.

Any thoughts?

 

[bogwoppit]

I know you don't want to consider this, but what other gym options are there in your area.

If this is really the only gym in town then you have to try to live with what you've got. Youc an talk to the coaches about Midgets learning style, you know just the way you have here. YOu can hope that they understand and try to work differently.

If there are other gyms I would suggest doing the rounds and try to find a gym with a more strict and disciplined approach that seems to work for your gymmie.

I really do understand how tough this is, but remember that she is still very young and therefore she will be able to adapt to changes of gym or coach.

 

[Tumblequeensmom]

Boy does this all sound familiar!!!! I definitely agree with Bog.... check out other options. I really wish I had switched Katy to a more consistent gym a few years ago, but I kept sticking it out "hoping" things would get better.... well, they never did. The gym management really is up to the owners, and if the owners don't seem to want to make those important coaching decisions, then it will probably never "change." As Bog said, your daughter is young enough that she'll have new "best friends" in a different gym probably by the end of her first practice!!

It's so true that hindsight is 20/20!!!

Good luck!

 

[pixie flips]

When Pixie was on pre-team they had that same issue with coaches being inconsistant with each other which was really confusing to some of the little girls. They had one coach that would get highly upset with the girls and gripe them out when another coach had told them to do skills a different way. Several girls even quit because of this coach. She is no longer with the gym, however.

The issue is that in our area (which is an hour outside the closest metro area) there is very little options for coaches. The rec classes are run by highschool kids. I've had issues this season when one of the rec coaches came to sub for one of the team coaches when she was sick. He had Pixie so messed up on vault telling her to do techniques she had never been taught and just confused her to bits. It was frustrating to watch especially since vault is difficult for her and has taken her this long to really score well on it and have this kid come in and jack it up in an instant.

I know your frustration. I really don't know how to advise you other than to keep open dialogue with the coach. I know you've already had meeting and feel nothing has come of it. Sometimes changes are made behind the scenes, as with the coach that is no longer with the gym, and we just do not know they are taking place. If you feel the issue really hasn't been addressed I would sit down with the owner one more time and tell them that you and your wife have not seen any change or improvement and have discussed moving Midget on to another gym because of it but would rather stay there if the issue is rectified. And see where it goes from there. I believe being 100% open and honest is the best way to handle gym problems. I see so much sneeking around between parents and coaches at our gym and I want none of it. I take issues to the source and it has worked well for me for the most part.

Sorry I don't have better advice for you. I understand your frustration and empathize with you and wanted to let you know. I hope things work out for you all. It's so frustrating when it seems like you aren't being heard. Good luck!

 

[mariposa]

Always a tough situation. Sounds much like what happened to my DD at her old gym. Started out great, then the HC left and things just never got organized or consistent. For some girls, they did fine with that, but it didn't work for her at all. It was frustrating for her and frustrating for me watching her at practice and meets. I tried talking to the owner and many other parents had as well, but nothing ever got fixed for very long.

Our decision in the end was to change gyms. We waited until her meet season was over. It was a really difficult decision and I hated leaving because I really loved the people, the families, etc. Even the coaches (for the most part) were really good, they just weren't working well together to most effectively coach the girls.

Since it was still during meet season that I was very undecided, I watched the coaches from the gyms that were close enough to be in the running and immediately eliminated one because I didn't like how the coaches acted. Maybe watch and see what other gyms do, how their girls look, how they treat the girls, etc at Midget's next meet and make some notes.

Leaving was very hard, mostly emotionally, feeling the ties to the owners, families, etc, but I have not regretted it for one second. DD is at a gym with great coach:gymnast ratio, the coaching is consistent and the coaches really work together. They also seem to truly care about how the girls do at meets and watch and help them get better from meet to meet. I couldn't be happier and I haven't see her happier either. She loves her coaches so much and they bring out the best in her.

Good luck. It is a hard decision. We gave it about 4 months from when things really were going bad and stuck it out through meet season. I kept hoping things would get better, but they never did.

 

[Midget's Dad]

We do have some options, this gym just happens to be literally across the street. We have been paying attention to the other gyms in the area. Unfortunately our favorite is about an hour away, 2nd favorite so far is not too far though. We do have a third option on the list but we are iffy on it.

It is so frustrating because our girls are all really good. If the coaching was there they could be amazing.

Thanks for the thoughts, definitely helps. I knew the answer mentally but seeing others ideas on it helps bring it together emotionally too. If anyone has more to add please do. I think we are going to start looking now, but stay where we are through the last meet in February. Maybe something will change between now and then.

 

[gymmomntc2e6]

Sorry. Good luck.

