WAG A gymnast's attitude/point of view

[Deleted member 17723]

Has anyone else noticed that they/or DD has a different attitude than other girls? Have you noticed that gymnasts are harder on themselves, not only in the gym but in daily activities as well?

Girls on my track team aren't fazed when they do poorly (most of the girls, obviously there are exceptions). I beat myself up over the smallest things. Is that common for gymnasts? I have teammates that are the same way - I'm just curious if it's just personality or if it is something that is commonly seen in gymnasts.

 

[mom2newgymnast]

My dd, who is 8, is definitely too hard on herself. She does not like to let anyone down and puts a lot of pressure on herself, which worries me. This happens at the gym, at school and at home. I do like that she *cares* though. She definitely works hard at gym and is genuinely upset if she doesn't do well or takes longer to get a skill or whatever.

However, she has teammates that are definitely not that way, so I don't think I can say all gymnasts are like that. She has one teammate especially that don't seem to care about anything. If the coach is mad or tells this girl a correction, she'll just laugh. She doesn't do as well at competitions, but has never seemed upset about it. I think it's just a personality thing.

 

[Vivianflips]

I'm very hard on myself for the smallest things too. I've always been a perfectionist so this is not a new thing for me. I've been trying not to be so hard on myself though as it really takes the fun out of gymnastics. I think gymnasts might be harder on themselves because we're taught to strive for perfection or as close as possible and then when we can't achieve that it's frustrating.

 

[JoyAvenueMom]

There is no doubt that perfectionist, over-achiever types are drawn to this sport. I think you find more variety at younger ages and lower levels, but if you look at higher levels and older gymnasts, the majority fit the mold. That is one reason anxiety issues can run rampant in the gym. The sport attracts perfectionists, then punishes them daily by setting a standard of perfection they can never reach.

 

[l.c.o]

Yes! She is very hard on herself across the board... School is quite stressful for her, and she particularly does not do well with true team sports. DD can't handle the perceived pressure to not let her teammates down.

She wants to be the best at everything, despite frequent talks that it's an impossible goal.

Unfortunately, she tried volleyball this spring, and she had a couple of teammates who were not such great sports - they got quite upset anytime anyone missed a serve or shanked a ball. By the final game the were literally jumping in front of the weaker players to try to "save the day" (often backfiring, as then there were two people in one position and no one in their original positions...). DD was such a wreck by the end that she refused to participate in the end of season tournament. Shame, as it really played into her anxieties. I highly doubt she'll play again.

(Edit: as her volleyball coach was overextended, he brought in two high school students to coach... They frequently rewarded the ball hogs for their behavior, which increased it, so there's that. Kids weren't necessarily trying to showboat at the beginning, I suspect they really thought they were helping.)

 

[AgingHippie]

Yes, my DD is a perfectionist and puts a lot of pressure on herself to do her best. She got her first B (in PE of all things) and you would have thought the world was coming to an end. I do think that girls who are harder on themselves gravitate towards this sport and tend to keep with it in the long run.

 

[MILgymFAM]

My DD has always been a perfectionist. I've had numerous teachers over the years tell me she needs to lighten up on herself. Oddly enough, what drew her to gymnastics, in a way, was the impossibility of perfection. She says it's the one place she doesn't try to be perfect all the time because she knew from the start it would never happen. Gym is her place to fail, or at least flounder, and keep trying. It's like a pressure release valve for her.

 

[BachFlyer]

Oddly enough, what drew her to gymnastics, in a way, was the impossibility of perfection. She says it's the one place she doesn't try to be perfect all the time because she knew from the start it would never happen. Gym is her place to fail, or at least flounder, and keep trying. It's like a pressure release valve for her.

I love this. So insightful of your dd to have this understanding. I never thought about it this way, and I wonder how many other gymnasts feel the same? My dd is an extreme perfectionist, too, at school and at home. She seems to take her "mistakes" (if you can even call them that, for goodness' sake) outside of the gym much harder than those in the gym.

 

[SurpriseGymMom]

My gymmie (11) is the opposite. She's very positive and I love that about her even though it cracks me up..! She almost always tells me practice is great and she is nailing such and such, and I chuckle because I am THERE out of the floor, I see what she's doing, and she's far from nailing it, lol!! I love her positive attitude though, I don't want that to change. She has bad days at practice too and sometimes she does get in her head that she can't do certain things, but overall her attitude is more optimistic than realistic..! She's drawn to this sport because of the action and fun. Even as a small child she couldn't take minutia, the detail oriented ballet classes were torture to her whereas her older sister thrived in them! Not surprisingly, gymmie a biggest struggles in gym are all about perfecting things and adjusting details in form. She's happiest learning new skills and throwing them all day long..!

My older Dd is very self critical, very perfectionistic and has a much more negative opinion of herself and her ability. She's a dancer and I see a LOT of ballet dancers with the same mindset! Everything has to be perfect and she is incredibly hard on herself when she percieves that she's not doing as well as she is expecting. She is slowly getting better at handling it, but I have seen many emotional breakdowns because of it!! She's a very positive and sweet girl and very supportive of her friends, she isn't at all critical of anyone else but herself.

I often wish I could combine their personalities a bit. I wish gymmie would take things a bit more seriously, and dancer a bit LESS seriously!!!
Out of the two girls, I will say the gymmie will likely have a happier life in general. Dancer has a tendency to make herself more miserable unfortunately....

 

[seoulmama]

This is a big generalization but I think there's a lot of truth in it based on the gymnasts I know....my DD's coach once told me that gymnasts tend to have type A perfectionist personalities, and if it wasn't gymnatics, they'd apply it to some other aspect of their life or a different activity/sport. I sometimes wonder for my dd if it might have been school if I hadn't put her in gymnastics, lol!

 

[thefellowsmom]

Dd came home the other day super frustrated about a new leap they are learning. She was down on herself as she just was learning it that day and the other girls in her new group had been working on them for awhile. She said hers sucked and were terrible and she was worried she would never be good at leaps. Geez kid!

I didn't know what skill she was talking about and so I had her show me on YouTube and she came across one of the videos and was like "hmm, so that kind of looks like what mine looked liked. She looks pretty good". This girl was obviously still learning the skill but they looked nice and so I said to dd "so do you still think that yours sucked or that they just weren't as perfect as you would like them to be. Give yourself a break, hon, it was the first day". LOL!!!

I see that some kids are motivated by being the first to get a skill or getting to work the upgrade or winning the medals. My dd, I think because of her perfectionism, isn't usually the first to get the skill, buy is super motivated by executing the skill the best. She is very competitive in this way.

She is very supportive and positive with her team mates. I am more likely to hear about her teammates successes before I hear about hers. She gets so excited for them when they accomplish something. But for herself, if she perceives one of them to be doing it better than her, she will fight tooth and nail until she knows she is doing it best.