WAG What would you do?

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luv2gym

Proud Parent
I would like to first say that I would go to extraordinary links not to be a crazy gym mom, so I need someone to talk me off the ledge if need be :). My DD (9 year old level 6) has recently been going through fear/vestibular issues. I recently over heard two moms from our gym talking, one is the mother of a girl on my daughter's team-I did consider her to be my "friend". My "friend" was telling the other mom how the head coach told her all about my DD's fear, how she's never seen anyone come back and be successful after that type of fear, she'll be surprised if she moves up with her group to level 7, and several other list of items about my DD. If it were just two moms talking, ok whatever, that wouldn't bother me as much, but knowing the head coach is saying things about my DD to another parent....Ugh!!! Surely that's not appropriate, right? My husband and I try to be good gym parents, we don't hang out in the lobby, we don't bad mouth the coaches or other parents, we bring our daughter to practice on time and pay our bill on time ;), we don't get involved in drama, in fact we are the first to tell the other parents how much we support the decisions the coaches have made with our DD, so why oh why must we get sucked in LOL. Though I have always gotten the feeling that the head coach doesn't particularly like me or my DD (she is not my daughter's main coach). So my thought was to first talk with this other mom and ask her if there's something she'd like to tell me ;) and then I'd like to speak with the head coach. How would you handle this situation? And, is it acceptable or common for a coach to talk about kids to other parents? Is it reasonable to expect the coach not to talk about our DD to others? Thanks in advance for not letting me be "that" mom :)
 
Honestly? Ignore the gossiping from the coach and the parents. You cannot change their behavior. You're not even sure what the coach said, if anything. Two other parents discussing your daughter in a negative way while you're in earshot? That's a special kind of crazy, and I wouldn't trust them or get sucked into the drama.

Kids do come back from these issues. Mine did. I think all gymnasts have a hard time at one point or another. If you need to talk to the coach, I would focus the conversation on what your dd needs to achieve her best. My dd needed to go back to a point where she could do a skill, then be spotted a lot. Good luck.
 
I'd just ignore it. If you start to notice a pattern of the coach talking personal business with other moms (about people other than their own daughter) then maybe it would be time to say something. It could be that the mom specifically asked about vestibular issues and the coach used your daughter as an example to explain. As for the mom...I didn't hear her tone, etc...but it could have been pretty innocent. Moms often will talk about who will move up and what's going on with the other gymnasts. Obviously it's terrible when it turns into cattiness or gossip but often it's just idle chat.
Hopefully this is just a one time thing, but,personally, I wouldn't take any action unless it got more serious.
Lots of gymnasts come back,btw. :)
 
Sounds like this mom needs to make herself feel better by talking about someone else's problems.....don't worry, just let it go. Don't get sucked it to the drama........your DD will be fine. They all go through 'vestibular' or, fear, or I grew and now can't do..... Or, the coach was mean, and now I can't do this, or I went on vacation and can't do that.........its a long road, and these are the exact thing s that teach our children how to be exceptional.....conquering fears.......it also teaches parents how to be exceptional, by not getting sucked into the next series of 'crazy gym moms'......
 
Why would you believe her? Did the HC say this to you? Or is this a mom running her mouth, and putting words into someone else's mouth just to try and portray herself as an insider... This happens a lot and often its exactly that. Or it could of been a completely different conversation warped into what she wants it to be, which is gossip. Who knows, but you should know better than to take anything at face value from the parent area. On the flip side, if your DD is having major fear issues the last thing you should do is move them up. Just hit the ignore button, after all you just said you stay away from the drama. :)
 
Have you ever talked to someone who was very opinionated and unless you adamantly disagreed with what they said they assumed you totally agreed with them? She could have overheard 2 coaches talking, or just been talking to the coach and saying these things herself and because the coach didn't disagree with her she then assumed the coach felt this way too.

Yes I would be bothered. But you really don't know the facts. So either ignore it or ask. But don't go in assuming what you heard these moms talking about is true. There are ALWAYS 2 sides to a story. I'm sorry you had to hear them, that would make me very angry.
 
Thank you all for the responses. While I don't want to get involved with drama, I am more the "hey, heard you had a problem with me, let's talk about it" kind of person. I don't like gossip and would rather just confront something head on. That was my line of thinking in asking if I should talk with the mom (although the mama bear part of me doesn't want to be so kind LOL). I do totally get and understand what you guys are saying and I really appreciate the outside perspective. I just hate knowing we are the subject of those whispers!! We've had issues with this mom's daughter (my DD actually wanted to quit at one point because of the snide and hateful comments) in the past and I guess this just brought up old, unresolved feelings. This mom sits through the majority of practices and talks with the HC often-she has told me several times in the past things like "oh you know the HC, she just talks and talks and tells me all sorts of things". Why do sports have to bring out the worst in some parents? ;)
 
If you've had issues with this girl and her parents before, maybe staying in L6 for another year would be a blessing in disguise?? You could get away from them and give your daughter the time she needs to work through whatever issues she is having.

I would have a real problem with a coach talking about my child to other parents, but there is no proof that actually happened. With gossipers, they will take any nugget of info they have and warp it into what they want it to be. Unfortunately, there are people like that everywhere.
 
I understand what you're saying about wanting to confront it, but this isn't a conflict that needs resolution, per se. People gossip...someone always will. I would ask myself what I would gain by confronting. Change their perception? Digging into it with them, I believe will only make this more irritating to you. I would let it go...
 
Gym drama will always be there. The best plan is to always stay out of it unless it's completely impossible. Put your head down and ignore, ignore, ignore!
 
Eat lots of chocs. Then talk to the coach. Worked for me...:D
In all seriousness, it isn't worth it to confront idiots, as you can't change stupid.o_O:rolleyes: I very recently decided to talk to our coach about a situation that arose out of jealousy (and believe me, my kid is not that good). It had nothing to do with the coach, it had to do with the psycho parents. I do not care as fad as I am con erned (they can whisper away), but I don't need any kids giving my kid unnecessary crap based on b.s.

By the way, it went great, I got a very pc email back which I'd perfect, and i have no doubt the subject will be brought up in tomorrow's semi annual team meeting.

Off to eat more chocs...:p
 
@Midwestmommy and @duyetanh LOVED this advice, especially the blowing raspberries and the eating chocolate LOL...thanks so much!! It's crazy that we would not allow our DDs to act the way some of these parents behave! I've taken a few days to think about it and I think one of the things that bothers me the most, even though I'm fully aware it shouldn't, is that since this mom is so buddy buddy with the HC, the HC is only hearing what this mom has to say and I don't want it to put my DD in a negative light. Ugh-blowing raspberries and eating chocolate, raspberries and chocolate, raspberries and chocolate haha!!
 
I agree....ignore the special crazy gym moms and ask the HC how DD is progressing. Strange that we hold the children to a high standard but the parents behave so inappropriately. Enjoy the chocolate!!
 

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