 

[Flippers Mom]

Been there. Done that. When Flipper started on team, she had a great head coach who worked very hard to help the girls be their best. She got married and moved away. We loved the other coaches - they were like big sisters to the girls, but they were TOO nice - didn't push the girls to try harder or correct form. The girls all love them, but they aren't doing as well at meets. Flipper finally decided she wanted to change gyms - and after over a year of her begging, we made the switch. She is at a gym that expects great things from the kids. Flipper says they are mean (i.e. strict), but that it is so we'll get it right and do well. She has made huge progress in the 6 months she has been there, and even when frustrated or pushed hard wouldn't dream of quitting. Finding the style of coaching that works for your child is key. How does Bella think things are going? We wish we had listened to Flipper and changed when she wanted to - she had a better grasp of what needed to happen then we did.

 

[Blackie6]

Sorry you are going thru this, it sound frustrating! Some gyms don't put alot of "weight" into the coaching of the pre-teams and young compulsary teams, they know out of huge groups, only handfuls of girls get to levels 4, 5 and 6. While my DD was very fortunate to have one primary pre-team coach and one L4 team coach so consistancy was good, we have also had stand-ins. Not all coaches are suited to work with younger girls. At times when we've had the other coaching, it was from the upper levels and they had no patience in showing the basic skills and working with the girls. 2 years ago I almost ripped the head off a stand in coach for allowing my DD to go full blown down a cheese mat doing ROBHS and landing on her head. Doing it wrong time and time again did not help her with the skill, it made it worse!! Because of the economy, perhaps the gym is trying to make due with the coaches it does have and rotate them thru the lower levels which makes for inconsistancy and frustration for girls and parents. If you like this gym, you want want to try to sit it out til end on season and wait for the dust to settle. Sometimes programs/coaching get better after some drama, but if your DD's team is huge, then sometimes they have to have several coaches involved and no, not everyone will be on the same page. As they get older though the teams get smaller, girls get older and more easliy to coach and things get more consistant. Maybe at your DD's next meet you can check out area gyms and see how they programs look, watching a coach work with his/her team during a meet is a good place to start gym hunting!

 

[M23K's]

I mean this in a caring way.....you need to chill out. It's level 3. Maybe the coaches don't see a need to 'push' the girls because it's level 3!!

If the coaches are good to the girls and your daughter is in a safe environment then I say hang tight and enjoy the next couple of seasons where it can be 100% fun before the real 'pushing' needs to begin. I definitely do think there should be progression and strength built but why are kids even competing level 3? I don't get it.

Trust me...I was 'that' mom and regret putting so much emphasis on gymnastics at such a young age and level with my daughter. It did nothing for her except add unneeded stress.

 

[Midget's Dad]

I mean this in a caring way.....you need to chill out. It's level 3. Maybe the coaches don't see a need to 'push' the girls because it's level 3!!

If the coaches are good to the girls and your daughter is in a safe environment then I say hang tight and enjoy the next couple of seasons where it can be 100% fun before the real 'pushing' needs to begin. I definitely do think there should be progression and strength built but why are kids even competing level 3? I don't get it.

Trust me...I was 'that' mom and regret putting so much emphasis on gymnastics at such a young age and level with my daughter. It did nothing for her except add unneeded stress.

You know I go back and forth on this exact thought. And you are right, it is only level 3.

Thank you.

 

[Tumblequeensmom]

I've been having trouble logging on from my home PC this weekend.......

BUT . . . somehow I missed the fact that your DD is a Level 3, so I retract my earlier statement and 100% agree with M23K!!! At this level and age, she definitely NEEDS to just be having fun with it and less of a focus on a push for getting skills. If it continues to be fun for her, then she WILL want to improve and get those higher level skills.

Have fun!

 

[Gymdad2]

I agree 100%. This is time for your dd to develop a love of the sport and to have fun -- there is plenty of time to take seriously. I have preached on this issue for years but it never hurts to point it out again - most of the L3 4 5 girls who are in the gym today will not be there when its time for the really serious work to start and the ones who will still be there are not necessarily the little super stars from the early levels. Regardless of talent, the girls who will be 8s, 9s and 10s are the ones who have learned to LOVE the sport. I am very glad to read your last post and see that you see to have come to see the importance of this. Good luck to your dd.

 

[MdGymMom01]

I am going to have to jump on the "I agree 100%" bandwagon. It freaks me out a little and makes me kind of upset and sad to see quite a few parents of young kids who are just starting out in gymnastics and getting their feet wet with Preteam and Level 3 and 4, getting upset about things that they really shouldn't be getting upset over. Talk of switching gyms and moving to a "fast track gym" is a bit ridiculous at this age and level. Most gyms don't even start competing until Level 4 so when I see people saying that their kids are competing level 2 and 3, I often shake my head in bewilderment. I totally agree that it should be FUN for the kids at this age and level. I see this attitude with a lot of the cheer parents of young kids as well. It's like in gymnastics--every new parent thinks their kid is going to the olympics and in cheerleading every new parent wants their kid to be a flyer. I'll never understand it.

