Parents Experienced parents tell me the right way to handle things

[gymmomtotwo]

Just got recent evaluation for DD who is 6 (will be 7 in July). She is currently on track to move to the final level of preteam in May where they get ready for Level 5(new Level 4). She seems to be doing quite well, though there are certain requirements for conditioning type things that she is not passing at this point, as well as some miscellaneous skill requirements on a couple of events. Of course, I don't have a crystal ball to tell whether she will be able to do these things by May. She has some general knowledge that she has to have the typical Level 4 skills to move up, but I don't think she has an idea about the other things (rope climbs, leg lifts, etc). So the question is, do I tell her the content of the evaluation and let her know what she needs to work on, or do I just let the coach handle it? I'm not inclined to let her know the content of the evaluation as I just want gymnastics to be fun and I feel like she is really young to feel graded or pressured at this point. I feel like if she could do these things, she would be doing them,. Or is that fair to her as an athlete? Should I go over it with her or just let it be.

 

[wallinbl]

just let the coach handle it

^^^^^^^^^^

 

[SignHere]

I'd let her know. My guess is the girls know the evaluations went out. She might even ask you!

 

[MaryA]

Leave it to the coaches. It sets a good precident... you're the cheerleader, the coaches are in charge of the gym stuff. Keeping it fun is more important than whether or not she moves up this spring, and anything you say to her isn't really likely to change the outcome anyway, unless it stresses her out.

 

[cbifoja]

As a teacher, I believe it is only fair for a child to know what they are being tested on. Knowledge doesn't create pressure but ignorance may create resentment.

Sent from my LGL55C using ChalkBucket mobile app

 

[OzZee]

If I had a 'report card' with their marks for skills then I know 100% all of my kids would want to see it and know what they need to improve on/ how they are going (same as they want to see school report cards/music exam results and comments etc).
gym wise I'm sure they would have a reasonable idea of how they went but they'd want to know exactly. But if she was just evaluated surely she knows what they are being tested on?

 

[emorymom]

As a teacher, I believe it is only fair for a child to know what they are being tested on. Knowledge doesn't create pressure but ignorance may create resentment.

Sent from my LGL55C using ChalkBucket mobile app

Well, but you don't want to say to them "You can move up if you can do XYZ." 'Cause we know in gym, that may seem true to the coach in Jan, but in May, the coach has been replaced, or the group composition has shifted and it makes more sense to leave her with a lower group, or etc. You can say, they are hoping you can do these things in the coming months. But no, don't tell her there's some objective measure of moving up. 'Cause those of us who have been around the block know that it's more complex than that.

 

[rosettasmom]

I agree with emorymom. BTDT on the telling a kid she's moving up only to have the coaches change their minds when the time comes (and we only said it after the HC and gym owner told us specifically that it was happening). lesson learned!

 

[cbifoja]

I agree that you don't have to put the consequences of the test front and center. I'd just handle by saying that the coaches are going to look at your X, Y, and Z to see how you're coming along and what the next class you should be in next term. Something low key so they don't feel like there is some dire consequence if they aren't able to perform skills "good enough" but give them enough information to help them feel prepared and so they have an idea what they will be doing.

 

[GymBee97]

at 6yo she really just has to go in there and have fun and if she gets the skills she will move up and if she doesn't then she won't. I would just let the coach handle it. I know my kids could care less about those evaluations from the gym. They know what they need I'm sure the coach tells them what they have and don't have all the time the evaluations is really a tool to let the parents know where their kids are at rather than the gymnasts.

Remember its just gymnastics and she is young with plenty of time to get the skills she needs.

 

[SignHere]

What I meant was, "the coaches talked to me about how you are doing in gymnastics. They feel you need to work on taking corrections better on beam, vault, and bars. You take corrections very well from your coach on floor. You need to make sure you continue to work hard on conditioning, especially the rope climb, but they are very proud that you can do 10 press handstands and hold your handstand for 30 sec."

Sometimes, hearing it from parents ( listen to your coaches, work hard, take corrections, etc) reinforces things for the kids. I would never advocate telling a child that she better get her ROBHS or she's not going to be able to move up. She already knows that. Also, I never tell my kid corrections on her gymnastics.

However, I WILL tell my children that they need to focus in practice, that they need to listen to their coaches and apply the corrections that their coaches are giving them, treat their coaches with respect, and thank their coaches for their time after practice. I will also yell at my child if I see her cheating at conditioning, because I think that is a safety issue. I think conditioning is important for building strong muscles to make the more difficult skills safer. Any other safety issue, I will yell at my child as well. In everything else, my stock response is "Great job honey!" with a thumbs up! ( it's kind of a joke at the gym, because I never, ever even tell my kids their toes aren't pointed. They can fall off the beam, and I'll still tell them they looked great! (sorry to get OT)

Good luck with whatever you decide.

 

[Foxy's Leos]

great advice from everyone above, but I agree with the majority too. Let the coach handle it and remain a cheerleader!

 

[Deleted member D3987]

Originally Posted by gymmomtotwo
just let the coach handle it

^^^^^^^^^^

i 2nd that.

 

[gymmommy123]

I think it depends on your daughter and what "tests" they are doing. When my DD was on preteam, she was only 5, and they did "testing" every month. Not skills really, but chin-ups, leg lifts, push-ups, v-ups, sprints, standing jumps, splits, etc.. To see how strength, speed, etc, were improving. At first I made no big deal of it, but when she'd do 10 chin-ups at home, and then do 1 at testing, before dropping off the bar and goofing off, I had to tell her, that she needed to do as many as she could, so the coach could see how strong she was getting. It was like a lightbulb for her. She wasn't stressed in the least, but she knew, ah, today I have to do all my chin-ups at once, or re-pullovers, etc., and can't let go whenever I get bored. She simply didn't KNOW, that just because the 3 girls before her only could do 2 chin-ups, that she shouldn't do 2 too! That she should do them until her arms were too tired to do anymore. The coaches hadn't really made it that clear, or maybe she had just been acting too silly to hear the coaches, lol.

 

[LizzieLac]

At this age, I woudl not get into too much with her. Maybe let her know that they will be "looking at a few things" so she is not surprised by it. That being said, once they get a little older and can understand the context of things, helping to explain is not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes understanding the why or the specifics of a test or assessment is helpful for a child to perform their best. Even making the assessment a game can often illicit better results.

 

[krisnkids]

Correct me if I read the post wrong, but your daughter is getting ready to move up to pre-team that is meant to get her ready for level 5 (the new 4 in 2013)? If this is indeed the case I would not worry her in telling her she needs xxx to move up. She is not competing yet, it is only a gym requirement to make pre-team, and most gyms will not hold a child back because they can only hold a handstand for 25 seconds not 30. I have no idea what the requirements are for your gym so that is just an example. Her coach knows what she needs to work on, you as mom, your most important job is as cheerleader. Encourage her to ask her to speak up and ask her coach what she needs to be able to do to move up to the next level.

 

[gymmomtotwo]

Thanks to all for your answers. I'm going to do what I did last year which is not tell her and leave it to her coach. There are conditioning things they want them to be able to do (ie 10 leg lifts on stall bar). All I know is she didn't pass. I don't know if she did zero or 8. She could be very close to doing the things she's not yet doing for all I know. There are also many things she did pass. If it's gonna happen, it'll happen. She'll do it when she's ready. In the meantime, gymnastics should be fun at 6, right?

 

[bookworm]

In the meantime, gymnastics should be fun at 6, right?[/QUOTE]

Bingo!!!!!