Anyway, I don't mean to offend. Just sit back and let her have fun. She will last much longer in the sport if she is having fun--believe me.

 

[emorymom]

... Most gyms don't even start competing until Level 4 so when I see people saying that their kids are competing level 2 and 3, I often shake my head in bewilderment. ...

It just varies, don't assume it's parent choice but I think it's something the gyms think the parents want here. Where I am, of the 4 closest gym programs 3 start competing at level 2 and of those, both the most affordable (non-private-gym) programs do and it's not "optional" if you're at that level ... you can't say "oh no I just want her to uptrain to level 4 or 5". I mean geesh, what six year old needs a $160 outfit?

If I had the same choices but could snap my fingers and take away the level 2 and 3 competition, I think I would. But my DD is very excited about her meets and seems to be working toward it like a deadline ... which may be pressure that helps her to like the sport more because she gets better faster, maybe? She certainly seems to enjoy the "team" stuff.

However, my DD's going to the Olympics ... in breaststroke

 

[cathiann]

Hmm, you know I do agree with everyone who said "it's level 3--chill out!" but I think you also need to look at the response of the owner as a whole--a good coach leaves, chaos follows and it hasn't gotten any better--and the owner's response to parental complaints is basically "don't worry, it'll be fine." Our state doesn't even compete level 3s, nor does our team have a "level 3" team (first level of team is 4), but I would worry if I saw that level of unorganization--not because I'm concerned my dd gets all the skills down NOW and really improve, but because I would worry the same disorganization will be present at the higher levels as well.

 

[Granny Smith]

Here's a couple of questions that I would ask myself:

What type of gym are we currently in? Is it know for Compulsories or is it known for Optionals or maybe it's not know for either. If your dd's goal is to become an optional gymnast and the gym is known for it's optional program than I might be willing to really stick it out knowing this is where I want her to be when she gets to optional, I wouldn't want to leave and than have to come back when she reached optional. If it's know for compulsory and they are really good at basics and form, again you might want to stick it out have her develop that good form and firm basics and then look to leave shortly after her 6 season. If the gym isn't know for anything, you might want to look for something else that will at least start to really develop you child for competition (I don't mean attending competitions, but actually being the "competition.")

Your dd is young, very young and if she is progressing and happy than you might want to stay with what you have for now because maybe although you're not happy she might be and sometimes we all need be reminded it's their sport not ours.

My dd is now 13 and an optional gymnast and can I say I love the rare days that she has at the gym where the girls are goofing off here and there and having a lot of fun. It just doesn't happen that much these days and with comp season here (she just has 1st comp yesterday) the fun/goofing off days are gone, it's all serious business. Enjoy the moments now, you'll wish you had 5-10 yrs from now.

 

[Midget's Dad]

To everyone sharing their opinions, than you. Totally not offended in any way.

Cathiann hits on part of the problem for me. what will it be like later? Is it better to move on now, early, or just let it ride and risk having to do so later?

I look at these years from a coaches perspective (different sport though) and see them as foundational. The competition part is fun, and I think it is good for her, but it is not a huge deal. But learning to do things right from the beginning is something I consider important, no matter what level it is. Something learned wrong now could be a huge frustration somewhere down the road. Does that make sense?

 

[MdGymMom01]

To everyone sharing their opinions, than you. Totally not offended in any way.

Cathiann hits on part of the problem for me. what will it be like later? Is it better to move on now, early, or just let it ride and risk having to do so later?

I look at these years from a coaches perspective (different sport though) and see them as foundational. The competition part is fun, and I think it is good for her, but it is not a huge deal. But learning to do things right from the beginning is something I consider important, no matter what level it is. Something learned wrong now could be a huge frustration somewhere down the road. Does that make sense?

This makes total sense Bella's Dad. That is what I find important also--the foundation. I have seen a lot of quality tumbling and even a lot more jacked up horrible tumbling in cheerleading to know that correct form is everything. I have seen too many cheerleaders try to attempt back tucks, layouts and fulls when their back handspring is not even correct. This is getting into a whole other topic but form and technique is very important to kids learning how to tumble. I see a lot of young kids on cheer who "have their full" but it is ugly and the form is all over the place. And when you don't have proper form and technique in the RO and the BHS going into these higher skills, injuries and mental blocks are sure to follow. Also, it is often harder to unlearn a skill done wrong than to learn it the correct way from the beginning. This is just my observation anyway. This is why I would rather have my dd go slow and make sure that she is doing the skills properly. There are some kids, however, that are just really good at doing things correctly and they pick up things quickly. These are the kids, IMO, that excell at gymnastics and will go far.

 

[M23K's]

however, my dd's going to the olympics ... In breaststroke

roflmbo!!!